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Hope E.N.D. = entirely new direction
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“Never Trust Anyone over 30”. Jerry Rubin
Karma will bitch slap you back into reality. . Remembering my hippie days and the mantra…Never Trust Anyone Over 30 as well as being part of the Apple crowd who boasted that the average manager’s age was 35 has come back to haunt me. I am 56 years old and the 20 somethings look at me as though I have horns coming out of my head. They see me as some old grandmother, you know judgemental, forgetful, slow…..
In 2001, the tech bubble burst. My company laid off 3600 people in one day. I was not overly worried, it had happened before. That was the nature of the industry. We never believed that it would happen At Apple but it did and I recovered nicely. My resume is loaded with accomplishment after accomplishment. I had been running a project in Argentina and Brazil when it fell apart. It was difficult to keep up with the news on the home front. Long work days and the longing to watch TV shows in English had me watching “Dawson’s Creek” and “The Nanny”. I am admitting my foolishness. Nortel fell apart and I wasn’t watching the real world at all. My stock was worthless. My 401K destroyed. Still, recovery was possible. Wasn’t it?
I had never thought of my age. It took a couple of years for me to understand that employers were looking away from me because of gender and age. I know, I know that in the USA such a thing is not supposed to happen. It just hits like a shot. You are called for interviews over and over but once the employer meets you, you find that you are out of the running. When the bubble burst, employers kept the young. They were cheaper employees. Now, I was interviewing with the very pups that I had hired and trained.
After working at Starbucks, substitute teaching and anything else I can do to keep the dogs fed and wolves from my door, I do have a job with possibilities. I find myself in the middle of a “good ole’ boys” group who has the nerve to tell me that not having women in management positions is not by design. Note: That is just paraphrasing for “women who can manage do not exist” After two years, I am making $25K less than I did in 1992. There can be upward movement here and I am going to MOVE.
Depression has set in, I have to crawl out. I have suffered this for 9 years and it shows. I have gained too much weight. My clothes are sloppy. My skin is gray. I am not taking care of myself and it shows.
Appearance does matter. I have never been pretty. I have been able to present myself as a professional. I cannot let anyone dismiss me as some old bag lady. I am hoping for support as I go forward with this blog. WE ARE GOING TO WHIP ME INTO SHAPE!
