It's a boy!! (9 months later)

***It has been FOREVER  since I've been on here... Let me catch you up:***

 

We had a little boy (referred to as T in this blog) .. he is amazing. My pregnancy was so much fun (until the end) .. I had the glow, I was social, I loved everyone.. (so unlike me).. It was exactly how I imagined.. except that I ended up having preeclamspia and had to be induced at 37 weeks. The labor was hell, I was in so much pain & felt like my hips were going ot fall off. Will that stop us from  baby #2? Probably not lol it was so worth it. T is 9 months old now, he talks A LOT (he says mom, dada, i wuv you, ok, agua, and other misc things), he is crawling and boy is he fearless. He likes to climb and fall and be rough.. I am so in love. It took my husband a while to start bonding with T, but I think that has to do with the fact that he just didn't know what to do with a "blob" (when T wasn't active and just slept and ate). We are those parents that can (& will) tell stories about our baby until you make us stop. All of this has been amazing and such a blessing, so I'll tell y'all something only 3 people know.. I have PPD.

IDKY I am so secretive about it. I guess bc I feel like other people make a huge deal about it & some people judge (my husbands family would have a field day with that). It wasn't like oh I want to hurt me or my baby, or that I wasn't bonding with T.. it was more that EVERYTHING was so overwhelming. I cried twice a day every day... I saved every ounce of sanity for my son.. I was shut inside myself and I waited way too long to get help. I say that bc now that I am on meds (2 months now) I realize how much I was missing out on by not being honest. I was pushing my husband, mom, & friends away. I couldn't even stand to talk to my mom during our daily talks. It was intense. At first I felt weak about having to get on anti-depressants, but when I confided in one of my best friends she admitted she got on them the day before (she has a son a few months older then T). We talked about the different things we were prescribed & in the end it was her that made me feel okay about taking them. Bc they help us be better moms and the weight that came off our shoulders was one we didn't realize had been weighing us down.

That's all I have for today- Hopefully I'll stick with this blog this time. I have so much going on in my head I'm sure I could use the vent. TTYS

lily*

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