An Interview with Real Housewife of NYC - Amanda Sanders

 Last week I had the pleasure of speaking one-on-one with Amanda Sanders, one of the newest cast-wives on the Bravo series, The Housewives of NYC. She is a savvy single mom balancing a full plate of professional successes while raising two beautiful young daughters. We had a frank discussion about her unexpected journey to single motherhood. The good and the bad of her ex-husband’s key to her home, what it’s like being a Bravo housewife and the exciting launch of her new jewelry line.

 

KZ: Are you a full-time single mom? In other words, do you have 100% custody?

 

AS: The court ordered that we share custody 50/50, but honestly it’s more like 75/25, because mom’s home is the girl’s main residency. Doesn’t really matter though, because my former husband is always around.

 

KZ: Doesn’t that bother you?

 

AS: He has the keys to the house and it’s for the benefit of the children. I have no choice, but to accept it. I think it’s the nature of the new divorce. We’re not living in a Kramer vs. Kramer world anymore. Divorce is always awful so if allowing him to sit on my couch alleviates the tension, I do it.

 

KZ: What do you think happened in your marriage?

 

AS: It didn’t work for him. He didn’t want it anymore. I don’t believe marriage works anymore. With two income families the dynamic of the institution has changed. Women are equal to men these days. I married a man with a great profession, a lawyer. I thought for sure he’d be making the lion share of the income, but it didn’t work out that way. I think that is too hard on everyone.

 

KZ: What is the greatest joy in being a single mom?

 

AS: The best part is being able to have alone time with my daughters. When they were younger we would go get mani’s and pedi’s and blow-outs all the time. Now, their world is opening up. They like fashion, the theater, going to museums. We just saw the Charles James exhibit at the Met. I really appreciate being able to see things through their eyes.

 

KZ: What is the most challenging part of being a single mom?

 

AS: Single mom’s become the first call. For example, camp called me when my daughter got sick, not her dad. So I had to leave my client to go pick her up. Fortunately, my client was a mom too, so she understood. But I don’t have the same back up system anymore. I need to outsource for everything, even to go get an aspirin. I mean if it’s the middle of the night and one girl gets sick and I need to run downstairs to get meds, I can’t.  I’m as independent as I can be, but I still have to be resourceful.

 

KZ: So do you believe that single moms can “have it all”?

 

AS: I would like to say yes. But I’m not sure. When you have more than one kid it’s very hard to have it all. It takes a village.

 

AS: What is having it all anyway? Everyone has a different interpretation of having it all.  I have a great business and that is successful. “having it all”. But divorce doesn’t mean success. I would like to have a man in my life.

 

KZ: You are one very busy single mom with the Bravo TV show, your consulting business and a new jewelry line. What’s your secret to the single mom juggling act?

 

AS: A lot of it is writing everything down and being organized. I make lists and cross them off.  I also believe that if things don’t work out the way they’re supposed to, you’ve got to have a plan b and not lose focus.

 

KZ: I am sure your village has helped a lot with the launch of your new jewelry line. How did that all come about?

 

AS: The line is a collaboration with Lane Jewelers, called Bling Jewelry. I’m an image consultant, so I take my clients through the process of updating their hair, make-up, and body language. I take them shopping and have always felt that accessories are the icing on cake. Jewelry pulls the whole outfit together. Creating this Jewelry line was a natural extension of everything I do. I’m excited about this collaboration with Lane Jewelers, because I always felt that beautifully crafted inexpensive pieces was missing in the marketplace. This new line makes it easy to add finishing touches. I know when I have a bad day, I don’t buy shoes or a bag, I buy jewels. They never make me feel fat!  

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