It's All In Your Tone Of Voice

The conversation always goes a little something like this: 

"Hello, may I please speak to Bob?" 

"That would be my husband. MayI help you?" 

"May I leave a message for him?"

*a slight tightening of the voice, maybe even a frostiness that wasn't fully apparent comes fully into play* "Yes." 

"Would you ask him to call back to speak to us about his account please? And do you need our number?" 

Oh, how I love my job. It's one thing to work as a call center inbound representative. It's another entirely to do outbound collections work, even if I'm not your hardcore collections agent. (You know, the ones who threaten your wages and taxes and maybe the dog, cat, and grandpa's newly refurbished hip replacement.)

No, I call you about that silly bit of payment you missed two months ago. What a small sum (or large, depending on your debt), and yet, you missed it. I can't think why you would have. And I can't understand why I always seem to get the jealous wives!

Honestly, women, can we please wake up and smell the coffee?

If I were going after your man, I wouldn't be calling and asking to speak to him on the house phone during working hours. Hello!

And let's be real here. How many times have you been called by a random woman who just spilled her guts on the phone with you because you immediately took the defensive "I'm the wife" shtick?

"Oh, you're the wife?! Well, let me tell you, he just rubs me in all the right ways, dear! If you know what I mean, of course. Though, he tells me you don't. Not to pry or anything, but are you really that tired of him? Cause I'd take him off your hands for you..."

Right. Because that happens all the time.

If you're going to be jealous, you might as well make it apparent, which I'm sure it has been to him for a long time now. If you suspect something, maybe confront him? I don't know, you might actually get results.

But, for pity's sake, stop assaulting the poor collections girl.

We get enough crap as it is from people who have accounts with us. And I daresay I don't want your husband. I've got a lovely boyfriend of my own, thanks.

It's only too bad I can't say that on my calls.

And if you want to hear more where that came from (yes, it's a shameless plug), come visit my world of CubedLife.

- RaeNez 

P.S. As a point of reference, while I may not always be posting here, I will occasionally post, and I'll be posting quite frequently at CubedLife. Not to mention I'm planning to participate in NaBloPoMo starting in February.  

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