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I don’t celebrate Christmas, but I love all the feelings, smell and songs that is associated with it. I love how everyone is happy and the together feeling that accompanies.
I have never hung stockings, for it will never be filled. But I do know that presents are essentials for some people, even if it’s used, hand made or weightless, airless and silent like prayers.
I have never faced nor see more adversity and world mayhem that seems to be closing in, than the last 5years of my life. Along with this, a very close second is the insecurity and millions of questions that seems to be in my constant thought. I use not to care about blogs, medical journal, history and literature. But lately, I find myself being (actually) interested with the topics raised, tackled and discussed in blogs like Blogher, marveled at all the smart woman (who may not even be college educated) and I thirst for more knowledge (as evident with my very disorientated blog).
And today, especially today, on a clear blue winter sky, I read a letter from a friend who talks so intimately about cancer. It isn’t fair, she has so much to offer the future and yet know she has to tackle the present, fighting with fear she will never see the future. She a soldier this one..as Im sure with all other cancer or chronic patients.
Today I made a birdhouse, pin our leftover bagel in the garden and hung my stockings.
Today I taught my son, to pray for Aunty K and write two wishlist for Santa. Tonight I will slip them in the stockings and hope Santa, know though my belief is not with him, somehow he will grant me those wishes.
Tonight I will finish my blog draft and send it to those who care for K, so prayers could be uttered for her.
Tomorrow, and for many days and weeks to come, I will be more compassionate and knowledgeable for in today’s world knowing enough is just that – Not Good Enough
