Is It Ever Okay to Put the Needs of One Kid Over the Other?

BlogHer Original Post

Whenever talk amongst my friends turns to "is it possible to have a favorite child -- or not," I always make the point that one kid is usually in an easier phase than another at any given time. As such, it may come across as playing favorites, either in action or even in your heart. Adrienne at The Mommy Mess also points out that when you have one child with special needs, sometimes it's hard to find a balance between the care that child needs and another, less-hands-on child.

In case you don't get what I'm saying, she gives great examples:

It’s hard to admit, but being a parent to a child with a special need means understanding that you can’t give of yourself equally all of the time. I don’t think any parent can.

There are just times when one child needs you more. We meet the needs that need to be met in order of importance. We have to pick.

Crying baby or happy toddler.

Struggling learner or advanced student.

Devastated teenage daughter or budding soccer star.

We live our lives picking one or the other. It’s just the way it goes.

One over the other
Credit: aidanmorgan.

Her post gives words and support to those who are also trying to help one child -- maybe over another -- at any given time. You are not alone.


Family/Moms & Events Section Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog.


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