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Hi - I'm Maria, nice to meet you! I've been a Contributing Editor here at BlogHer.com since 2006. I joined BlogHer as a full-time staff member after...
 
 
 
 

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POLL: John Mayer in Playboy. Should We Give Him a Pass on the N-word?

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John Mayer is once again under fire for using the [n-word] And, because we seem to be incapable of having thoughtful conversations around race, he will be called a racist. Which I think is too bad, because while apparently his penis might be, I don't think he is racist just for using the N-word.

Mayer's Playboy interview is not the first time he has used the N-word. In 2006 he tried his hand at stand-up comedy and used it in his act. Reports of the frequency and context vary with African American comic Sherrod Small claiming that Mayer used it seemingly in a way similar to his usage in his recent interview.

MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a [n-word] pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’"

The hood or ghetto pass is a slang term that means you're accepted in black (or other communities of color) culture. You are allowed to enter but you are not of that culture. As I read it, this is the point Mayer was trying to make in his rambley, jumbled language-of-his-own.

Mayer points out that a "pass" into a community or culture is meaningless. Black people have a shared experience by virtue of being oppressed, by being called "[the n-word]." Mayer acknowledges his privilege when he points out that he doesn't have to endure the painful realities of blackness in this country and can partake in the party and leave when it's over in a way that those with brown skin cannot. In order to truly have a pass, you have to have all that comes with life in that community and John Mayer will never have that.

What concerns me is that the reflexive response of some will be to automatically brand Mayer as a racist and demand apologies (which he is giving on twitter) for using the N-word when some useful discussion, especially during Black History Month, could come from this. However, it also looks like the bigger racial storm might be brewing around the fact that he compares his penis to David Duke because he hasn't been open to interracial dating and then foolishly names names when the interviewer pushes him to say whom he might be willing to have sex with once he swaps the white hood for latex. To further destroy any credibility he might have gained by acknowledging his privilege, he then posits a theory that there is a special kind of "white-girl crazy" and attempts to give himself a pass by mitigating his privilege.

MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.

However, using the N-word will be a firestarter. Nevertheless, I hope that some good conversation about race and the N-word can break through the ensuing firestorm, perhaps when this is no longer a twitter trending topic. And, though I suspect he will grow emotionally (he seems to be) through all this, after that maybe we can all learn the biggest lesson offered in this interview: unless you are in the market for a one night stand (plus a bonus spinach omelet) with a guy who has relationship ADD and who will kiss and tell (I do hope he apologizes to Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson), for now stay far, far away from John Mayer's penis.

What do you think? Is he racist? A misogynist? Homophobic? Immature? Just bad boyfriend material? And is he helping himself now on twitter or digging a deeper hole?

Related Reading:

*Added Jenee D. at Cocoa Fly: John Mayer's "Hood Pass" is DENIED

Renee at Womanist Musings: John Mayer: “My dick is sort of like a white supremacist”

Jill at Feministe: John

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Kelley Calvert 5 pts

I'm late to this poll and shocked that the majority of people do not think Mayer's comments were racist. Also interesting is the fact that the racism comments received so much attention, but the "f" word and homophobic remarks got so little attention...but I digress. 

Did anyone actually read what he said? Choice quotes here ( http://www.care2.com/causes/womens-rights/blog/joh... ). 

I like his music, but talent does not give a free pass (or a "hood pass").

Hope is not a thing with feathers. It's a thing with wheels...and a URL. ( http://www.blogher.com/hopeindisenchantment.blogsp... )

Essence Aliece Beasley 5 pts

But he is creepy in so many other ways.

I don't think it's acceptable to use the N-word ever. Not even if you're black. Not even if you're black and you're using it as a term of endearment. Especially not if you're white, and that's not me being  racist, that's just me saying that you will get in trouble for it. I understand the point he was trying to make, but it's not cool. Ever.

But calling your penis a member of the KKK is just disgusting. If you like blonde white girls, like blonde white girls; just don't compare your distaste for black women with a member of the KKK. They kill black people for being born black.

Marti Abernathey 5 pts

What credentials does he have to be social commentator, other than having a fan base? He seems to love controversy and to dump on other people below him in the patriarchy. He talked about transwomen as cattle to be used for his pleasure ( http://anythinghollywood.com/2009/08/john-mayer-wa... ), who's surprised he said this? One thing is obvious, the dude is consistently an expletive word for anus, that  I'd rather not say here.

And really? Anyone ever read the lyrics to "Your Body Is A Wonderland"?  It's textbook objectification. Can't say I'm too shocked about anything he does in reference to race or sex.

IMO, we need to stop talking about racism and sexism in terms of the extreme and start talking about it in terms of privilege. Robinson lets the guy off the hook because he isn't denying people a seat on a bus (but he IS denying people a seat in his bed) based on race. Subtle racism is still racism. Since when should we get kudos for pointing out our own flaws?

TreniaP 5 pts

I understand what Nordette is saying about the word nigger being used like Pavlov's bell, but I think many black people need that dinging bell to wake us up to the fact that race is still problematic and we have not addressed the real issues.

Many of us have been lulled to sleep when it comes to race, we focus on getting ours, creating art or getting that corner office and while we encounter racism on the way, it is often not as pressing to deal with as other things in our lives. So it isn't until something like this thing with John Mayer happens that we are forced to re-examine race and where we stand, both individually, as a race, as a country and as a world. It's sort of like what happens after they show Roots on TV every year (I don't even think they still do this).

Roots re-ignites that part of us that often lays dormant because we're afraid of being seen as too radical or if we speak out we'll lose our jobs or God forbid be seen as racist?!? So we talk about it, mull it over and think about what we would do if we were born back then but the passion dies, the fire goes out and we go back to our ordinary lives...until we hear that word again. It forces us to confront the fact that many people in this world still don't think black people are worth anything, aside from our ability to create great music and art and make babies. And it is a reminder that we still have a long way to go.

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karinova 5 pts

If we continue down this road, folks will start burning the books of great African-American authors of the Harlem Renaissance, not to mention protest voices of the 60s.

Not to be overdramatic, but philosophically, part of me feels that a de facto ban on the word “n*gger” would be very nearly the same thing. Because what they were doing was revealing white privilege and assessing it on their terms. Ripping back the curtain and making white privilege uncomfortable to wear. And these days, that’s what n*gger does, in a way that “the n-word” cannot. It reveals a certain aspect of whiteness. I hate the concept, but I don’t want to lose the word too soon. 

Not that it can’t still be used as a weapon, and I'm not telling anyone to “get over it, words are only offensive if you choose to be offended!”— I hate that. I’m saying, the current social order depends on the invisibility of white privilege. It'd be “easier” for everybody if we all just don’t look at it. But of course, that’s exactly what we (western-society-at-large) need to do. And I’m not about to do it on the privileged group’s terms, pun very much intended. Seems to me that most of the time, obscuring the word works more in their favor than PoCs’. I hate the idea of hurting PoCs with it, but I really hate the idea of protecting some jerk by helping him express his racism more palatably.

It does hurt, though. It’s not easy for me to say it, even when I’m quoting. I do flinch when I see it, fully spelled out. I die inside when I’m called it. But sometimes I need that word— the real word, not some euphemism. There’s no other way to evoke that particular flinch, and when that’s the topic of the day, that’s what I want to be talking about, exactly, not approximately. Because “the n-word” is not a synonym for “n*gger.” And there are times when I don’t want the difference to be smoothed over! Not before the underlying nastiness is unpacked. Like in this case: if I understood him correctly, Mayer actually could not have expressed the idea he did with any other word. He had to use the full real word, because that was exactly what he was trying to say. If he’d said anything else, the quote literally wouldn’t have made (racist, offensive, privileged) “sense.” If n*gger is what he meant to communicate, well then n*gger is what I want to understand. So I can come down on it like a guided missile.

Jenee D 5 pts

Thanks Maria for reading my post and adding the link to your piece. I get he was trying to say that he doesn't deserve a "hood pass" but the way he throws out the N-word, F-word, etc. says a lot about his charachter and his issues with race. And what it says isn't good.

Kim Pearson 5 pts

I read the Mayer interview - or I tried to read it, anyway -- his comments were so irrational and so immature and so self-involved that I found it difficult to sustain enough interest to get to the quotations everyone is talking about. I saw a lot of yelling about this on Twitter, but generally scrolled past it. So I'm glad to come to this smart conversation. Thank you, Maria, for starting it, and thanks to everyone else who have made such rich contributions to the thread. 

The impression I get from all of this discussion, is that Mayer's comments are being debated so carefully because we are trying to clarify the rules of racial conversation. I think there might be a particular sense of betrayal wrt Mayer because he has this performance persona that suggests that he "gets it" about white privilege and patriarchy. He's not Imus or Howard Stern, or at least he wasn't thought of that way. Wonder whether anyone has asked Dave Chappelle to comment. Then again, Chappelle and Kanye aren't exactly the brothas to teach Mayer when to shut up, are they?

Kim
BlogHer Contributing Editor ( http://blogher.org/blog/kim-pearson )|KimPearson.net ( http://kimpearson.net )|

Maria Niles 5 pts

I deeply appreciate that you were fired up enough to register for BlogHer and join the discussion. You've done a superb job of extending the analysis and pointing out some problems with my post. I am grateful because truly it is useful and helpful for me. (And I'll try to give you some direct response to your questions up thread).

It might have seemed that some of the comments were not parsing my words sufficiently. I think that comes, in part, from some longer term community members being more familiar with my writing and point-of-view than it was their co-signing my interpretation.

On my best days I can leave arguments in my head and not express them with clarity. And obviously I fell down with this post which I wrote quickly to provide a space for the community to discuss the issue.

I am sorry you couldn't email me directly. I just checked and see that it isn't obvious where to find our contact information from our profiles - if you'd like to contact me or other editors privately you might try checking the personal blogs we link to at the end of our post to find contact info. However, there is a redesign coming soon which might make the information easier to find directly.

However, I am thrilled that you've joined Nordette, Elisa and the rest of the commenters here at BlogHer, have contributed so much to the conversation (which I agree, is the one I wish was the one taking place in America), introduced the concept of kyriarchy ( http://myecdysis.blogspot.com/2008/04/accepting-ky... ) (thank you!) to the discussion and given me some really helpful constructive criticism.

Finally, now that you've discovered BlogHer I hope you'll continue to join us as there are lots of great writers here who write about race, feminism, glbt issues and more. There is wonderfully smart conversation going on and you are a welcome addition.

Thank you for reading and responding, karinova.

P.S. Just as an aside, while I didn't focus on the homophobia in the interview I would love to see someone tackle that. I haven't happened to see any in-depth analysis of that aspect of the interview and would love it if anyone could point to any posts they've seen that they think are worth reading.

BlogHer Contributing Editor ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/maria-niles ) PopConsumer ( http://consumerpop.typepad.com/popconsumer ) Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

Nordette Adams 6 pts

My comment on your statement was not a suggestion that you should not be in the discussion, Kari. BlogHer likes long, provocative threads. They don't get provocative if everyone's goal is to stroke people and agree.

Nordette Adams ( http://www.bookotopia.com ) is a BlogHer CE ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... ) & you can find her other stuff through Her 411 ( http://her411.com ).

Nordette Adams 6 pts

I'll spell the word out in a minute and also since I know its origins and can read well enough to get context, I refuse to flip out anytime I see it or hear it. I wish people would go past dinging Pavlov's bell on the word as though a word only has meaning after racism corrupts it.  The fact is many African-Americans find any word that has been used to signify black as offensive, including the word Negro ( http://bigsole.blogspot.com/2010/01/is-negro-new-n... ). We could go back farther than that word to the Latin word for black, "niger." 

Fear of the words that identify us as "black" is why after singing "Say It Loud. I'm Black and I'm Proud" we moved from the word "black" to Afro-American to African-American. We seem to think that we can escape de-NIG-ration by shunning words when hate is in the intent. 

Let's be grown-ups. 

While I do not advocate tossing the word around like a gangsta rapper, I do not advocate being so offended by the word, any word, that you can't read what intelligent people have to say in discussing the word and quoting others.

The solution here is not to never use the word again. The solution is to develop critical thinking skills and understand the subtleties of language. At which point we can dismiss anyone who uses the word with the intent of insult as an idiot and understand how it's different when the word is used as explanation or poetic device or political statement. If we continue down this road, folks will start burning the books of great African-American authors of the Harlem Renaissance, not to mention protest voices of the 60s. Will we start tossing out Gil Scott Heron ( http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_an... )'s work or Amiri Baraka's work ( http://www.amiribaraka.com/blew.html ) because they include the word "nigger" and it makes us uncomfortable?

I gave other examples of writers who use the word in Define Your Racist ( http://bigsole.blogspot.com/2010/02/define-your-ra... ) and possibly more on its history in "Season of Our Discontent: Life with the N Word ( http://www.blogher.com/season-our-discontent-or-li... )." Thank you for linking to that old post, btw. 

I appreciate your deference, Maria, to avoid offense, but I'm dismayed that you have to resort to a form of censorship to make people comfortable.

Nordette Adams ( http://www.bookotopia.com ) is a BlogHer CE ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... ) & you can find her other stuff through Her 411 ( http://her411.com ).

karinova 5 pts

Thanks, Elisa.

Rereading my original comment, I see how it looks like “forget everything you just said, you guys are totally talking about the wrong thing! here, allow me to tell you what's really important!”

Ugh. Totally not my intent; I'm mortified.

I just wanted to add to the already-insightful discussion; not take it over or discount what’s already gone before. Cuz... this (this thread) is the discussion I wish all of America was having! (As opposed to the out-of-control denial and privilege-flexing I’m seeing in so many other places.)

Maria Niles 5 pts

I recognize that I failed in communicating clearly but I don't think John Mayer should be given a pass for what he said in his interview. I just think that, with specific regard to the n-word, that I think he was trying to clumsily say that he recognizes that he doesn't get one. And that focusing just on calling him racist for using the n-word and demanding an apology for using it (as I was seeing quite a bit that morning) would take focus away from the chance to go beyond to deeper discussions (like that on your blog - which I've updated the post to include a link to) of race that we could have.

I also felt that his comments about Kerry Washington and other black women were more offensive than his use of the n-word which I alluded to in my post. I think the focus on Jennifer and Jessica might be in part that, while his comments about the black women he named were disgusting, the way he betrayed the relationships he had with those two was mind-boggling. But I'm glad many bloggers have since called him out for his comments about black women.

Thank you for your comments and for sharing a link to your post, Jenee.

BlogHer Contributing Editor ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/maria-niles ) PopConsumer ( http://consumerpop.typepad.com/popconsumer ) Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

lainad 5 pts

And I understand the reluctance to the word, but I would have let it stand.

It is ugly. This situation is ugly.

Mayer didn't (and you know what? I was mildly surprised that he didn't say "N-Word" simply because a lot of people are referring to it that way) even hesitate to re-think it's impact in the interview.

People (not you Maria) get your head out of the sand. As someone who has been called that numerous times, yes I know that it is offensive but changing the name will not change the impact. I have never even heard of "nigger pass" in my life. Ghetto pass? Black card? Yes, so methinks he pulled that one out of his twisted, self-absorbed head. If we are going to have a frank discussion and talk about real issues we have to get down and dirty and not sugarcoat things. Just sayin.' (R Kelly's "Real Talk" is playing in my head).

Contributing Editor - Race, Ethnicity & Culture

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Maria Niles 5 pts

I agree, Anali. The disconnect between the care in the song lyrics and the hurt he caused to so many women in the interview is difficult to grasp. Hard to imagine he truly understands.

Thank you so much for commenting and sharing your thoughts.

BlogHer Contributing Editor ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/maria-niles ) PopConsumer ( http://consumerpop.typepad.com/popconsumer ) Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

Maria Niles 5 pts

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your comment, blkbird77.

And, I wrote out the n-word when referring directly to what John Mayer said because it was written out in the interview. However I have no desire to hurt or cause sadness or offense to anyone with the ugliness of seeing it spelled out and so I have edited the post to remove it.

Thank you again.

BlogHer Contributing Editor ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/maria-niles ) PopConsumer ( http://consumerpop.typepad.com/popconsumer ) Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

Elisa Camahort 5 pts

Appreciate your clarification, as I agree with Nordette it wasn't clear, but hey, please join us, and don't worry about it! You're right that sometimes tone and intent are heard to read in text, but it seems all clear now, and we're happy you're hear to expand the conversation!

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karinova 5 pts

Shoot. Let me try that again.
This thread is awesome. It's filled with right-on insights that I'm just not seeing elsewhere, and I REALLY appreciate that.

And I did catch the comments you linked to, especially
"But, oh, I guess we're suppose to hand him that nigger pass after all, wink at his saying 'nigger,' because he's so introspective, because on some level he understands his lack of comprehension and aversion."
and

"I said that I interpreted his use of the N-word as an effort to acknowledge his privilege and that does not automatically make him a racist. But I also said that he destroyed his credibility by attempting to un-assert his privilege."

it just seemed like that part of the discussion got dropped...? I'm not trying to criticize. (God, I wish we were speaking face to face. Dang this text-based communication!) In bugging out on that one part of the OP, I'm not trying to discount, disparage or sweep aside the commentary here. At all!! It's just that it feels like... it's like a bunch of really talented artists got together and painted a beautiful, revealing, incredibly lifelike painting— but there's a tear in the canvas! I guess... I guess I'd just like to discuss that part of the quote in more depth, since you guys are clearly so "on it." (By "on it," I mean: not nearly enough people are noticing the intersecting homophobia and misogyny, but you guys are. You're all clearly way past the 101 level, and I can't tell you what a relief it is.) I humbly ask to join this convo, if you'll have me.

And again, I sincerely apologize for barging in like this; for some reason this Mayer thing has got me all het up and crazy!

karinova 5 pts

Eeek. Please forgive me (everyone)!

I was afraid that might come off oddly; it was late at night and I was upset. I TOTALLY hear the criticisms in the thread, and I agree with them! Really, that whole long screed was for the OP's author, not so much the commenters. (I actually would have preferred to email it to her personally, but, no address.)

I pretty much agree with the whole thread. I was reacting specifically to the fourth and fifth  paragraphs of the original post (immediately after the "hood pass" quote)— and especially the first sentence of the sixth paragraph:

What concerns me is that the reflexive response of some will be to automatically brand Mayer as a racist and demand apologies for using the N-word when some useful discussion, especially during BHM, could come from this.

Maybe I'm just misunderstanding it myself, but something about that sentence hit me the Wrong Way. That whole section looked to me like an accurate— but strangely incomplete, considering all the other right-on insights— interpretation of that quote. Yes, he was acknowledging his privilege, but the OTHER part of what he said there didn't get parsed, and in my (very humble!) opinion, it's REALLY important to understanding why people are so upset about it. It's not simply a "reflexive response" to the n-word being "a firestarter." That part of the quote TOTALLY undermined the positive part of what he said. But it seemed to me the positive part is all that got noted, before moving on to his (absolutely disgusting, and IMO, racism-tinged) sexism. (Which is barely getting any attention in the blogosphere.)

And the only reason I even reacted so strongly— strongly enough to register!— is that I've been seeing such utter FAIL everywhere in regards to this topic, and it was such a relief to see a discussion that hadn't fallen into the fail-hole. It was like, " Thank god, FINALLY! Some people who GET IT!" But then I was really startled by that part of the post, especially the "what concerns me" sentence. Amidst everything else, it seemed almost  like... I don't know, chastisement?... I don't even know what. I can't quite explain it.

I dunno. Sorry. I REALLY apologize. I wouldn't normally barge in like this, and I certainly don't want to come off like a smartypants "blacksplaining" things. I can see that I'm among allies here, so I don't want to alienate anyone. Maybe I should have phrased my comment more in the form of a question: does anyone agree with my interpretation (both of Mayer's quote)? Does anyone think it's odd that that part of it wasn't explained/noted in the OP? Is it just me, or is there something weird about that sentence (blockquoted above)?

blkbird77 5 pts

Dear Ms Niles

I was definitely one of hopefully many ex-John Mayer fans of colour taking to twitter to state they were done with this guy. I have listened to him inch over to the edge far longer than i would  let any friend do, some say he is just who he is, well, my mom taught us to think before we speak; i am not saying that human beings make mistakes but he has taken advantage of his charm and sway in the entertainment business. i will venture to say that he knows that this should all go away esp if he gives a couple of great concerts etc. 

 and btw while i am happy you decided to write about this topic, it is with great saddess to even see the N-word in written form.

thank you

Nordette Adams 6 pts

Because you said, "I’m... confused? concerned?... that so many people who seem sincere and like they “get it” would comment on this post," then I guess I don't understand what you've said here. I think the first comment on this post ( http://www.blogher.com/john-mayer-playboy-should-w... ) addresses the problems with the "nigger pass" comment and does not give John a pass.  The first comment takes issue with the "pass" as well as the comment that follows ( http://www.blogher.com/john-mayer-playboy-should-w... ) Maria's response to the first. The comment specifically mentions a willingness of some people to give him a pass on saying the "n" word and takes it further by addressing an unwillingness to call him "racist" despite all the signs he is racist in terms of what the word "racist" actually means. 

The comments also mention that "romanticizes black struggle" which is what is done in Avatar/DancesWithWolves scenarios.

Others in comments address many disturbing issues throughout Mayer's interview in comments. And later in comments Marie explains why she addressed the "n" word specifically. She did so because that's what she was asked to do. 

What I'm surprised about, after reading some comments on Twitter and elsewhere, is the number of people who fault the interviewer.  Mayer is the one who started rolling with "That's why black people love/like me" and his comments about black people "like very" is what starts him rolling into the pit of no return on African-Americans specifically.

The "black people like very" comment is as old school racist as it gets. So much like "black people are so spiritual" or black people are sensual" or "blackies have natural rhythm statements" from way back in America's history of "I'm not really a racist" because I think I appreciate/understand something about black people type statements. People got so focused on the "n" word, that folks respond to like Pavlov's dog, that it became about his using the word rather than all the other indicators that John Mayer's an ass.

Walking into a long thread and making a broad statement about what you think was missed in comments and to adopt a stance that you are the only person with clarity is rarely a good idea.  I'd only do that if everyone was agreeing with the author of the post and I was first one to disagree.  The only other time I might do it is if I were the only black person responding on a post where people assume they understand blackness.

Define Your Racist ( http://bigsole.blogspot.com/2010/02/define-your-ra... ).

Nordette Adams ( http://www.bookotopia.com ) is a BlogHer CE ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... ) & you can find her other stuff through Her 411 ( http://her411.com ).

karinova 5 pts

@JeneeD ( http://twitter.com/JeneeD ),

I totally agree. He sure as hell doesn't get a pass from me! In fact, dude is dead to me; I don't care what lame apology he wants to offer. This was a fistful of last straws. The "hood pass" comment was like a smug, obnoxious child trying to piss you off/test you: if there were such a thing as a hood pass, and he had one, he'd have gotten away with that comment, right??! Jackass.* 

I just couldn't let the far-too-kind interpretation in the OP stand uncorrected. 

And for the record, he ain't cute! At all. Super greasy and creepy. Even when he first came on the scene with that "Body is a Wonderland" song, I was like, Eww. Dunno why. There is (and has always been) something so pervy about that guy.

_____

*Which reminds me: why doesn't Mayer have a Kanye West-like reputation? I don't like his music either, but HE gets a pass from me— possibly for life— for that George Bush/Katrina outburst. Now THAT was some isht that needed to be said.)

Jenee D 5 pts

If John Mayer, wasn't a cute, talented, celebrity musician, but some everyday white guy who made these comments, people wouldn't be trying to break down the meaning of his words. More than likely they would immediately call him a racist, sexist or homophobe. He dropped the f-bomb, n-bomb and disrespected women.  NO he doesn't get a pass from me.

karinova 5 pts

@Maria ( http://twitter.com/Maria ) and all:

I’m sorry to barge in, but there’s a huge problem with this post/thread and I don’t know, I just... I cannot let this stand.

You completely— completely!— misinterpreted Mayer’s “hood pass” comment.

In his favor.

Mayer said:

Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?”— and by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass?— But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”

He is saying two things. First of all, yes: he’s answering what it feels like to have a “hood pass”— and, yes, he is acknowledging his privilige there, by saying, “well, that’s a nice notion and all, except, I can never have the true ‘hood’ experience [ie: experience racial  marginalization].” He’s right, and I appreciate that 1) he’s at aware of that and understands that it matters, and that 2) acknowledging that is what comes to his mind when asked that question! That’s actually pretty heartening, taken by itself. HOWEVER.

That is not all he said. At all. And I’m... confused? concerned?... that so many people who seem sincere and like they “get it” would comment on this post and not notice the rest of what he said there— or at least, I assume they didn’t notice, because no one took issue with your very kind interpretation. Hmm. I hope that doesn’t come off as insulting or pedantic. I just thought you’d want to know that you’re (somehow) missing something really important here. [Two things, actually, because... well, let’s face it: it’s probably not a coincidence that your interpretation lets Mayer off the hook for what, IMO, is the most offensive quote from that interview. The kyriarchy will seep in through any crack.] 

Let me clarify. While answering the actual question, Mayer interrupts himself to make a completely different point:

[‘Hood pass’ is] sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a ‘nigger pass.’ Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass?

What he’s saying is: If I truly had a hood pass— if you really accepted me— then you wouldn’t be using the sanitized term “hood pass,” you’d be using the real term— the term homies use among homies: “nigga pass.” 

That’s all kinds of problematic.

IMO, considering that this statement— and to be clear, it’s actually a whole bunch of statements packed into two sentences— is inserted right in the middle of an acknowledgement of white privilege, it’s even more offensive that it would have otherwise been— after all, this kind of asshattery is nothing new for him. It's not simply “John Mayer said the n-word [again]; let's pile on, cuz that's a bad word!” It’s more than that, at least for me. There’s a lot going on, there specifically, and throughout the interview.

For one thing, his desire to go all Avatar/Dances With Wolves/Last Samurai on the black community is more than a little creepy. Even as he alludes to the fact that the entire concept of a “hood pass” obscures white privilege (and therefore supports and appeals to it), he implies that he wants a “real” one! It’s fetishy and distasteful. Big time alarm bells. For another, what’s up with his reasoning that black women don’t “throw themselves at him” because he doesn’t “open himself up to it”? Right, of course: that’s the only possible reason. Because, what doesn’t he control? Mmm! Smells like white male supremacy!

Anyway.

My main point is, that “hood pass” quote is key and the offensiveness isn’t just about the use of the n-word per se. Do you see the issue any differently now? I don't want to run on into tealdeer land, but I can explain the problem(s) I see with this interview more explicitly if you like.

I hope you (or someone) replies...

--karinova

Jenee D 5 pts

I disagree with you Maria. You can see why on my blog Cocoa Fly where I send him a denial letter of his hood status here ( http://cocoafly.blogspot.com/2010/02/john-mayers-h... ).

People are talking about how he disrespected Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson. Which he absolutely did. But I've heard little criticism of his grotesque comments about actress Kerry Washington.

brownstocking 5 pts

...and I was creeped out about how he referred to his band. I think that's when I clicked on the X in the corner. He doesn't get it, because he can't talk about it, and it, as we've all agreed, is bigger than one word.

Uppity and proud since 1974.

Maria Niles 5 pts

I forget that not everyone lives their life on the internet ;) I'm sure that many were just cheering because he was talking and making some vague comments about growing up and the band members supporting him.

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Rita Arens 7 pts

I think they are just screaming because he is talking to the crowd for so long. At one point he said, "Do you want me to keep talking?" and they screamed. And I thought, "Good Lord, this is why he'll never learn."

Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy ( http://surrenderdorothy.typepad.com ) and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak ( http://tinyurl.com/9pg62e ). She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

Nordette Adams 6 pts

That was a long interview and unless his fans follow his every move, they may not have even read the interview.

Nordette Adams ( http://www.bookotopia.com ) is a BlogHer CE ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... ) & you can find her other stuff through Her 411 ( http://her411.com ).

Maria Niles 5 pts

Rita posted the video of the apology in the comments below. I absolutely agree that the cheering was disturbing. I get why the audience has to feel good about it in order to justify their presence. And no doubt there are going to be some women who will read the interview and just want to fantasize about and be with him more and men who will hope to emulate him. But not only is their cheering unsettling, I think you are correct - it will only delay or prevent any ability for him to realize that his issues are much bigger than being creepy or insufficiently clever.

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brownstocking 5 pts

Hi, Womanis Musings and The Black Snob are ones I definitely would have sent, but you have them. Thank you for that.

Did you see his apology ( http://www.theqside.com/2010/02/11/john-mayers-apo... ) last night? I think I was more disturbed by the women cheering it on then his choking up. He called himself a creep. It's bigger than that.

Uppity and proud since 1974.

Anali 5 pts

I read the interview yesterday, then started seeing all the tweets and was just horrified. I was never a fan, but I did love the song Daughters.  Listening to the words, it seemed like a man who really understood, respected, admired, and liked females. There seemed to be an almost reverence. 

Wow. Was I wrong.  It doesn't even seem possible that he wrote those lyrics given his actual feeling towards women. He disrepected so many women in that interview. I don't think he even understands the amount of disrespect and damage that he has meted out.

I could go on, but just thinking about this overwhelms me with so much negativity that it makes me feel physically ill. I think I've made my point.

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brownstocking 5 pts

I voted!

Uppity and proud since 1974.

Maria Niles 5 pts

That is the smartest thing he said. I doubt he could have avoided saying something, but it was still so whiny and self-indulgent. I am glad for his band that they are still able to work but John Mayer is doing himself no favors by continuing to try and explain and gain sympathy. How about something like "I was wrong. I am sorry. After I honor my contract and play some music I am going to work on learning and growing."

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Maria Niles 5 pts

I think you are not alone in that feeling, Treina. I doubt that if I was a fan and had any of his music that I could continue to listen after reading that. It seems impossible to reconcile the guy who wrote "Daughters" with the person in the interview. Really sad.

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.

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Maria Niles 5 pts

Thanks so much for your comment, Laina. And, while I agree that Nordette's comments were great, I hope at some point you will share your take and perspective.

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Maria Niles 5 pts

Thank you so much for posting this link, Nordette. I really appreciate the opportunity to read her reaction.

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TreniaP 5 pts

I absolutely love John Mayer’s music and I think he’s a pretty talented guy, but I don’t think I can in good conscience continue to listen to his music. I’m not able to compartmentalize and separate my thoughts about someone’s art and their politics. For me, it’s the equivalent of saying Hitler was a brilliant painter. I don’t know John Mayer personally and I don’t know the motives behind what he said, but it really does not matter. I have no doubt his career will continue to soar and he will continue to create great music and treat women badly then talk about her once the relationship ends, but I think he’ll have one less fan.
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Nordette Adams 6 pts

Here's an excerpt. I saw her note on Twitter. She begins talking about how it was first told her simply as something like "John Mayer thinks you're fine" and she was flattered.

And so it began. This wouldn’t be just any Wednesday, y’all.

 I decided to chat about it-I thought harmlessly -with funny/talented E! Online blogger and HollyRod Foundation supporter Marc Malkin about how I was “flattered” and “levitating” over the fact that a sexy young rock star would give this carpoolin’ mom of four a shout-out. Totally cute item, right? Not so fast. When Marc asked me what I felt about the tone of rest of the article- I said… “uh I haven’t read it”. (Oops #1) Then he quoted me the now infamous “David Duke package” passage… “Oh Damn…No-he-di’-int!” I thought.  But being an @johncmayer ( http://twitter.com/johncmayer ) twitter follower I’d grown accustomed to and often amused by his unpredictable, sometimes crass yet insanely witty observations. Admittedly this one caught me of guard and still not clear on the context, I said something like “Well I’m glad I came out on the good end with a positive quote” (Oops #2) smh…

I then head to shoot a PSA for the avocado industry with an aim to help the First Lady with her new mission to fight childhood obesity. While in hair and make up, I pull up the Mayer article on my iPhone -not the excerpts from HuffPo this time- but the entire thing and I start scrolling on what is quite possibly one of the longest interviews ever published and …well… there is was… The dreaded N-word. Lord Have Mercy…Mayer drop an N-Bomb and it jumped off the page hitting me in the face like a giant flying elephant!

It’s the biggest no-no of them all and coupled with the White Supremacist “privates” comments it dawns hard on me that by gushing in public about a compliment by one of my fave artists in this article filled with offenses I look like I am giving him some sort of “free pass” just cause he said I was cute! Ugh! The whole picture became so vivid. And it began to scare the mess out of me.

(She goes on to say that she doesn't think he's racist but lacks filters)

... at times he sounded almost certifiable he isn’t a racist…by using ill advised racially inflammatory sexual metaphors he foolishly picked a fight with a demographic you don’t wanna mess with: African American Women. But by tweeting he likely wasn’t racist (oops#3 and counting) and for seemingly mounting a defense for his racial insensitivities I got twitter-slapped by my peers and labeled a “Mammie”. And after 25 years in the business that’s a first for my resume. (Read the full post here ( http://www.hollyrod.org/#/hollys-blog/4538865548 ))

Nordette Adams ( http://www.bookotopia.com ) is a BlogHer CE ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... ) & you can find her other stuff through Her 411 ( http://her411.com ).

Maria Niles 5 pts

jsmooth's video is an all time favorite. Thank you so much for adding it, Nordette. And I am so sorry I missed your parentheses in your first comment and misunderstood your response.

And I know you aren't calling me out on this but I think I need to clarify because I think there is some confusion - posing the headline as a question doesn't mean that my answer is yes. And honestly I only saw one retweet of someone who even suggested he is not a racist. What I did see was a lot of reaction along the lines of "John Mayer used the N-word, therefore he is a racist!" (along with plenty of more nuanced discussion). And so I really, really appreciate the context and discussion you've added here.

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Maria Niles 5 pts

It is really helpful to have your perspective as a (former) fan, Maria. Thank you.

In his tweets he sounded like someone that had the wind taken out of their sails and understood the harm they'd done, but he only apologized for the use of that word. And there were SO many things wrong in that interview - it doesn't even touch it.

And I really think you hit on something here. I hope he takes more away from all this beyond just never saying the N-word again. And he owes apologies for much more than that. I hope he groks that.

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Maria Niles 5 pts

It is jaw dropping and mind boggling that he was so incapable of grasping the overwhelming narcissism of his comments beyond expressing a bit of concern for how Jennifer Aniston would feel reading his comments about her and his love of sex with Jessica Simpson.

I can only hope that this manages to break him out of his own orbit. Selfishly, it makes me really glad that I was never a fan. I feel no sadness in ignoring him.

Thanks for your comment, Rita.

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Maria Niles 5 pts

Thank you Rita, Erin, Laurie, Nordette and Elisa. I'm taking some of the reaction to this post as a much needed reminder that I need to write this stuff up in one consolidated place. As much as I take umbrage at having to defend and justify my blackness, I get why without context some of what I say and write can seem puzzling.

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lainad 5 pts

I'm so glad you wrote this post (and so glad I checked before I started writing today). I'm not going to add anything but just to say I agree wholeheartedly with Nordette, as usual.

Contributing Editor - Race, Ethnicity & Culture

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Maria Niles 5 pts

Glamagal, thank you for commenting and I would welcome the opportunity to listen to how you believe I've oversimplified and what I've presumed. I always appreciate constructive critique, even if it is tough.

However, you are essentially telling me that I've done those things and that I don't have authority to write in the first place.

I don't understand why my quoting of Mayer's use of the N-word is offensive and should have been edited out. I will apologize for offending you as it certainly was not my intention. It would be helpful for me, though, if you could explain a bit more as to why it was offensive.

I don't believe I have (nor need) authority to write about racism. What I wrote was not offered as authoritative, definitive or exhaustive, it is my point of view on one aspect of Mayer's interview. I welcome disagreement with that point of view.

I was asked to write about Mayer's use of the N-word and thus that is the focus of my post. I did not ignore Mayer's sexism and denigration of black women but did not explore those issues and rather just touched on them which, though it does not mean that I was asserting that one issue is more important than the other, I can see how it might have been implied. However, I linked to several other writers who wrote at greater length about those aspects of Mayer's interview and I hope you will check them out.

As to the remainder of your concerns, I gather that you believe that I am a white outsider with fake liberalism and therefore not the right person to write about the topic. Again, I welcome and encourage any specific criticism you have about what I wrote. However, I don't believe that my race or your assumptions about my political perspective qualify me or disqualify me from writing about topics dealing with race. For what it is worth however, despite my fair skin, I am black and I have studied and written about issues of race for decades. Please do disagree with me forcefully, vehemently and vocally but I will not accept a demand of silence.

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Elisa Camahort 5 pts

I was trying to find those links to Maria's family history and was seriously off the mark.

Thanks Nordette.

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Nordette Adams 6 pts

Maria is a sister and seriously identifies. 

Roots ( http://www.blogher.com/node/19987#comment-20579 ) (from a comment by Maria in 2007)

One thing that I think is sad is that in this day and age of TiVos, DVDs and YouTube kids will never again experience the power of the entire country coming together for a week, sharing the experience as a family and learning about our history the way we did when Roots aired. It is still one of the most watched television events ever and a powerful childhood memory for me.

I am shocked and disturbed to read that there are those who would claim that Roots (and even the institution of slavery itself) was fradulant.

Regarding Alex Haley - my Aunt, Mary Ellen Butler ( http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Pieces+of+a+dream-a0... ), a journalist and
"believed to be the first black woman to head an editorial page of a major daily in the United States" traveled with Alex Haley to Ghana on one of his research trips so he certainly did do some original research.

Also, a few bits of my family history provide a bit of evidence that slavery was very real and family histories can be proven through historical record.

First, my Great-Great-Great Grandparents William and Ellen Craft ( http://www.georgiaencyclopedia.org/nge/Article.jsp... )escaped from slavery and documented their escape ( http://docsouth.unc.edu/neh/craft/menu.html ). Academics such as Dr. Barbara McCaskill ( http://www.radcliffe.edu/fellowships/current/bio.p... ) still research their history today.

Also, my Great-Great Uncle William Monroe Trotter ( http://www.answers.com/topic/william-monroe-trotte... ) is a descendant of slaves at Thomas Jefferson's Monticello. The descendents of families enslaved at Monticello (including Sally Hemmings) have in recent years been recognized ( http://www.monticello.org/gettingword/GWann.html ) and my family has been invited to a"family reunion" ( http://monticellocommunity.com/ ) there this summer.

I am certain there will always be those who seek to deny the shameful aspects of history (like the Holocaust) but written and oral records and now DNA prove them wrong.

That's her comment from my post years ago on Roots Anniversary ( http://www.blogher.com/node/19987 ).  Having grown up in New Orleans ( http://www.examiner.com/x-7666-New-Orleans-Literat... ) with so many different shades of black people, I've learned not to assume ethnicity based on skin color, eye color or hair texture.  "It's not what people call you. It's what you answer to."  :-)

Nordette Adams ( http://www.bookotopia.com ) is a BlogHer CE ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... ) & you can find her other stuff through Her 411 ( http://her411.com ).

Maria Niles 5 pts

The only thing I can think is that he has nobody around him to speak the truth nor call him on his shit. Not unusual for the rich and famous. Perhaps all the deserved blowback he is getting in the wake of this interview will push him to really take a hard look at himself.

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Maria Niles 5 pts

Thank you for your comment, brownstocking. I agree that the interviewer was problematic and complicit. He clearly was trying to egg on John Mayer's nonsense but, ultimately, Mayer has to own his responses and words.

And, I'm sorry the poll frustrated you. I did not write it so unfortunately I cannot give more nuanced options. But I appreciate you giving some insight into how you would have answered if given the option.

I was writing here specifically focused on Mayer's use of the N word but absolutely there is so much more worth taking on in discussion. I linked to some of what I found early on as I was writing this but I would be very interested to read anything of yours or others you know of if you have links to share.

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Nordette Adams 6 pts

I know some people see the word racist as a name you call people to express outrage and so have a knee jerk response to it the same way people have a knee jerk response to the word "nigger." But no matter how forcefully I may present the word "racist," I don't see it any worse than saying someone is sexist.

The word "racist," because of hate groups, has come to mean more the equivalent of the word bigot as in it's associated with extreme hate and intolerance. People think racist is to race as wife-beating misogynist is to woman or Nazi is to Jew. That, however, is incorrect. Racist is to race as sexist is to woman, which is why "hatred or intolerance of another race or other races" is number three on the definition of "racist" not number one.

We've done an exceptional job of making people feel guilty and afraid to be called racist, to get all wound up in knot if th word is uttered against them, and by extension to fear examining whether what they do or think is racist the same way the devoutly religious are afraid sometimes to acknowledge they've felt lust or anger. Instilling that fear was probably necessary to make some of the strides in Civil Rights that we've made, but now it's time to grow up and understand what the word "racist" means. Only then will we have any chance of stepping into the mythic land of Post-Racial America.

I think the word "nigger" is far more offensive a word than "racist," btw, because in the mouths of white people it was used define black people as inferior and abhorrent. However the origins of the word mean no such thing.

Racist, however, means what it means, that you think your race is superior to another, which is why white supremacist are called racist. That belief, while some of us may appear to have overcome it because we've been taught it's immoral, remains embedded in the subconscious. All day long Americans are given messages that whiteness is superior, and yet we would prefer to believe that people don't absorb those messages and act like we don't know racism when we see it or hear it.

So, folks giving Mayer a pass on saying that word (I'm not saying you did that), those suggesting that to call him "racist" is somehow incorrect and who ignore that Mayer, like any human on the planet, most likely has racist views somewhere in his young psyche, shows how dysfunctional we've become on addressing the matter of race in America.

I think we'd get farther in our discussions of race if we all agreed that racist is a legitimate identification for certain behaviors and a significant ugly influence on American culture, not by trying to regulate who may and may not be called a racist even when the people make statements that reveal racist thinking. How will the individual examine the self to see if it has surpassed racism if it fears using the label "racist"?

I don't like tossing the word "racist" under the label of name calling. Before long we'll have another "R" word and be chastised for calling, dare I say, "a spade a spade" or in this case "a heart a heart." 

Yes, yes. Mayer's young and all that, which I said in my piece at my own blog, which is why I think he should get a time out. Perhaps if his fans let up off buying his music for a while, he'll mature faster and stop saying stupid stuff that goes in print. Better yet, perhaps in a time out he'll examine what motivated him to say it, and if he sees that what motivated his speech is the racist corner of his own mind, then he'll be doing himself a far better service than anyone who wants to pat him on the head and say There, there. It's okay."

I believe strongly that each person is responsible for his or her own heart. I only get truly fretful over racism when it influences public policy and job hiring practices. Under those circumstances or when people say stupid stuff to my face. And then, I may not be fretful as much as I am confused that anyone be brave enough to say it to me specifically.

Nevertheless, I will post again a video someone told me about on one of my posts on race because I think it offers a good lesson in teaching people how to avoid racist behavior that we all know reveals a racist mindset. The guy makes the point that usually we don't get anywhere calling the person a racist. Uh, if your goal is to teach, then that's true. If you goal is to let off steam at ignorance, well ...

And that's about all the patience I have for coddling white people and worrying about how badly they may feel when I tell them they just asserted something that made them sound like jack asses. If I decide to join a racial reconciliation committee, I'll throw some more sugar on tongue, until then ...

BTW, I think I acknowledged in parentheses in my first comment that I know you did not say Mayer respected black people. The question I ask is "Can you disrespect black people in the way he has and yet escape the label "racist"? Should we suggest he escape?

Nordette Adams ( http://www.bookotopia.com ) is a BlogHer CE ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... ) & you can find her other stuff through Her 411 ( http://her411.com ).

Julie Ross Godar 5 pts

... to include your answer. And then voted for it. I also added a write-in field (which PollDaddy is forcing the label "Other" on for some reason) as well. This guy (and that interviewer, you're right) -- unbelievable.

Honeybeast, aka Julie Ross Godar, is the managing editor of BlogHer.