Inventions We'd Like To See
By Anne @ Frumpfactor on September 26, 2011
Featured Member Post
There's been a lot of talk in the beauty industry lately about multi-tasking products. You've probably seen ads for some of them: eye creams that disguise and treat, self-tanners that also moisturize and exfoliate, toothpastes that clean and whiten.
But I think we can do better. We are living in a modern, industrialized culture, after all. Humans have traveled in space. We can shop for a dizzying array of products that we don't need, online, 24 hours a day, without changing out of our pajamas. Drive-through hamburgers are available at every major intersection. And there's enough reality TV programming to fill every channel, around the clock, for the rest of our lifetimes.
Image: Pink Sherbet Photography via Flickr
Surely it's not too much to expect a few modest technological advances, just to make our daily lives a little easier. Here's what I'd like to see:
- Computer screens that emit anti-aging ions. Because if I'm going to be tied to my screen 18 hours a day, I'd like to have something to show for it.
- Bras with straps that provide a soothing shoulder massage.
- Contact lenses that instantly make your eyes look awake and alert.
- Magic bracelets that deflect complaints, whining, and negativity from others. You remember how Wonder Woman used to block bullets with hers? These would work just like that.
- Hand cream that contains sunscreen, anti-aging ingredients, and a space-age polymer that prevents these ingredients from going down the drain every time you wash your hands.
- Underwear that doesn't ride up, down, or sideways. It should also make you feel so invincible that you look everybody in the eye, never being the first to blink.
- Shoes that make you a good dancer, instantly.
- A coffee-based cleanser that makes your face look as bright and awake as the first cup of coffee makes you feel in the morning.
- A special concealer that makes pimples, undereye circles, and age spots invisible to ex-boyfriends, potential employers, and mean girls.
- A salon-style hood hair dryer that descends from the ceiling of your car, drying your hair while you commute to work. Because honestly, people, hair-drying just takes too damn long.
- A shampoo that washes away negative thoughts and pointless worries.
- Clothes hangers that will automatically select matching items, blinking at you with color-coded lights on mornings when you just can't deal.
- A magnetized wristband with all vital statistics about our clothing sizes. When we go shopping, we would no longer have to find the correct size by rifling through dozens of ****ing plastic hangers that get tangled up in each other, trying to read labels in fiendishly small print. The magnetized wristband would attract the correctly sized items right to it.
- Time-released cosmetics. No need to touch up during the day! Lip gloss, blush, and concealer would refresh themselves.
- Dental floss that tastes like chocolate. Somebody has to remove the dread from this chore.
- Shoes that inject a cooling, soothing gel into your feet all day long.
- Tights and stockings with an anti-itch substance built right in.
- Cologne that's only detectable by those who like the scent, or who aren't allergic to it.
- A special belt that lets you eat all day long without your waistband gradually feeling tighter and tighter.
- A night cream that erases all worries about the next day. You wake up feeling completely optimistic.
What inventions would YOU like to see?