Infertility: Empty arms and a full heart

You never know when you are going to meet a hero. I read the article about the  30 year old, cash strapped Miami-area mom, Kenia Quiala Bosque. She attempted to sell her own eight-month-old son for $7,000 to a male friend in the Florida Keys.

FDLE Special Agent Bob Breeden said a man Bosque had known from previously living in Monroe County called MCSO to report Bosque had offered to sell him the baby. She was also known to law enforcement for prior alleged thefts. Investigators arranged to send an undercover agent to the transaction. Though Bosque failed to show up for the meeting, detectives had compiled enough evidence to make the arrest and took Bosque into custody. "We are just so glad we were able to obtain this information in time to intervene before anything could happen to endanger this child," said Monroe County Sheriff Bob Peryam in a statement.

I cannot imagine what Kenia was going through, what prompted her to suggest this extreme remedy to her financial dilemma or why she backed out at the last minute.

Kenia has other children and they are in custody of relatives.

As this was reported on Huffington Post many had their say. One said, “This just makes me sick...I tried so very hard to have a child... I lost five and almost died twice in doing so.... For people to take their right to have a child so very caviler...makes me just sick to my tummy...¬She had NO idea what kind of home this child was going to... If he would be safe... Happy... Loved... and yet there are so very many people out there, such as myself, that would LOVE to have a child and just can not...Why not do the right thing...give the child a chance at a better life... to someone that understand¬s exactly what a miracle every single child is...”

That touched hearts, many wrote replies to her, many told their own stories of difficulties with infertility, primary and secondary, and the lengths they went to complete a pregnancy, such as enduring many miscarriages, leaving professions and having 4 months of bed rest. The original poster responded to each one, congratulated those who were able to finally have children, wishing them blessed and silly moments with their children. Now let me tell you, that takes a generous heart.

I wrote to her and thanked her for her courage and offered my condolences for her losses, she wrote back, “Thank you sweetie... I have learned to love my life... I never dreamed that I would not be a mother... It took me a very long time to be ok with that... I have a beautiful life... and have learned to be ok with what is my cross to bear... It just so breaks my heart to hear of people that were given the ability for the miracle of a child, to not understand what an honor that is... Thank you for your kindness...”

Primary and secondary infertility creates such pain. The pain of empty arms and a full heart. Primary infertility tends to gender more empathy than secondary, the unthinking say “well you should be grateful you have 1 or 2”. Of course the parents are thankful but when the heart wants more children it is hard to be only thankful.

I missed posting a hero article last Friday, this poster and others struggling with infertility are my Tuesday heroes.