I find myself sitting here just feeling off kilter and restless. It's like I'm on a never-ending journey and I don't know what I'm really looking for. I'm so unsure of everything that I do or say or even think, sometimes I wonder if my racing thoughts will ever stop it gets to the point they kinda start to freak me out a bit. I often just want to close my eyes and just drift away and find some sort of inner peace.
I really hate all these things rushing around inside my head. I mean sometimes I don't feel like the thoughts are really mine, it's like I don't know where they come from or how I come up with the ideas that I do? Then if I do come up with a good idea or thought, I start doubting myself to the point of driving myself nuts!! The circus in my head never stops!!!
The meds that I'm on help my mood swings , now if we could just get my mind to slow down, we would be rocking!!! It really is a struggle to function some days and I'm really glad that my family got me the help I needed. They are my support team and I love them dearly, lord knows they put up with a lot from me. I have crazy spending habits , mood swings , anger issues, but yet they never gave up on me.
You see I'm not perfect and I never claimed to be, I work hard everyday to get up take my meds and say " it's going to be a good day" .
So please folks don't take those quite moments that you have to yourselves for granted because not everyone gets them.