Bio
Rita Arens authors Surrender, Dorothy and Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews. She is BlogHer.com's senior editor.  Her parenting anthology and BlogHer'...
 
 
 
 

Most Popular

Recent Comments

Interview: Anissa Mayhew Talks to BlogHer about Her Stroke, Her Recovery and the “Amazing” Support

  • Share This Post
  • Pin It
  • 22
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Many of us know Anissa Mayhew as the ass-kicking, hard-charging author of Hope4Peyton and Free Anissa. Last November, we suddenly met her husband, Peter under circumstances we would never wish: Anissa had just suffered a massive stroke. He posted on her blog:

I really just keep feeling like I’m in a bad dream. Do these people not realize who they are dealing with? This is Anissa Mayhew. The strongest, most amazing woman I’ve ever met. She’s thirtyfreakinfive and can move mountains with her smile. She can beat this.

There was some hand squeezing the first evening. Baby step, but encouraging.

Then came the news of the second bleed.

We waited, collectively.

"(heart)4Anissa" started popping up on people's Twitter avatars. Many bloggers posted asking for help. A PayPal account was set up to provide her family with financial support to pay all those bills.

And we waited. We waited with Peter.

Please pray for our family.

I’m going to need to lean on you all. I’m not as strong as she is.

It wasn't all sad. Peter is a funny guy.

The memories aren’t fully. She knows I’m her husband, but couldn’t recall my name until today. She thought it was Daniel. Probably Larusso.

And the community watched, and waited, and sent gifts and made videos and passed the hat over and over.

 

Love for Anissa! from Undomestic Diva on Vimeo.

And finally, Anissa came home.

She's ready to rejoin the community, but we're going to have to slow the hell down and make it something she can participate in. Peter writes:

She also got on twitter and chatted a bit with folks.

That’s a big step for her. She’s developed a slight fear of technology, because of all the things she was able to do before, she simply can’t do now. Things move too quickly for her. In an online world where a quick wit and fast typing were once her strong points, she’s having to process stuff slower, type one handed and struggles to keep up. But the key thing is that she’s trying, and loving it.

I DMed Anissa yesterday to ask if I could interview her about her experience and the reaction of the blogosphere. I'm an idiot. I asked if I could call her.

I know intellectually that this is a woman who just had a stroke -- who was in a coma -- and I thought she could talk to me on the phone. That's how easy it is to intellectually know something but not really to understand it, and I think that's what Anissa is worried about -- that we won't have the patience to wait for her as we strive to keep from squashing her with our excitement that she's back.

She patiently explained she was better on chat. I felt like a total ass, but she wouldn't let me.

We chatted last night for about 45 minutes. She said she doesn't remember anything from the hospital, only the nursing home. The first thing she remembers is waking up there with her husband and kids and not knowing why she was there.

I asked if she had read what Peter had blogged while she was in the hospital. She said she had read it to a point but then stopped because it was too hard.

I said she was so strong and brave, and she said, "Oh, I'm really not. You know me ... we do what we have to do."

I asked if she felt all the messages coming in from the blogosphere had seemed weird or intrusive or if it was all good. There was a long pause, and then she said she was happy to know that people really cared.

Right now, Anissa is in rehab five hours a day, five days a week, working on physical, speech, occupational and group therapy. Her right side is still numb. She can talk, but not with her whole mouth. She's in a wheelchair and struggling to make her whole body work.

When I started to get personal, I told her I was afraid of being too intrusive, and I could almost hear a laugh coming over Google Chat. She said just to ask, that she doesn't get easily offended. So I asked if it felt weird that people who barely know her are

  • 22
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Comments

Post comment as twitter logo facebook logo
Sort: Newest | Oldest
quatro_mama 5 pts

We're still pulling for ya! Your spirit, hope, and persistance inspires us all!

Jen

Mama 2 Quadruplets

www.4tunate.net ( http://www.murraycrew.blogspot.com/ )

whymommy 5 pts

We're here, and we'll be here as long as you need us. Don't worry if you're not exactly the same as before, hon -- none of us are. But we're still here. And fighting. And telling our stories.

Love to you today, Anissa --
Susan

http://toddlerplanet.wordpress.com & http://motherswithcancer.com

Techmama 5 pts

We are all cheering for Anissa, admire her strength and am so happy to hear her voice again. Thanks for sharing this Rita!
:-)

-Beth Blecherman, TechMama

laurie_pooh 5 pts

Just beautiful. I miss stalking her, but I know it will take time until she's back in full force. I'm patient. I have been praying since day one.

Laurie

http://laviedelaurie.com

mamarant 5 pts

Your interview with Anissa brought me to tears. You explained what Anissa (and her family) are still going through so clearly. They have a long road in front of them and it's a bit comforting to see my community reach out to them with support, prayer, love and money.

bejewell 5 pts

Just having her back is enough for me!

Bejewell

Wife, mom to the Bean, and all-around Bad Ass

Sugar Mama 5 pts

Anissa, honey... it is so good to have you (and your boobs) back on the interwebs.

Hugs, Mama.

Boston Mamas 5 pts

Thanks for sharing this Rita. The positive rallying around Anissa's family is one of the touchstones I reflect on when I feel sad/overwhelmed about the negativity in the space. It is an honor to know her and see her return, at whatever pace she progresses at.

http://www.bostonmamas.com/ (parenting blog) | http://www.poshpeacock.com/ (design work + blog) | http://popdiscourse.com (personal blog)

Miss Disgrace 5 pts

I love her, and I admire her, and I will wait until forever, and I just....GAH. She's faboosh. I love you Anissa.

Miss Grace's Disgrace ( http://www.missdisgrace.com )

Disgraced Shopping ( http://www.shopdisgrace.com )

 tweet @grace134

Maria Young 5 pts

I mean really, I overuse that word, but in this case it's like...the word was created to describe her. She was before this, and she will be after she's totally recovered.

- Maria Young

immoralmatriarch.com ( http://immoralmatriarch.com )

@maria0305 ( http://twitter.com/maria0305 )

Lisa Stone 6 pts

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette

BlogHer is non-partisan but our bloggers aren't! Follow our coverage of Politics & News.

kmoldofsky 5 pts

I'm almost done reading Dr. Jill Botle Taylor's book, My Stroke of Insight. I'd long been curious about the book about the brain scientist's personal experience with and recovery from a left hemisphere stroke, but when I happened upon it in a used bookstore recently, I grabbed it up. I'm a Twitter friend of Anissa's and closely followed Peter's updates.
I'm so impressed by the strength and determination of the Mayhew family. I wish them continued strength, determination and support because this book has helped me understand how long the process can take and how difficult it can be. I know Anissa is working hard. She can take all the time she needs. We are here for her and we're not going away.

Kim blogs at Hormone-colored Days ( http://www.hormonecoloreddays.blogspot.com ) and is the founder of MomImpact ( http://www.momimpact.com )

littletechgirl 5 pts

You are doing awesome. Thank you so much for this. We DO love you Anissa. And your comeback so far is amazing to us all. Keep it up.

Kris (@littletechgirl)

ace1028 5 pts

Anissa - we welcome you back with open arms. We're so happy to *hear* your words again. Stay strong! **Andrea

mommyniri 5 pts

Gosh Anissa,

I somehow can't stop feeling that you belong to us (sorry Peter). To see you come this far is fast enough for me. The world will wait Anissa, you give us something positive to look forward to.

Major hugs!

http://mommyniri.com/

Overflowing Brain 5 pts

I never doubted. If anyone could push through this, it would be Anissa Mayhew. How could she not?

I mean really.

http://overflowingbrain.com@overflowinbrain

melisa 5 pts

(both of you. and peter too. :) )

ddicorcia 5 pts

Your blog rocks and I am glad you back

www.thejerseyshort.com ( http://www.thejerseyshort.com )

justlinda 9 pts

I don't know Anissa but I'm glad people from all walks stepped up in support of her and her husband during their time of need.

JustLinda

fabulously imperfect Nothing to See Here... Just Linda ( http://justlinda.net )

Twitter @JustLindaSTL

greisie 5 pts

Slow typing or not, it's Anissa and I'm just glad she's doing better and back online!!

MoreThanMommy 5 pts

Ah, Anissa. I'm just so thrilled to have her back! And, just for the record, she's not the only one of us who feels like things are moving a bit too quickly...

Christy

@morethanmommy

GeekMommy 5 pts

...of course we will wait.

Sometimes, just knowing that she knows we love her is more than enough.

Lucretia (aka GeekMommy)

Raising a child in a digital world, still a digital girl