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Sparkle (0)
I just came home from dinner with two of my good friends and one girl that my friends know but I was just meeting for the first time. This girl seemed ok and it always takes me time to warm up to people so I gave it a chance to get to know her a bit. My two friends are women's studies/social work students just like me, but this other girl is in a totally different program (and mindset). Somehow we got on the topic of prostitution and being a playboy bunny and the amount of money women can make from showing or selling their body.
This new girl jumps in the conversation and says "If I had the body (she's a little heavy set) I would be up on those poles dancing around making money! I have a $50 000 school debt and if someone else is gonna pay my tuition i'll take it. Why not?"
I was stunned into silence for a moment because I spend so much time with feminist-minded people that I was shocked for a moment. And a little weary that I had to sit through the rest of dinner with her! I asked her "Why would you choose that to be the one way to pay off your school debt? Why would you want to make money that way?" And her response to me was "Because it would be an easy way out." She did not say it with a defiant attitude, her behaviour was completely casual, as if it was as simple as choosing to read a book or take a shower. My two friends jumped in and started talking about tuition and then quickly got on another topic. But I was silent for a bit; I had to sit and contemplate what just happened.
One thing we work on in women's studies is trying to understand why women make the choices they do and what circumstances or constraints leed them to those choices. One class I took, about violence in women's lives, was taught by an amazing woman who helped me understand that I cannot judge a woman for a choice she makes, for example choosing to strip for money, without knowing what led her to that situation in the first place or why she cannot leave a certain situation.
So this is a sensitive topic for me and not something to just toss out for casual converstation. And here is this young girl sitting in front of me who is smart and talented and interesting blabbing away about how she would strip becasue it is easier than getting a 'regular' job which would take a lot longer to pay off school debits with.
I told her that I would not want to make my money that way. I do not want the money some skeezy guy gives me for exploiting and degrading my body. Not becasue I am knocking the women who are in those situations, but because I believe women and their bodies should be respected and valued and revered, not tossed around and made into a spectacle *cough*like the disgusting new lady gaga video that i wasted 8 minutes watching*cough*. I believe this exploitation should not even exist and women and men should not treat women that way. To say stripping/prostitution is easy! And to joke about it! I'm still enraged! Ask any one of them and I'm sure a stripper would honestly not say her life is easy. Comments like that only reinforce a system that allows this treatment and makes it a casual and accepted fact of life instead of something that needs to be challenged and eradicated.
One thing that I have know all my life but have really come to understand in my last 3 years at university, and outwardly adopting the lables feminist and lesbian, is that my path in life is not going to be easy. The world does not make it easy for women to have a life and it is certainly not all that accepting of feminism. Even taking classes at the university outside of women's studies are torturous for me because it is that man's world and perspective again. When I go out into the world to get a job, and pay off those school debits, I want to work with women and advocate for women, but it is not going to be easy. I know that a fight is ahead of me. But this is a fight I am willing to take on if it means
