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Some people live their entire lives in the town, or at least the state, where they were born. Other people choose to leave as quickly as possible. Some people move to a particular place because of a job opportunity, or because their spouse has to move. Sometimes it works out, other times the location is something we put up with only because we have to. But what if the choice to move is completely up to you? What factors are most important in that decision?
If I chose to leave where I am right now, my easiest and most obvious option would be to move back to Richmond, Virginia. I lived there for eight years, ’97-’05, and most of my immediate family is there (my mom, two sisters, two brothers, nephew, and my stepfather and soon-to-be brother-in-law). After I graduated from college in the summer of ’05, I spent a year in southern California, moved back to Richmond for a few months in the summer of ‘06, and then decided to move to Alexandria, Virginia, which is where I’ve been for almost three years.
When I moved to Alexandria (located a few miles outside of Washington, DC and about 100 miles north of Richmond) in the fall of ’06, nobody tried to stop me. Even though I know my family would prefer for me to be closer, they’ve never pressured me to stay in the area just because they want me to. That’s something I’ve always appreciated -- they let me make my own decisions.
(Also, compared to living in California -- I only flew back to Virginia twice in the year I lived there -- I guess being 100 miles away doesn’t seem nearly as bad. Thousands of miles, a five-hour flight, and a three-hour time difference is much more daunting.)
Since I live relatively close to my family distance-wise, why do I still think about moving back to the city where they’re located? Usually the thought enters my mind when I go there on a visit and have a really good time. (Not surprising.) My older sister lives in a fun downtown area; my little sister is planning a wedding; my brothers make me laugh. It can be really great.
The only thing is...there are also the not-so-good times, like the inevitable family drama. It’s never all that bad or all that often, but there have been a few instances I can think of where I was really glad I live where I do. I was far enough away that I didn’t feel like I was expected to intervene, or help “fix” things.
If I put aside thoughts of family and think about a move in terms of a “Would this be good for me?” standpoint, I can identify pros and cons there, too. In my case, the biggest factors are job opportunities and cost of living. And when I think in those terms, the metropolitan DC area wins in the first category while Richmond takes the second.
The reason I moved to Alexandria in the first place was because I couldn’t find a job I wanted in Richmond. I’m not saying it’s impossible -- and if I looked harder I might be able to find something I loved -- but in general, the number and variety of jobs offered in DC are much better.
(I guess I would say, ideally, that if I had a job where I could work from home, it wouldn’t matter where I was. In that case, I could live wherever I wanted -- or even live in multiple locations. I’ve yet to find something that offers the benefits I can get by going to a physical workplace, though, and right now those benefits still seem pretty important.)
But cost of living? Richmond wins. If I made the same salary there as I do now, I could afford to buy my own place. Where I’m living now, that isn’t possible unless I want to move to an area of town I really don’t want to be in. And that certainly wouldn’t make me happy.
I do like where I currently live, and I certainly don’t feel like I’m settling by staying here. I guess I just wonder how my life would be different if I moved back to where I used to live. Would I like it better? Or would I end up wishing I’d stayed
