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I think a little bit of mutual jealousy in a relationship is good. It's healthy to know that while your partner is considered attractive to other people, his preference is to be with you -- and vice versa. But if you're going out of your way to make him jealous, can that really be considered "harmless?"
There was an article on Yahoo Health recently called 4 (Harmless) Ways to Make a Man Jealous. The author calls his suggestions "harmless" because he believes a little bit of jealousy is good in a relationship, and he says the things he's listed shouldn't take things "too far." So what are those four "harmless" things a woman can do to make their man jealous?
Stay Up Later Than He Does
[...] When he says he's going to bed, tell him you'll be in later, that you just have a few things to look up on the computer. Not that he doesn't trust you and not that you're going to check up on an ex or two, but he doesn't know that. [...]Have Drinks with Friends
He knows you talk. He knows you talk more when you're with friends, especially when you add drinks to the mix. And he cares deeply about how he's portrayed in your version of the media [...] and how he stacks up against other men.Click on ESPN.com
Read up on the latest sports happenings, and bring them up later to your man. When he asks how the heck you knew Padraig Harrington won the British Open, tell him that a couple guys from work were talking about it.Whoop Him
Challenge him in something physical - whether it's in an upcoming 5K or in your regular yoga class. It's hard for even the least competitive men not to feel antsy when his woman is stronger, faster, or more flexible than he is.
Come on, now. Seriously? A point was made over and over by other women that these four suggestions are things a lot of females do anyway -- and they don't do them because they're trying to make their man jealous, they do them because they want to do them. Not only are these suggestions simplistic, but a lot of men will tell you that their female partners could do any of these things (and more) and they wouldn't be jeaous in the slightest.
If a woman followed these suggestions because she really wants to make her man jealous (and not because she really needed to do something on the computer while her man took a nap, for instance), it makes me wonder where she'd draw the line. How do you know what that line is? Are "harmless" suggestions like these okay, but not others? What if you end up crossing some boundary (whether intentionally or not), and he thinks you're not serious about being with him?
A friend came to me recently with another type of jealousy scenario, and I'd like to throw it out there. The situation is, she's been seeing her guy for a few months, and she had a number of male friends before she met him (real friends, not friends-with-benefits). She hasn't done anything to make him think there's anything going on between her and these guys other than friendship, but he's made it known that he's jealous of the time she spends with them.
It would be easy just to tell her that he should give her the benefit of the doubt. After all, if she knows she's trustworthy, shouldn't she be able to hang out with her guy friends? But here's the wrench: even though she's perfectly okay with the fact that he has female friends, he has this one (attractive) female friend that he hangs out with on occasion. They've gone out drinking together when my friend was out of town, and they send each other text messages. Even though he swears this girl is just a friend, and he's never done anything to prove himself untrustworthy, my friend can't help feeling uncomfortable -- and yes, somewhat jealous.
Is it fair for her to expect him not to be jealous of the time she spends one-on-one with male friends, if she gets jealous when he hangs out one-on-one with the attractive female? No, that doesn't seem fair. So what's the best strategy? Should they agree that they'll only hang out with friends of the opposite-sex when they're in a group situation?
