An Interview with The Scarecrow

I have a theory.
  
    Ya see, I am close to brain dead, most days. I recently explained to a friend that telling me something is like putting water into a cloth bag. It all leaks out. I forget everything. I write things on my hand, have a calender in my purse and a giant one on the wall, a dry erase reminder board, and when all else fails, I write notes to myself that I hang in places where I will literally walk into them.

    I am just short of putting post-its on my forehead. But to no avail. Alas, I have no grey matter left.

    But I figured it all out. Here is the deal...

    You see, when a woman is pregnant her body manufactures this AMAZING organ that functions as a pump, filter, feeding mechanism and hormone manufacturing plant for her baby. It is like a lung, kidney, digestive system and pituitary gland all-in-one. It weighs a pound and a half... more than twice the size of a human heart.

    And it is completely disposable.

    There is no other organ in our body that we use and then throw away (though some treat their livers that way). We don't, one day, just cough up our lung and say, "I'm done". It is really amazing that in just a few months our body builds, and then discards, an actual organ. But where is that organ coming from, really? Do you know? I do.

    Each placenta is a lobe of your brain.

    After four kids, you are down to just your brain stem. After which, any subsequent children's placentas are comprised of portions of other vital organs, like the common sense organ, the patience organ, the energy organ, and the organ that lets you sleep. As each is discarded, the empty cavity that is created by it's loss is filled with fat tissue, because without a brain, our body can't think of anything better to put there.

    I managed to come up with all that on just a brain stem. Think of what I could do if I only had a brain!

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