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Today is October 2nd. Today is LIVESTRONG DAY.
If you don't know what that means, click here. To sum it up, it’s a day of recognition for those suffering from cancer, survivors of cancer, and people who are trying to end the Big C everywhere. And it is Lance Armstrong's 10-year cancerversary.
I wish I could find the words to tell my cancer story with strength and eloquence. The truth is I probably could if I put in the time and energy and sat down with myself and truly connected with it emotionally. But I can’t. No, check that. I WON’T. I refuse to give cancer any more of my time than it has already taken from me. I’ve broken up with it…I will not sit and stew on our relationship. So I will just speak plainly.
It's been 11 years since I was diagnosed, at age 23, with Stage 1C Ovarian Cancer. I don't talk about it much because, honestly, I don't think my story is very interesting. I had a couple of masses on right ovary. Two doctors said they were nothing serious and sent me on my merry way.
When I started to get ill and my pain increased, I found another doctor who biopsied the masses and told me they "found quite a few malignant cells". Ok, so what does that mean. You have cancer of the ovaries. Uh, what? So I had surgery to have the tumors removed and I am lucky that the cells hadn't spread to any other part of my body, even after having doctors telling me for a year prior that the masses were no big deal. Bollocks!. A year! I couldn't believe that I had cancerous tumors in my body for that long. What if I hadn't found that new doctor? Where would I be now? After surgery I participated in a medical trial for 3 years, testing new chemo therapies. In the end my cancer was gone. Okay..no big deal.
I say that now.
At the time, however, I was at a total loss. When the doctor tells you "you have cancer", that's the last thing you hear. I remember instantly thinking that ok..so I am going to die. A little dramatic, maybe, but a real possibility for way too many people. For some reason, I couldn't fathom that people can actually live after being diagnosed with the Big C. Really...people can survive that. Wow!
I was too young for cancer. Who has cancer stage 23? I pushed everyone away. I told no one what I was going through - the fear, the doubt, the mental preparation that a person does when they don't think they have long to live. I was bitter, angry, and hurt by everything, even the most mundane. I was a mess of emotions and I was only Stage 1. I CAN NOT IMAGINE WHAT IT MUST BE LIKE FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO FACE BEING STAGE 3 OR 4.
Then I started the blame game. I didn't smoke, but my mother did. Actually, she smoked the entire time she was pregnant with me, and for all the years I lived with her. This is her fault. just another reason to hate her. She did this to me. And in the end..who knows...maybe she did, maybe she didn't. There was no real evidence of a link, but it didn't matter. I was angry.
But in the end, I was able to heal, both physically and emotionally. I started living a normal life again. My mind came out of the "all cancer, all the time" phase and I was able to identify myself as Irene, not just Irene with cancer. With great doctors I was able to overcome it all. I was EXTREMELY lucky!
Yet, there are thousands of people who die of cancer…
every
single
year
We need to find a cure…a resolution to the madness.
What are you going to do to fight cancer today?
