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I really like the idea of Love Your Body Day. If you normally don’t take the time to celebrate your body for what it can do, and rather focus strictly on what it looks like, here’s an opportunity to change things up a bit. After reading through some of the posts written that day, though, as well as some others related to body image that didn’t specifically mention Love Your Body Day, I couldn’t help but wonder if it really does any good.
Don’t get me wrong -- I’m not overly pessimistic about the state of women’s attitudes towards their bodies. I know that it will never be possible for every woman to feel 100% comfortable with how she looks, but there are plenty of women who have great relationships with their bodies. It’s just that I’ve been involved in the online dating world for the past few months, and like it or not, physical looks are a huge factor. I’ve admitted that I’ve rejected people just by looking at their photos, without ever bothering to read their profiles, and I know that the same thing is being done to me.
The thing is, I know at least two other women right now who are doing online dating. It’s really interesting to me how we all have such different experiences, and look at the results we’re getting in such different ways. Liz, for instance, wrote a great post about Love Your Body Day here on BlogHer. It's a good example of how females will always struggle to look a certain way, but in certain situations they’re able to feel pretty darn good about themselves.
But then, the very next day I read a post written by my friend Zipcode (an anonymous blogger). Zipcode recently re-joined Match.com, but she hasn’t been having a lot of luck so far -- and subsequently, she's not feeling very good about herself at the moment. (I’ve met her in person, so seeing this is a gregarious woman with a say-anything attitude reduced to feeling bad about herself is a little bit humbling.)
Its one of those days were I am feeling blah and hating myself. My self esteem is in the crapper. [...]
As I peruse stupid ass match dot com -- it appears every man wants this: slender, petite, supermodel. I am none of those -- gah even when I was in the most fabulous shape of my life busting doors and climbing in windows -- I was never petite or slender. I got hips, I have a chest. [...] I am tall -- get over it superficial dudes.
Why, as beautiful, strong, funny, successful women are we so easily reduced to feeling bad about our looks? Why, when we’re otherwise so competent in our daily lives do we allow strangers to tear us down?
Related Reading:
Hil says, “It drives me crazy to see how much women define their self-worth based on their dress size. How much they compare themselves to others. And it drives me crazy that so many women seem to think that self-acceptance is great for other people, but not for them–they still need to lose weight/tone up/meet the impossible ideal.”
Amazeingteacher has been trying online dating, but she says, in her mind “Men don't want to date or fall in love with fat people. They. just. don't. I'm 33 years old and I've dated through the years. I've seen men call, respond, act interested when I'm thinner...at this size it's as if I'm nonexistent. I'm not the biggest person in the world, but sometimes it feels like it.”
Manya has received compliments on the photos she has on her dating profile, but she’d rather not be told that she’s beautiful and sexy before that person has even met her.
Susanne at Creative Mother said it’s taken some time for her to learn to love her body but “it was really worth it. Yes, I am overweight (that’s a fact) but I don’t really feel that there is something to hide.”
Live Science: In Romance, Looks Matters Most to the Beautiful
(Contributing editor Zandria wants a psycho to stop staring at her -- but luckily she's off to Las Vegas for a few days. She blogs regularly at Zandria.us.)
