"Rescue Adoption" and How the Mommybloggers Broke Jillian Michaels' Heart

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The 2009 Women's Conference - Day 1 - Long Beach, California

Jillian Michaels tells Women's Health magazine that she's not going to ruin her hard-earned six-pack abs on a baby -- she'll take the figure-conscious route and adopt. But saving your figure is not the only benefit to adoption. According to Michaels, "when you rescue something, it's like rescuing a part of yourself."

And suddenly, millions of heads exploded around America.

While there are many good reasons to choose adoption, all of them focused on the child, I'm fairly certain that no reputable social worker will support the idea of adopting to stay thin. Though, Adoption Talk voices the frustrations of so many potential adoptive parents, first parents, and adoptees, "And don't you know that, even with these views, she'll find a social worker to approve her to adopt."

Children are not pound puppies who need rescuing lest they be put to sleep. Rescued from whom? The birthmother who has created an adoption plan for her child? From the adoption agency who is trying to help the first parents fulfill their plan?

The blogosphere immediately reacted, and that's what has broken Jillian Michaels' heart. And it's not the general population that has made her cry: it's specifically the evil mommy bloggers. As Jillian Michaels tweeted this morning, "don't care bout the media, but the mommy bloggers broke my heart. Wish they had gotten all information b4 jumping 2 conclusions."

What other information? That you're only talking about adopting children who are hanging off a bridge hence the rescue angle?

Muffintop Mommy takes fault with her outlook and states, "A baby is not a rescue mission. A baby is not a stray cat you pick up at the pound. You’re not saving 'it' and he or she is not saving 'you'. The best gift you can give to that child is to be comfortable in your own skin, and to love who you are–warts stretch marks and all."

If there is more to this story as Jillian Michaels insinuates, if there are other reasons to why she "can't put [her] body through it" beyond the way pregnancy changes a woman's shape, it behooves her to finish the thought by clarifying. Or to let the words speak for themselves and accept all those tongues waggling (or, more accurately, fingers typing). Because yes, when you toss together the words "rescue" and "adoption," tongues are going to waggle. And please, let's not pull the privacy card when she went on record in the first place with her fitness-adoption plan. If her family building thoughts were that private, she shouldn't have started the conversation in the first place.

What Michaels doesn't understand is that the sarcastic blog posts and Twitter soundbites thrown at her today have nothing to do with whether or not she wants to carry a child. After all, there are plenty of women who have decided not to parent a child, or have chosen the adoption route. It's about attitude, it's about education, and it is about how many people were offended by an off-hand remark without the speaker willing to admit the way she damaged feelings as she complains about the ire of mommybloggers.

Because adoption is part of my world too. But it has nothing to do with rescuing and it has everything to do with love.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens and Lost and Found. Her book is Navigating the Land of If.

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