Just Keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming

Wow.  This remaining positive thing is hard.  I knew it would be.  I knew it would be the hardest thing I ever tried to do in my entire life, giving it all to God.  So...

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

I feel numbness. So I switched to doing something that I loved:  Cooking.  Happiness on vacation is a spam, egg and cheese sandwich that I never get to have because I am always trying to lose weight.  I have just a couple of days left on my vacation, so I am living it up until Saturday morning.  Gooey breakfast it is!

I took a bath today too.  Something I only get to do on the weekends or my days off.  I have heard that people don't take baths anymore.  Why?  They are wonderful things.  To sit and soke, to relax, to let your body settle and shrivel up into a prune.  Read a book while doing so is one of the purest pleasures on the face of the planet.  That is my one positive thing I am listing on my blog for today. 

I have set goals for myself to become more positive.  One is to say one positive thing a day on my blog.  The other is to create a Blessing Jar and write down one good thing that happens to me every single day, and at the end of the year on December 31st, I get to pull them all out and read them.  With that being said, I was reading my book today and there was a scene about a couple finding each other out for the first time.  I had to put it down.  My heart is still too raw.  One day I will be able to read about stuff like that again, but not today.

My positive thinking for today right at that moment is that I get to have a relationship with God.  I get to be with a God who will never leave me high and dry, who will always be there when I get home from work, whom I can take to lunch with me if I want, and whom will always love me.  Rinse.  Repeat.  Rinse.  Repeat...for as long as I need to keep telling myself that.  It is true.  I just have to believe it now.

So cheers for today.  Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...