- Share This Post
- Pin It
- 7
-
Sparkle (0)
This is a compensated review from BlogHer and Yummie Tummie.
I don't know if you have a mother like mine or you are a mother like mine but moms? They notice everything. Every bump, scratch, ripple, tag, even the way a shirt hangs. My mother can spot it all with her bionic mother vision. I guess it's one of those things that happens immediately after giving birth: lactating and the ability to notice that your child has gained half an ounce in her hips.
So when I gained weight - or as my mother said, "You look puffy..." - my mother went on this long winded diatribe on how I might want to invest in some shapewear. "Just for smoothing, Heather Lynn". She softens the blow by saying "that dress is really cute...but there are some lumps."
But I, the lady, doth protest. "Like a girdle?" I spit the word out and envisioned looking like Betty Draper. All pointy and pinched. I shuddered and in response she gave me those motherly I-know-better-than-you-do eyes and so I went on a mission.
First off; when you're testing out a new clothing product to go straight for the most expensive thing you've heard of. My mother suggested Spanx which she loves! She wears it under everything! You can wear it and rainbows will shoot forth from your breasts! I instead headed for Marshalls for $10 experimental shapewear that I could love or leave. I ended up with a tank top, two pairs of underwear that go up into my armpits and a fitted slip.
When I got home I shimmied into those giant 'stomach in holding' underwear and admired the way my 
stomach looked in the mirror. Left, right, front. It was smoother. A miracle it was until the next day when I had to wear the magical underwear for an entire day. There was riding up of the slip. The following day my underpants were emphasizing my muffing top instead of hiding it. But there were still more things to test. I had hope. My favorite ended up being this one piece contraption to wear under dresses.
Ya'll I was all happy and ecstatic and high-fiving my dog because I was all sucked in. Who cares that my spleen shot out of my mouth? I looked slimmer. The brand was Maidenform (if you don't have an outlet near you then I'm sorry) and I was in love. That is until I had to use the bathroom.
Men, feel free to close your eyes when I get to this part. Are they closed?
Oh my God, to take that contraption off in order to pee involved cooking grease, a prayer on a rosary and someone from Cirque de Soleil teaching me how to contort my body in such a way that I could remove almost all of my clothing but not completely and you know, NOT pee all over every article of clothing.
Being a woman can be so dignified.
I went home to tell my roommate about my acrobatics and she told me that she didn't believe in shapewear and I said that I can get behind anything that makes me not look like I'm 19 weeks pregnant. I'd rather be slightly uncomfortable than have someone ask when my baby is due. 
Fast forward to several weeks ago when I was asked to test out shapewear for a company called Yummie Tummie during the BlogHer conference. Two tank tops that could easily be worn under a number of dresses. Instead of being all stretchy and full of spandex, the top and the bottom of the tanks were made of t-shirt material with the center being the actual stomach holding in panel part (is there a word for this?). So one day I wore my black tank top under a black ruffled shirt and it looked as if I was just wearing a t-shirt instead of straight up shapewear. I also loved that they were tank tops. I own numerous tanks in black and white to wear under dresses and these were the first that held all of 'IT' in and didn't force me to remove my shoulder from its socket. My only suggestion is to order a size larger than you normally wear to keep the YT from ending up somewhere near your armpits and your cleavage all out while speaking on a panel. Not that that
