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JL Fields blogs about her transition to a vegan diet and lifestyle at JL goes Vegan: Food & Fitness with a Side of Kale. Her original recipes hav...
 
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January Diet? Nope, I Bought Bigger Clothes

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Own Your Beauty is a groundbreaking, year-long movement bringing women together to change the conversation about what beauty means. Our mission: to encourage and remind grown women that it is never too late to learn to love one's self and influence the lives of those around us - our mothers, friends, children, neighbors. We can shift our minds and hearts and change the path we follow in the pursuit of authentic beauty.

Hey, if I could embrace my grey hair in 2010, after dying it for 20+ years ...

why not embrace a few extra pounds?

Each January, for the past five years, I’ve found myself weighing about 8 - 10 pounds over my “happy weight.” I would buy the latest edition of The South Beach Diet, re-enroll in the online Weight Watchers plan or purchase a personal training package from my gym. I would diet.

By March or April, I would find myself down 10 - 13 pounds, below my “happy weight.” I would spend my spring and summer running marathons (now half-marathons) and training and competing in triathlons. Yet I would continue to “diet” (Rice, no thanks? Bread? No, I’ll have a bread-less sandwich, thank you very much.) Essentially, I was always dieting, simply to maintain the weight loss. Late summer / early fall, well into my training, I would finally heed my body’s call and begin eating healthy breads, rice and grains. And the scale would start climbing.

This year, the weight started climbing earlier than usual. After “going vegan,” I started cooking. I mean really cooking. Healthy, hearty, fabulous vegan food. I fell in love with food. I moved from depriving myself to allowing myself to savor and enjoy every morsel of the (mostly) healthy foods.

Last January, I began working with a nutrition counselor, Jill, to try a cleanse for the first time. I admit, it was my 2010 attempt to drop the 8 - 10 pounds. I did lose several pounds but learned that cleansing isn’t for weight loss. I “dieted” through the spring and continued to meet with Jill throughout the year to guide me on my vegan transition and then to tackle some health issues connected to diet. We recently had our last session of the year. She asked me if I had any concerns. I said “Yes, once again my weight is up, and I need to diet.” She queried me as to why I felt like I needed to diet. I explained that every year I find myself 8 - 10 pounds over my happy weight. Jill said that she saw me experiencing an incredibly healthy relationship with food. That I was enjoying it. She went on to make two simple observations. 1) Maybe this is my weight. 2) Perhaps, if I bought some larger clothes, I might actually realize I look good now.

Buy bigger clothes?

I went out the following weekend and bought a pair of jeans, a pair of slacks, a skirt and a dress. I loved how I looked in my new clothes. On Monday at work, in a sassy new dress, a colleague asked “Have you lost weight?” Nope. My clothes fit. What a concept.

Interestingly, this conversation had come up with friends before my consultation with Jill. I have two dear friends, Erin and Kari, with whom I have trained for triathlons, with whom I have gained weight and with whom I have dieted. In October, I told them that I was re-thinking my “happy weight” because I wasn’t happy. They were very supportive and reminded me that I looked good at that very moment.

Also interesting, I shared with two other friends, Lisa and Susan, my conversation with Jill and her observation about my new relationship with food. We three had a fabulous girlfriend weekend this summer in San Diego that included lots of food in, and lots of food out. Lisa’s response to Jill’s observation was surprising. She said that she had never seen me enjoy food so much as this summer and that it was such a contrast to a girl’s weekend several years ago when I declined her offer of just one M&M because “I can’t eat that”

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JL Fields 5 pts

...to each and every one of you for the comments. It feels good to know that I am not alone in this nutty quest for a "happy" number.

I plan to go shopping this weekend to add a few more pieces to my larger wardrobe ;)

JL goes Vegan:  Food & Fitness with a side of Kale ( http://www.jlgoesvegan.com )
Follow me on Twitter ( http://www.twitter.com/jlgoesvegan ).

NoelleAloud 5 pts

OK, I don't even know you, and I'm so FLIPPING proud of you! This is awesome. And you've really inspired me to change my attitude.

I have been trying to lose the same 10 (OK, 15) pounds for almost a year, and the idea of accepting THIS weight as my weight feels kind of foreign and scary! You mean I might never see my "happy weight" again?

But the thing is, trying to get there isn't making me happy. It's making me miserable. What would make me happy would be to enjoy that warm, gluten-free vegan muffin (with jam!) without having to think about "working it off" later.

I think I'll give it a shot.

.....................................

Noelle is the broad behind Baby in Broad ( http://babyinbroad.blogspot.com ).

Very Personal Training 5 pts

I actually love you in the gray hair! It's a bold thing to not conform and to allow yourself to be happy just the way you are. I'm so sick of New Years Resolutions and have told all my personal training and coaching clients not to make them this year. You can be thin and still be unhappy, so why not be 10 pounds heavier, enjoy your food, and stop fighting it!

Dani is the owner of Very Personal Training ( http://www.verypersonaltraining.com/ ) and blogs ( http://verypersonaltraining.wordpress.com/ ) about her own struggles with eating and body i

Rachel Medanic 5 pts

You look great. Thank you for an important message about celebrating who we are. It is a good reminder that my "happy weight" may be different should I get near it again. I lost my Dad at 21 and that's where the pounds piled on. So my push this year is to get back to where I was when I lost him- it will take years as a journey...but yours is a wonderful message to remind me that yeah, high school weight is kind of...not the target any more!

Happy New Year!

Rachel
Chief Creatrix
Vampituity

runny_yolk 5 pts

I am not happy being not at my happy weight right now and alas... I am on a diet.

You look great.

Yolk: a blog about eggs and sperm ( http://http://runnyyolk.wordpress.com/ )

Jory Des Jardins 5 pts

You look fabulous, by the way.

I can relate somewhat. I had a baby in Sept, and though I am close to my original weight, the distribution, you could say, of my body, has shifted, and I've lost tone. Throughout my mat leave I tried stuffing myself back into my original clothes, upset that they did not fit. A few weeks ago I finally realized that I needed a bust to breastfeed, and that if I just went up a size I wouldn't feel so unattractive in my clothes. I bought a few key pieces in bigger, less snug sizes, and lo and behold, I'm feeling more myself these days.

While I don't recommend going up a size to justify unhealthy eating and fitness habits, I do think that we have to get out of the mindset of our "usual size". We are not failures for having bodies that shift and change.

Jory Des Jardins
writes on business and career topics at BlogHer, and on her personal blog From Here to Autonomy ( http://www.jorydesjardins.com )

KLZ 5 pts

You are ROCKING those clothes.

I'm not buying bigger clothes though. Not because of a happy weight.

Because I am cheap.

KLZ

http://www.taminginsanity.com

IWantThursdays 5 pts

I think you look great! No doubt about it.

And your relationship with food is so healthy. So often we don't enjoy what we are eating. And the gray hair, it's classy. I get more of those every day and I don't plan to dye my hair.

Cheers to you for such a great outlook for 2011.

tara

More of me at: http://iwantthursdays.blogspot.com

brisher7 5 pts

I love this blog. Thank you so much for writing about what you've been going through and your new attitude. What a fricking simple concept that we (or I) almost never get to without self-punishment or guilt or whatever. Sheesh.

Happy New Year!

CookTheStory 5 pts

I also think you look fantastic. Some of what you're saying reminds me of the show What Not to Wear(on TLC). I watched episodes back to back when pregnant and on bed rest.

At first I thought they were a mean criticizing people's style, etc. But then I came to realize that they were not making people fundamentally change themselves (lose weight, get a boob job, whatever).

They were saying, "Here's what you actually look like. Let's get you clothes that fit in styles and colors that enhance your natural beauty."

It changed the way I looked at myself. I now dress in clothes that fit and suit me better and I know that look great even if I don't have the pre-maternity figure I once had.

Thanks for sharing your experience. It is very helpful to hear this kind of message and to hear it often, allowing it to compete with the massive amount of more negative views out there.

Why Cook the Story ( http://www.cookthestory.wordpress.com )? Because food with a past is so very seductive. And, because stories that make you drool are better than those that don't.

SinCitySiren 5 pts

Thank you so much for this post! It really speaks to where I'm at as a new mom (post-baby body) and getting back into running and fitness in the new year. Diets don't work! Hating your body definitely doesn't work! We all need to accept where we are at more and offer that as role models for the next generation: http://wp.me/p1bnny-38
-SinCitySiren

Polish Mama on the Prairie 6 pts

You look fantastic. I hope I look that great! I have several friends from high school who just could not get the idea that they were no longer "medium 6"'s anymore and looked ridiculous overstretching clothes that I could wear and I was a good 10-20 lbs lighter than them. One of my friends finally embraced that fact, bought clothes in her size and looked fabulous, even was asked if she had lost weight by several people. If you are a healthy weight, exercise, eat mostly healthy, then the number is just a number. Good for you!

miningfordiamonds 5 pts

This definitely makes more sense to me! :)Great idea!

Melissa Ford 5 pts

You look fabulous.

I do need to clean up my eating. I also need to stop focusing on numbers. I think one of the worst things I do is weigh myself. I see it as this marker, this taking in of information. But it's also a big self-esteem drain.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her novel about blogging is Life from Scratch ( http://www.life-from-scratch.com/ ).

Mandy_09 5 pts

Totally. I have spent the best part of thirty years thinking I'm "too big" even when I was forty pounds lighter than what I am now! This year I'm focusing on liking me the way I am now. I am going to watch the scale but my intent is stay at where I am now. I too have been buying stylish clothes that fit and people do ask me if I've lost weight!

Mandy
Blog: ( http://www.sincemydivorce.com/ )Since My Divorce ( http://sincemydivorce.com )

Facebook : Since My Divorce ( http://www.facebook.com/SinceMyDivorce )

theoutcast 5 pts

I believe as we get older people look better with weight in their face. Being too thin can actually age a person I think. You truly look beautiful!

Heather blogs about Motherhood & Other Offensive Situations at http://www.ultimateoutcasts.com.

Ladystiles 5 pts

Amen! AMEN! Thanks for sharing.

For about five years I kept my idea, fit and fast weight. I was a feather weight. It felt great. I was trim and strong.
In all honesty...
I was hungry, cranky, moody, weak, tired and deprived.
Within the last year I relaxed just a little. Relaxed enough to gain about 8-10 pounds. It was a hard pill to swallow at first. I also had to get different clothes which I despised at first but I realized how much happier I was. The people around me made less comments. I cleaned my plate, a cookies and even started to have a beer here and there.
I feel good these days. I run because I love the way it makes me feel high not because I had a cookie the night before.
I am growing and it is good.

Thanks for sharing, I loved your story.

Michelle Stiles writes at The Beauty of Life ( http://ladystiles.blogspot.com/ )

Make it Beautiful 5 pts

You look amazing and HAPPY in your new photos. I'm so glad you are ready to get rid of those rigid expectations. I just did a blog post on the same thing!
http://www.makeitbeautifultoo.com/2010/12/thoughts...

Thanks for reaffirming my feelings about my post-baby body!

Make it Beautiful ( http://www.makeitbeautifultoo.com/ )

My journey to "live in the moment and make it beautiful" as a wife, mother and teacher.

sassymonkey 6 pts moderator

A few years ago I put on 10, much needed, pounds. I was happy about the weight gain but I hated buying new clothes and getting rid of my old ones. Not because I wanted to be that size but I tend to make my clothes last a long time and I really loved someone of them. There was one summer dress in particular that I loved and that I mourn the loss of. I keep telling myself it was near the end of its life anyway but darn it, I still miss it.

Contributing Editor Karen Ballum also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

JennaHatfield 10 pts

I think you look fantastic! Hair and 10 pounds and boots and all!

I *do* need to lose some weight to get back into the healthy BMI category, which is still much higher than what my "happy" weight used to be. But, yes, last year I accepted a new happy weight and bought bigger clothes. And was super happy.

Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ). She is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.