Independence Day Comes Early! Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to Divorce!
It's not that I hate Tom Cruise, per se -- although I do find him rather *glib* -- it's more that, y'know, I celebrate freedom. And today, y'all? Katie Holmes is free.
According to TMZ, Katie Holmes filed for divorce yesterday citing irreconcilable differences, a move TMZ says "blindsided" her husband of five years. Holmes is asking for sole legal custody of the couple's six-year-old daughter Suri.
Seven years ago, Tom Cruise behaved so bizarrely on Oprah's couch that not only did I NOT have to pretend to be working while I watched it on my [gigantic CRT] monitor at work -- the talent manager I was working for at the time was also crowded in to my cubicle, watching the horror show with mouth agape. Especially the part where he wouldn't release Katie's wrists. Let's review. [It gets really freaky around 3:41, IMO.]
In a way, we actually should thank the late, great, two-headed media monster that was TomKat. They provided us with so much weird, people-watching entertainment, didn't they? Not to mention YouTube spin-offs galore...
In the early days, with blockbusters to promote, they made the summer of 2005 kind of memorable. Tom's War of the Worlds press tour was a non-stop rollercoaster of "what will he say next?!" Meanwhile, in my tiny world of Tinseltown, even fellow alumni of wherever the Dawson's Creek kids went to high school were muttering that the glassy-eyed plaster face following Tom Cruise around only vaguely resembled Katie Holmes. Was she brainwashed? Cruise-ified? Under contract? What the hell happened to Katie?
Credit Image: © Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMAPRESS.com
And then the pregnancy rumors started. And...we'll fast forward past the L. Ron Hubbard rumors and incongruous baby bump, and thank TomKat for the greatest gift the internet has ever received: Suri's Burn Book.
If not for the off-brand snacks and this hat, I'd believe Gwen Stefani is a good mother. tmblr.co/ZwxlDxOEV7Sl— Suri's Burn Book (@surisburnbook) June 27, 2012
I bet it would take me less than thirty seconds to find a picture of Violet Affleck wearing a scrunchie. tmblr.co/ZwxlDxNdrRUW— Suri's Burn Book (@surisburnbook) June 18, 2012
The biggest surprises of 2012 so far have been Obama endorsing same-sex marriage and Drew Barrymore not using pregnancy to get attention.— Suri's Burn Book (@surisburnbook) May 11, 2012
Seriously Suri's Burn Book, I could do this all day.
So, thanks for the memories, TomKat. I wish you all an easy settlement. Now that Katie is free, how will you celebrate? With unexpected glee, like I did?