I've Been Thinking...
I've been thinking a lot lately on how my weeks have gone by
Gone past me really without my knowing why.
I know that I've been there, been involved had my part
I've bought the gifts, planned the parties, baked dishes from the start.
So why this pause and feeling of disconnect?
Is there something I missed some small piece of neglect?
I watch as my children all play,
They laugh they giggle they are my children I love them in every way
In my heart I feel absent always too busy to join in on the fun.
Yet why? Why can't I pull down my barrier and be a part of their one?
One family one joy one ball of laughter...
My Hubby seems to fall naturally into that excitement they're after.
Yet for me it's a struggle... a pull... a fight.
I much rather organize and plan than have a pillow fight.
I'm Momma - they love me I know
But when they want to have fun it's to Daddy they go.
They run to him and scream "Daddy let's play!"
But to me these words they never say.
Does it hurt I'm not sure since play for me is not my thing
But oh how I'd love to hear those words to me at times them sing.
I'm Momma - I plan..I do... I take care
But why does the fun for me seem so far and never near?
This is what I've been thinking as the Holiday draws nigh...
Maybe I need to step outside myself and jump in on their natural high?
So what I don't feel I am the playful type...
My Kiddies still love me and that beats all the hype.
This time I will crawl... I will run... I will laugh until I cry
After all, these are the days I'll never get back once they've gone by
I need to stop looking on and start being a part
Who says Momma's no fun? Who says she can't start?
Oh yeah, I've been thinking...!