It's Not About Epidurals; It's About Support

Thought-provoking post. Thank you!

I think the sampling of the study is too small to make any observations period.

I had an epidural with my first ( http://aflightoffancy.blogspot.com/2010/07/perfect... ) and she had lower apgars and suffered sleepy-baby syndrome. Breastfeeding was challenging and I had some bonding issues because we were separated so long.

With my second baby ( http://aflightoffancy.blogspot.com/2010/12/she-wen... ), short of a medical need, I swore I'd go at it natural to avoid the problems I faced with my first and I did! It was a perfect, drug-free natural waterbirth.

-----------------------------------------------@verifiedJenn
( http://twitter.com/verifiedJenn/ )) is off on a flight of fancy ( http://aflightoffancy.blogspot.com ).

I can't think of anything, offhand, that's less anyone else's business. If a woman wants an epidural, let her have one. If she wants to try it without one, let her do that, too. If she changes her mind and decides to have an epidural later, give it to her, unless it's too late. Frankly, I wish I'd made a reservation for a full body epidural for the teen years.

What works for one woman might not for another. What was a nightmare for one woman might well be a miracle for another.

I have wished for years that women with horror stories about childbirth would cease sharing such with pregnant women. Why do we do this to each other, anyway? I can't think of a single useful reason.

Yes, bad things can happen. This doesn't mean they will. I have a sneaky unpopular feeling, not very media-worthy, that many women give birth without a lot of drama; they go into labor, push a while, experience those uncomfortable pains, push some more, and go home with First Prize.

Let's focus on those, can't we, and save the drama, trauma, and exceptions for footnotes.

Then again, this is just one person's opinion, and what do I know first-hand beyond my own experience?

"Don't be content with being average. Average is as close to the bottom as it is to the top."

days (or perhaps hours, J/K) before giving birth to my first child, this is just the thing I DON'T need to hear. This feels like a scare tactic, much like there are scare tactics to keep women from considering epidurals or medically unnecessary Caesarian Sections. I've chosen to go natural/vaginal unless it's determined that this choice would jeopardize my health or my baby's. The last thing any woman who has opted for a healthy birth needs is to feel, after the fact, that she's made a permanent mistake. As Mel says, there really is no reason to doubt yourself, so long as you opt for a healthy baby. That's actually first on my birth plan: Healthy mom/healthy baby.

Jory Des Jardins
writes on business and career topics at BlogHer, and on her personal blog From Here to Autonomy ( http://www.jorydesjardins.com )

About that Todayparent tweet: "Give in" was supposed to be in quotes -- and @todaysparent pointed out the missing quotation marks in subsequent tweets.

The tweet was based on a blogger's personal experience and links to the blog post (a commentary on that epidural study). The tweet itself was simply the title of her blog post word-for-word, minus the quotes, probably for lack of space.

That blog post is about exactly what you're talking about -- not feeling like you gave in (or "gave in"). I think you'd like it! :)

I had an epidural myself and get REALLY frustrated when friends who didn't have the epidural imply that somehow their birth experience was more authentic or more painful or heroic than mine was.

-- Haley-O blogs at http://cheatymonkey.com, tweets as @cheaty.

I had 2 vaginal births - one without an epidural and one with. They were both great for different reasons - With the first when I had no epidural I liked being in control and feeling my body tell me when to push. I pushed for 40 minutes and I had no tearing but it still took some time to recover and feel normal again. The birth with the epidural I actually didn't push at all - I just let my contractions do it for me so it was oddly relaxing when my second child came into the world and I must say my recovery was much quicker. With both pregnancies I used a product called the EPI-NO to strengthen my pelvic floor and reduce the likelihood of tearing. I am very grateful for having done so or I fear I may be like so many women I know who now suffer from incontinence and pain etc. I think a woman needs to prepare her pelvic floor regardless of if she wants an epidural or not. The pelvic floor is a group of muscles that are really important for our day to day functioning and they go through a lot during pregnancy and childbirth and most women don't pay any attention to them until it is too late and they are leaking or they are experiencing organ prolapse. Like any other muscle in the body, your pelvic floor needs to be used and should be exercised regularly, especially during pregnancy. I would recommend a midwife, and EPI-NO and the jury is still out on if I am sold on epidural vs not but with no more kids in my future I guess I will never know.

I really didn't want to have a C-section, and my OB knew that, but between my blood pressure dropping from the epidural (no giving in here - I was a huge wimp from the day I found out I was pregnant), and the baby's heart rate dropping from the intensity of my contractions, we decided the safest course of action was to do the C-section. Since then I've seen all the stats about how drs do them too often (for lots of reasons), they're often unnecessary, etc. I feel like it may have been a mistake. But ultimately, we were blessed with a healthy baby. What if I'd said no, and we lost her? I couldn't live with that. So I say, judge away. But keep it to yourself.

Jennifer Barr is a wife and working mom of two beautiful girls, 3 going on 13 and 9 months, which means she's sleep deprived but constantly kept on her toes! Most of those experiences are chronicled on her blog, http://midwestmomments.blogspot.com.

misunderstanding of why all this is happening. In your ccase, of course, you did what you had to do, you can't take pitocin without an epi. It's hell, or so I've heard. People buy insurace, the insurance covers a certain hospital, you go there, and your a ticking clock. Your insurance only covers so many hours, if you don't go fast, hospital personal are forced by economics to make you go fast. They are also forced by ambulance chasing crazy lawyers to do everything ahead of time, to cover them in case something happens. Then your almost guaranteed an episiotomy which WILL lead to scar tissue, which creates a whole world of issues down the road. (My husband is currently studying physical therapy rehab for the pelvic floor, which is currently hardly being done or acknowledged by OB/GYN's as an alternative to surgery or meds) Pelvic prolapse is caused by way to many factors to list, most being obesity, lack of mobility, bad diet, poor circulation. In turn I will say the kind of people with these factors will be much more likely to chose as many drugs as possible, make sense? (they don't like to do anything, that's why their obese usually) This is an extremely faulty study. And as for other mothers being mean and idiots, I dealt with all of it, and heard it all. I was a dental hygienist at a busy office, so in essence, had 3k+, judgmental so called friends.
I had my natural labor with some demerol at a birthing center by a non tree hugger type midwife/ARNP. Everything went perfect, no tears, fat baby. I have a whole other world of issues with tree hugger midwives, but that's my personal thing, haha. Women have been medicating with some type of narcotic, mostly marijuana way back when. Epi's take the feeling away and were only invented for people who didn't want the so called stigma of taking narcotics. You can't imagine how much flack I got for drugging my baby with Demerol, complete BS. He was nursing like a crazy man, minutes after delivery.

Eclectic Recipes ( http://eclecticrecipes.com )

We are going to hear more about the pelvic floor issues. I worked for five years in the labor/delivery scene and discovered that there are a lot of "new" ways to help mom's prevent pelvic floor problems before they deliver and that some occupational/physical therapy can help mother's afterwards with damage caused by tears, episiotomys and c/s scars.
As far as the "contraversy" goes. I support mothers getting more informed choices which would lead to less c sections, birth traumas and preemie births. I support women supporting women!

Mandy W.

FourAgainstTwo.com

I am all for supporting the moms in whatever birthing method they choose, however let's be realistic. I do not like it when i hear uninformed moms share about their Drs not letting them go past 40 weeks, then inducing, then resulting in a C-section and a 6lb baby.

Sure, there are a ton of medical reasons to induce, and get an epidural and have a c-section. But a few things I have little sympathy for is scheduled c-sections (for NO medical reason...even first time C-Sections) and early inductions just for sake of "not being pregnant any more"

I am 100% supportive of my friends who want epidurals... but personally I feel like the Epi folks are so stinking insecure around the NCBers. Sure, I do it because I really do think it's best not just a preference... I think it is best for and baby, but I am not judging you. Your baby is just as much a miracle.

But if you make unwise decisions about inducing or a C-Section without serious medical reasons, it is hard not to judge when those situations end up in complications.

I think the study/article is skewed. 488 women? that's hardly enough to do a high school science fair project on, let alone do a published medical study. I think the benefits of NOT having an EPI FAR outway the sacrifices.

But if we want to totally ensure our bodies stay intact, we should probably just not have children at all.
yeah, intimate moments aren't as "tight" down there, I pee when I jump rope sometimes,my breasts hang down to my belly button from 3 children worth of brestfeeding and sure could use a lift, my tummy sure could use a tuck, and my hair has gone from stick straight to annoyingly wavy. So if in a few years, my pelvic floor
is not as sturdy, I will add that to the list of "war wounds" I gladly take on to reproduce these little miracles.

But Sadly, our culture wants pain free, inconvenience free, etc. Trust me, once they come up with a way to grow a baby in a synthetic womb...wealthy women everywhere will be all over it to protect their precious bodies from undergoing such torturous side affects of pregnancy. Sad indeed.

I think it sad that some might actually think "hmmm, I think I want the Epidural now.. because i really don't want my pelvic floor to collapse one day" Well, like I said--- they probably shouldn't get pregnant. Because a lot more is going to collapse!

Let's not make birthing decisions just because they are more convenient or comfortable or a bother to deal with.

Bring on the Pelvic floor failure. Totally worth it in my book.

Mama Llama! 
Come graze with our crazy Herd!

www.littlellamas.com ( http://www.littlellamas.blogspot.com/ )

Having an epidural was on my birth plan. I read and read, and decided..."Yep. That's for me." My best friend didn't want one. That was fine too.

Someday 100 years from now we may know the answer. At this moment in time, pick a side - you will find all the research you need to support your decision.

Also, 488 participants is a pretty large sample for this kind of research. Many practices currently in use today stem from tiny little samplings of 50-100 people. (Non pharma, that is.) I was shocked to learn this when I was doing lots of clinical research.

Lori, speech pathologist, writer, and business owner, blogs home-family-working-mom drama at In Pursuit of Martha Points. ( http://inpursuitofmarthapoints.com )

I certainly can't judge a woman for her choices or lack of choice when her and her baby's health are endangered.

But honestly, it's kinda like judging a woman who has a C-section vs a vaginal birth to be less of a woman or mother. Utter nonsense! Or saying I'm not a mother because I didn't give birth to my son. Or his birthmother is not a mother which is even a bigger crock of hooey.

I wish women would stop bashing each other over every single thing. We can agree to disagree while still treating each other with dignity and respect.

Choices are personal and made in the best interest of our families, which includes many different variables. What works for one may not work for another person. And that is ok. Really, it is.

(as long as everyone is safe and healthy of course)

Elizabeth

@texasebeth ( http://twitter.com/texasebeth )  and My Life, such as it is.... ( http://texasebeth.blogspot.com )

I had a c-section. An emergency, hair raising, "you're going straight from this check-up to the hospital NOW" c-section. And I've taken soooo much flack for that. But hey, my 5 year old is alive because of that c-section, so they can suck it. (And my pelvic floor is peachy!)
You've hit the nail on the head with the big picture problem - why can't women just support other women?

Couldn't have said it better myself. I had some preferences about what I wanted, but at a week overdue, I was just ready to be done. So when it came to the birth experience, as long as the baby and I were safe, I was OK with whatever needed to be done. It was a means to a very happy end.

Oh, and for those interested: doctor-ordered induction (1 week overdue, 3cm dilated), no pain until water was broken (at 5cm), epidural that wore off (but still kept the pelvic floor numb!), episiotomy, vacuum-assisted for the last 15 or so seconds. The nursing staff and my doctor (who rocks) were super-supportive with everything.

shasta
bloggingwithmittens.com ( http://bloggingwithmittens.com )

I tend to feel immediately defensive and nervous when I have to talk about my birth experience with my first and I know that it will be the same when this one shows up. It's amazing how harsh and cruel some people can be. As women and mothers, this is something we should really be bonding over, not bitching at each other over. It's a situation that would only benefit from an understanding and sympathetic audience instead of a bunch of ridiculous assumptions that whatever choices we make, we are ruining our kids.
Somer blogs at Merry Wife of Canon ( http://www.merrywifeofcanon.com ) as well as Smell My Plate ( http://www.smellmyplate.com ).

After the very painful attempts at an epidural did not work with my second delivery, I decided I could and would opt out of an epidural on #3. However because of issues with the babies position and heartrate I had to be monitored at all times and that was only happening in one very specific, and PAINFUL position. While I am still convinced that had I been able to move to get comfortable I could have made it, I couldn't do it given my situation. So I "gave in." The Dr was frustrated with me, because I attempted to do without so long and ending up getting it during very intense contrax instead of just doing it early on. But what can you do, we all do what's best for us in the moment.
I too was induced (all 3 times) and I thoroughly believe that adds to the intensity and know very few women who were induced that were able to go fully natural.
But I totally agree that we should all be more supportive of others choices. I always ask pregnant women if they want to know my experiences before sharing and then do my best to be totally honest. And when I talk with moms about their experiences I hail those who went without the epidural and understand those who got one. All three of my labors felt very different so no one should claim to know what everyone else has felt and gone through or think they are better than anyone else.
The only people who are able to raise my brow are the first timers who opt for (or attempt to opt for) a c-section to get out of labor. Based on my friends experiences I'd do labor over a c0section recovery any day. But what do I know, I take the easy way out, right? LOL

My mother, grandmother and great aunt all suffered sever pelvic floor damage which required extensive surgery in heir later years. I am soooooooooo happy right now that I had the epis which were incredibly horrible but hopefully I can avoid what my mother went through.

Lee from www.coupledumb.com ( http://www.coupledumb.com/ )

We had a fairly easy birth plan -- please ensure that the twins and I all live. Anything on top of that was insignificant. Did I have some preferences? Sure. But I couldn't be focused on the birth experience because I had a fairly realistic view of the possibilities -- and my focus was on the children and my health and not on whether I left the room feeling like I had done something right or wrong.

I laugh every time I get an earnest email from a birth doula (and I somehow get a lot of these even though I'm an infertility blogger) talking about the birth experience. And I explain yet again -- my only concern is that the child and I both come out of it alive and intact. Everything else is gravy and to be focused on it is to lose sight of the thing that is really, really important to me -- the child. Er...and me.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).