Just a crush...

My first crush...

When I saw the prompt I immediately had a name pop into my head. Then I started over thinking it. I wondered if my first crush was to be my literal FIRST crush or the first crush I ever had on an older guy. Does my 2nd grade crush count or should I write about my first legitimate crush...complete with a form of stalking..?? Well, here I am, 2 hours and many agonizing conversations in my head later...

I am going to write about my crush on Greg Martien. I know this is my first legit crush because it started in 3rd grade, peaked in 5th grade and in my sophomore year in high school, I still had that same swirly crush feeling when I saw him around the hallways of Columbian. Probably the most captivating thing about this crush is that I feel almost 100% sure he had no idea how nutso crushing I was on him. NO. IDEA.

Greg had amazing blonde hair. About a bazillion freckles and a smile that made his eyes just sparkle. He was all boy. Zero interest in me and yet so available for me to stare at daily. I am pretty sure he was in my 3rd grade class. Mrs. Mitten, at Krout. I have a recollection that I was not quiet about my deep love for Greg. I think I told everyone. I remember all the boys circling around the 2 of us and forcing Greg to kiss me on the cheek. That was on the playground, in 3rd grade. Nothing ever came of our "relationship" though, believe it or not.

In 5th grade I was friends with a gal who lived in Greg's neighborhood. When I would spend over at her house, we would walk by or ride our bikes by, Greg's house. Fully stalking poor Greg. If he was outside, he would be horrified at our bold, boldness. Mostly he would just go inside. Probably felt downright victimized. I was so obsessed with Greg that this friend of mine ended up liking Greg too. Why? Because I couldn't stop talking about how awesome he was. I basically sold her on his greatness?

In 8th grade, my friend, Cheryl, invited me and few other friends, to her sister's wedding. Well, Greg's sister was at the reception as well. I went up to her and told her about my mad crush that I carried for her brother. I begged her to tell Greg I said "hi", when she went home. She was older than me and I can still see that look on her face.....a combo of "you are a fool", and "why are you a fool?" Oh yes, good times, good times....

Well time went on...as it tends to...and you all already know that I was knee deep in love with Jeff, so Greg was no longer on my radar...

During my "breakup" from Jeff though...almost magically, Greg appeared in the hallway at school. We went to different junior high schools so sophomore year would have been the first time I would see him since 6th grade. He was around every corner at Columbian. My chest felt tight. My stomach was twirly. My crush was all mature and cute teenager-ish. Those freckles, those eyes....oh my.

I never said a single word to the guy. Never once. I was too afraid to break the spell. It was so much more exciting to just look at him and imagine.....

I wonder what would have happened if I spoke to him? Boys are so odd at that age. He probably didn't remember me as the stalking 5th grader. There has never been any mention of this guy since. I am sure he got married and has an entire full life. I do know that his sister was married to my friend's husband's brother. If I really wanted to know about Greg, there is a path to that information. If...

But I don't. Why ruin my fantastical crush with facts? Seriously.

My daughters have crushes. They are in 5th and 6th grade now. Many of their crushes are as unobtainable as mine was. Mostly because they are crushing on guys on TV, or in Music. It is the purest form of young love...crushes... and my preferred form for my daughters. Safe. Far away. Unobtainable.

I hope they have good crush experiences like I did. Oh yes, there are others...my technique never changed either...the harder I crushed, the more I spoke of it, until everyone was crushing on my crush....

I never learned that lesson....

Even now...everyone loves my man...although he does his own "press"....he learned from the best.

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