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Our anonymous Man On The Fence has chosen his topic, and is making his second guest appearance.
I read his post while waiting in line to pay yesterday at Walmart. I bawled my eyes out.
Here he is, our very own Guest Blogger, Man On The Fence…
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As a single dad who patronized his wife, loved her, cared for her and protected her from the daily insanity of life’s craziness, I thought the joys of divorce would be a great way to connect those women, who truly don’t accept, appreciate and recognize how blessed they are.
I was married for over twelve years to a woman that I loved with all my heart and soul for many years before. In fact, I told her on our very first date that I was going to marry her! For all the reasons that make no sense, she felt there was something more in life, something missing from what we can both now attest to, was a wonderfully loving and nurturing union.
For years I struggled with the normal issues of life; bringing up the kids, being a good provider, committed family man and friend, and yet she was always there. She was a constant. She stuck by me in the worst possible times of my life, staying up late at night, throughout the night, watching me toil from stress, but always there… oh what a feeling to know that there was always someone there.
Now after close to three years of being apart, I have less of a need for that, more of a desire for that, but have come to count my blessings for how fortunate I am that my life is the way it is. We share the children equally, with the notion that they are hopefully deriving the best from both parents. There is no contest of pulling and pushing, just a complete commitment on both our behalves to truly put each other first, so that the children can reap the benefits of having two parents who adore them, love and respect one another, and care for them as they did when we were married.
By showing such consideration for our whole family, my ex-wife is held in high esteem by all of us. While my children witness countless friends’ parents battling to make life miserable for one another, my kids constantly mention and appreciate the peaceful transition we have made for them during this major life change.
Surely nothing is ideal in a situation like this. Surely I want my children full time. However, they do have a loving, caring and wonderful mom that they deserve to grow with and learn from. I couldn’t have done this without my ex buying into the option that divorce sucks, but there is such a thing as a “Good divorce!”
So what are the joys divorce? Well firstly, while you can pay for a good education, or spoil your kids with all sorts of monetary possessions, leading by example and teaching your children how to be good human beings with good values, are indispensable gifts for life. Divorce provides you with the opportunity to teach those life lessons perhaps sooner
