My girlfriend is also my business partner, so we often have balance problems and work too much because we like most of our work.  One solution to righting the imbalance is we take at least four mini-honeymoons each year, weekends at the beach usually, where no work is allowed.  Getting out of town seems to help us regenerate.

Deb
www.debontherocks.com blog
www.3smartgirlz.com consulting

Let's create a new term  - "working homemaker" -  an all emcompassing term for someone who works for wages, does their own cleaning, lawn care, cooking, shopping, child care, homework, etc. all the things that support your life.   Don't forget all the extras - helping a friend now and then, helping your extended family of parents, siblings, etc.  Yikes! It's enough to cause an anxiety attack. So, here's what I do to help balance and get it all done:

 Realistic to-do lists:   Make one each day, include the things you MUST do that day.  Be realistic.  List no more than 5 things with a few alternates. If you get them done then go on to the alternates.  

Delegate:  This is especially important at work; delegate what you can.   If something is not your responsibility, if no one suffers because it doesn't get done, don't do it.   If your kids have a chore(s); DO NOT DO IT for them. Use your parenting skills to ensure they do their part - that's another commentary on another blog....

Use "no" but graciously.   If the boss asks whether you can take on another task; ask for her/his help to decide what falls off your list to enable enough bandwidth to get the new item done.    It comes down to being realistic about what you can and can't get done.  

Set limits:  Tell co-workers that you MUST leave on time each day, that extra work must be planned in advance.  Set the expectation that you work like crazy at the office but once you're gone, you're unavailable.   If you work at home, be disciplined about your time and stop when you must. Don't be tempted to squeeze in an extra couple of hours of work late at night and give up a couple of hours of sleep.  We all put in extra time but it should be an exception not the norm; sleep it too important to give it up on a regular basis. 

 Lynn PO

www.help-4-mom.blogspot.com elder care blog

Since both of us are busy and neither one of us has figured out how to win the "my life is more stressful than yours" battle. We have come to the agreement that on Wednesday night he gets to go out and do whatever he wants (within reason of course) and i'm not allowed to interrupt or make fun of whatever he decides to do. Normally he chooses to go play basketball with a friend and go to a movie afterwards.

Thursday night is MY night. As soon as he walks in the door I get to walk out and do whatever I want. No questions asked. Some nights I hang out in Starbucks with my laptop. Other nights I try on a hundred pairs of designer jeans and eat multiple cinnabons.

Knowing that we each get our escape calms us down a lot towards each other and makes hard weeks much more bearable knowing we will at least get a few hours to ourselves to be completely selfish.

Casey Mullins

http://mooshinindy.com 

As a single mom, trying to balance work/social/youth activities is especially challenging. My daughter's father is not a part of her life at all, so we do the best we can with just the two of us.

 I work full time and my daughter goes to school full time. She is 12, and entering 7th grade, so we are very busy with school and youth group activities. I also serve on the council of her youth group, and we travel around Michigan quite a bit for youth group events.

I put alot of effort into making up to her for not having her father in her life as well, so sometimes I get really stressed out when I can't make the time to do the things she wants to do. Telling her "no" is very difficult for me.

However, the best advice I've forced myself to follow is to sometimes say "no" and to remember to take time out once a week for "me time" to re-group! 

Terri C Brower

I don't have a particularly stressful job as I teach. It's time consuming, but not stressful. My husband on the other hand is the main network admin for a company with 5 locations, so his is not only stressful at times, he's on call 24/7. He has that stupid blackberry in hand everywhere.. We've had to agree that during dinner, there's no checking of e-mail, and the phone goes on silent at night except for one emerngecy contact.  He forces himself to leave by 5, so that we can spend some time together, this allows me time to come home, grade and plan for tomorrow all before he gets home. So when he walks in the door - we can focus on each other. 

We each get our own time when we're working out or exercising, because 'me' time is important for both of us.  He likes to work out in the yard or bike, and I prefer to lay out with a book or walk the track, either way, we allow ourselves and each other that time for personal balance. 

We're planning to get pregnant so while this balancing act works for us now, things will quickly be shifting.  

We've always worked hard to keep communication open, so rather than whinying that one of us is feeling neglected or ignored, we just voice it in regular breakfast conversation, and we dont offend the other person and we make changes.  It's a great level we're at right now. 

- Susan
thindependence.com
Our 2 cents on getting healthy!

I think sometimes the key thing in a relationship to remember is that it is the relationship that needs to be protected, not each individuals "fair share"... sometimes that requires giving more than 50%...

I think "balancing" isn't always a balance--I can't always give my best to every part of my life. So I take some time to think about what my true priorities are; for me that's my husband and friends, and personal/career goals like excelling at my job and laying the groundwork for a writing career. Then I use my priorities as a touchstone--is what I'm doing right now furthering one of my priorities? If not, I rethink my activities and my time with that in mind.

Lisa

www.runlazy.com

Taking pride in being a lazy runner.

There's probably a better balance now that my husband works more often from home. It's a bit easier for him to see that there's a whole other family life going on, one that's interesting and beckoning to him. Fortunately, corporate life has changed over the past 25+ years. On the other hand, his travel schedule means that when he's gone, he's really out of touch. Phoning or emailing every day helps keep the connection going.

expateek

http://expateek.blogspot.com 

My husband (an artist) and I work together (we have an open art studio/gallery/school). Because we spend time together at work and at home, alone time is critical.

Useful for me also is to not spend time working (gallery work) on my days off, making sure I have adequate breaks, and pursuing interests that are non-work related (fitness, spirituality, etc.).

I think a big key is letting go of notions you have and some of the control.  If you and hubs share kitchen duty but the last 4 times YOU did the dishes because he let them sit around for a couple of days, just let go.  Let them sit around and once he gets to them, let that be that.  Don't chastize him or hound him.  Once he picks up the habit, maybe he'll do them faster, maybe not.  But he does things at his pace, not yours.  Because he is your husband NOT your kid or your maid.

The work/life balance isn't so much about balance as it is about finding a way to enjoy everything that you do.  I know that sounds easier said than done, but hear me out.  I don't want to live my life in a 50/50 "work" vs. "life" juxtaposition.  Life is too fleeting to only be happy 50% of the time, and, let's face it, most of us associate the time we are "working" with unhappiness.  That does not slide with me. I have made the decision to be happy 100% of the time.  That does not mean that I do not work, do not have responsibilities and bills to pay; but I have changed my mindset. 

Whereas I used to dislike certain things about my job, I now focus on how much I enjoy my co-workers.  This means that when I get home at the end of the day, I am in positive spirits and ready to go for a run. This is key because negative sentiments are emotionally and physically draining.  They become a huge time-suck and steal time away from us that we can never get back!

If I come home happy, it’s easy for me to lace up those shoes and go for a run. The run then makes me happy because I have now fulfilled both my necessity to make money and my necessity to maintain an active lifestyle.  When I am studying for school, I am stressed but happy because I am fulfilling my need to stimulate my mind.  Having a positive attitude affords me the energy to make the time to do all of the things I need to do and at the end of the day nothing has really felt like work because I've enjoyed it so much.

I do make sacrifices, I do have bad days – but I approach life with this question ceaselessly lingering in front of me:  “How can I do what I need to do but do it so it makes me happy?” 

Of course, I am in a much different boat than all of you tireless and overworked mothers, as I am 25 and without children yet!  ;)

Like the importance of saying "no" sometimes, and of having separate alone time to recharge, and of being really clear on priorities.

And some great specifics, too.  Keep 'em coming!

BTW, I'm not eligible for giveaways, so don't let my frequent commenting on this thread freak you out. I'm not trying to game the giveaway odds (it's just one entry per person anyway) but am just here checking out the great ideas for work/life balance.

If what you do makes you miserable and consumes all you have, stop doing it. Life is long and it's never too late to start a new career.

I had no work/life balance in the Army. So I left.  I began law school at 38. It was terrifying, I had no safety net and very little money socked away, and jumped in with both feet.

I'm still in school, but have found bliss in the new career. My work/life balance has been restored, in that I live in my hometown again, surrounded by friends and family, and have the time to enjoy the company. I won't get plucked up and sent overseas for long stretches of time anymore. It's peaceful.

The Army gave me a lifetime of experience and knowledge that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.  The most important lessons, though, were 1) work/life balance is CRITICAL, and 2) while drastic change is difficult, if your gut tells you to do it, LISTEN. 

I balance my work and Life like this: I work at a Hospital so on my way to work on the Bus I listen to Music and when I come home I make my own jewelry and take a local free beading class on Wed Night. I also love to go to concerts. I try to balance my life the best that I can. I am Single too so no kids in my life but no Man either. Just me and my parakeets and my close friends to hang out with. A Quiet Life and I love it that way.

When my children were young I worked at the elementary school they attended so I could be more available to them and see them throughout the day.   During all of the years my children were growing up (they're grown & on their own now), I made sure my employers understood that my family obligations were the highest priority for me.  I only worked for employers who were in agreement with me about this issue.  For me, being a wife and mother has always been my most important job. 

Balancing work and life can be a difficult task! I find it easier when I have a set sleep schedule so I am well rested. Also it is important to eat healthy and plan meals in advance so that when I arrive home from work I have something nutritious ready and don't reach for the junk!

My husband and I jointly run an e-business from our studio apartment.  Our inventory swallows most of the apartment, and we are around each other constantly and our work is always around us. 

We find balance through celebrating the ordinary.

Morning coffee is a ritual for us.  The savoring of a mutual cup of coffee sets the tone for embracing our day, no matter what it brings.

Other moments we always take time out to enjoy are:  the arrival of our mail, an afternoon walk to the post office and library, and an early evening cup of tea.  I believe that finding balance is easy if you take the time to cultivate an appreciation for the luxurious subtleness of everyday life.

While working at my first job, an assistant at a fashion magazine, I made sure to make healthy choices and practice healthy habits from the day I started. I packed my own lunch or picked up something healthy. I listened to music and hung pictures over my desk of my family. I kept my desk neat. I didn't get overwhelmed by the demands of the job, and if I was feeling stressed, I didn't complain about it to everyone within earshot. This made the things in my life I am proud of (being healthy/laid back) a part of my work life, instead of a competition between the two things. People came to know me as a balanced individual.

To keep my work life out of my home life took more effort. I took to planning one fun weeknight event with my roommate--even if it was just seeing a movie after work--so I had something to look forward to. It made the week go faster, and sometimes, a drink or a walk with a friend mid-week is just what you need to feel less stressed and more confident! 

I hug my kids. I make a cup of tea. I breath deeply. I kiss my husband when he comes home from work. I sit outside in the breeze.  I push my baby in her swing. I walk. I smile. I pray. I tell myself I'm only one woman. The piles of dishes and laundry, the tall grass and errands don't seem as high a mountain as I sometimes think they are when I look in my babies eyes, when I sip my tea. When I just relax, and just live.  

~Besserina

http://www.besserina.blogspot.com

When I can see that my kids are wanting my attention because I've been running around working most of the morning, I'll stop what I'm doing and tell them that they may have one wish each and I'll grant it.  They usually go for "Play Candyland", "go swimming", or "bake cookies".  I'll do it.  Whatever it is.  We also have "yes" days.  I'll make an effort to say yes to most requests from the kids ALL DAY.  We've had some amazing time together.

My husband and I are in the unique situation that we're both stay-at-home-parents... by choice.  We sold our house and business in Los Angeles and moved back to Iowa to enjoy the kids at an age where we're able to still be influential on their lives.

But retiring before 40? How did we get here?  We took turns sharing the burden of work when the other needed to take a leap of faith at a new opportunity.  I worked while he honed computer skills that colleges weren't teaching yet.  He worked when we relocated and I got situated in the new house.  We both worked for a while then he took a break to pursue another option.  We both worked when he (we) decided to invest in the business.  He worked and I didn't when we finally started a family. 

We each took the weight when necessary and are now enjoying being a family 100% of the time and we'll look at returning to the workforce when the girls are both in school.  We couldn't have gotten here without the cooperation of the other.

Nicole
Personal Blog:  SAHM Ramblings
Review/Giveaway Blog:  SAHM Reviews

I try to balance workouts with everything else by looking at it as part of my "job".  And since I work part time from home, adding my home workouts as part of my job seems kind of natural for me. It also helps me a lot to schedule my workouts/themes ahead of time - giving me structure, yet leaving some options open. 

I like strength training a lot more than cardio, so I normally schedule my workout themes weeks (or months) in advance, and leave the cardio options open to what sounds enjoyable for that day/week. This way, I know what I'm doing for strength training, and can usually pick cardio workouts to complement the rest of the week. I also really enjoy planning out my rotations, so it's very satisfying for me to have a plan several months out.  :) 

Oh, and it turns out I like writing about/reviewing my workouts, so starting a blog has really helped with motivation, too! ;)

~Sara 

Check out what I'm up to in My Basement Gym!

In order to balance my life, I have to take time to remember to say YES.  Often I get caught up with "other" everyday life issuses and when my children ask me for things, I sometimes find myself saying NO way too much.  Sometimes, I have to stop myself and just say YES. 

Most recently my daughter asked if we could have a picnic.  The timing wasn't the best and I had tons of projects that needed wrapped up.  I started to say NO and then stopped and reminded myself, it is sometimes ok to say YES.  A picinc in the park was out of the question, I was way to busy, but a picnic in our backyard was doable.  Subway subs, fresh fruit, cheese and juice boxes, very doable and I had 3 happy children.

I am so thankful that I said yes, look at the memories I would have missed out on.