It Could Be Worse

While spending those days on the PICU, I couldn't help but notice that it could be worse.  While my guy was getting better each day, breathing on his own, eating, sitting up, and playing with toys; others were not.

While they removed lines and tubes from my baby, others were being wheeled down the hallway for more tests. 

While the medicine drips slowly disappeared in our room, they popped up in the neighbors' rooms. 

While I was finally able to hold my fragile baby again, other mothers' arms were empty.

It could be worse.

As the days passed, I met a mom whose baby had been in PICU for months.  Her son was sedated and hooked up to so many machines, I lost count after about ten.  As we chatted here and there, we became friendly and I found out that her baby was born with gastroschisis, which is a congenital condition in which the baby is born with the intestines on the outside of the body.  Her little boy had underwent several surgeries to repair it and they were still trying to fix him.

It could be worse.

As we exchanged glances through the window that separated our children's PICU rooms, I felt for her.  I felt guilty and selfish because I was cursing nature and God for making my baby suffer.  Meanwhile, this mother was feeling the exhaustion and anguish of her own struggles.

One day, as we were chatting, she told me how her husband had to stay in their hometown, which was about 100 miles away, because they couldn't afford for both of them to miss work.  He would visit on the weekends and she would stay in the hospital with the baby.

I felt lucky because we had the luxury of living within driving distance of the Children's Hospital.  My husband and I were able to see our baby every day.  My heart sank for her, having to face all this hardship alone without her husband by her side.

It could be worse.

Although, as we talked more, I realized how upbeat she was considering her situation.  She seemed so positive and optimistic.

During the course of a conversation, she looked to me and then her eyes motioned to the room across the hall.  There was a flurry of activity going on in there, with doctors and nurses rushing in and out;  family members crying and holding one another. 

She said to me, "You know, this kind of stuff really gives you some life perspective.  You know, how you think you got it bad and then you see others like that." She motioned again across the hall with a nod of her head.  "It could be worse."

This article was first published at http://www.brainchildmag.com/2014/04/it-could-be-worse/.   If you enjoyed this post check out Dalai Mama at the blog, on Facebook and Twitter

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.

Trending Now