- Share This Post
- submit
- 14
-
Sparkle (0)
O.K. So sometime in December I was minding my own business and I get this email that I missed because I was very busy minding my own business but actually the email was directly related to my business and so I guess, since I missed it, that means I wasn't minding my own business as well as I thought. (Inhale, exhale, I'm breathing. I'm breathing.)
The email contained a request from BlogHer's community manager asking that I write a post in the first week of the new year on the topic of what is keeping me from being happy right now or what kept me from being happy in the past. Really. What the hell is wrong with her?, I thought. Doesn't she know that if you ask the average American woman what's kept her from being happy she will answer with the obvious, "I am fat!"
The woman may also throw in, if she's me, other obstacles to unshakable joy such as "I have a depression disorder, a thyroid condition, am in debt, survived an ugly divorce; my mother died this past fall; my picky, picky dad lives with me; doctors say I need a kidney; I have a teenager in the house; live in New Orleans and so must know contraflow; I watch local news; I contemplate CNN reports; listen to NPR; am a "progressive" who reads The Huffington Post too much; have a brain; don't understand Twitter ... no, really ... I don't get it; I am black and a woman; and, oh yeah, didn't I tell you? -- I'm fat!"
I'm larger than a UK size 14, but perhaps should be consoled that if I indulge a state of unhappiness, then I'm normal, which was confirmed to me when I found out about this Special K Study via Dave Barry's blog:
THE KEY TO A WOMAN'S HAPPINESS
Dress size.
This study clearly was not conducted among women shopping for bathing suits.(Dave Barry)
Very funny, Dave. Very funny. And when was the last time you wore a bikini?
He referenced this Times of India article about the Special K Study, a study also discussed at Jezebel, where readers determined such a study is suspect if conducted by a weight-loss cereal company. They also debated whether a UK size 14 was the same as a US size 14 and determined a UK Size 14 is more than likely a US size 12, 10, or 8. Leave it to us women to talk ourselves out of being happy at a larger size.
The study that caused such deep debate and navel gazing, however, did not say it's possible to be happy and truly fat. Noooooo. It declares the "most miserable" wear dress sizes above size 18, with one anomaly, the desirable size 6 woman who hates herself. The Special K people can work with that.
A spokeswoman for Special K added: "It's great that curvier women are happier, but we know that many women still find it hard maintaining their ideal shape.
"That's why we've launched a free online tool called Shapemate that has all the help and support women need to achieve their slimming goals." (The UK Telegraph)
As I read the responses at Jezebel, one person's comment helped me put this whole dress-size-to-happiness ratio in perspective. MorningGloria said the following:
I'm happiest when I'm a children's size 3. Back when I was in a child size 3, when I was 3, I didn't have a care in the world. What I wouldn't give to shrink back down to that size and regain the carefree happiness of my pre-literate days. (MorningGloria at Jezebel)
Oh, to the grand ole days of my own illiteracy!
Sorry. I didn't mean to keep you so long and not answer the BlogHer community manager's question: What’s keeping you from being happy right now? Or what’s kept you from being happy in the past?
The answer is not my state of fatness. No, I refuse to fall into the young woman's trap of I'd be happy if only I weighed less. Besides, what I've wanted more than simple thinness for the last three years is to be kick-a** physically fit for my age. I want control of my own body, which is not the same as
