Katy Perry (and I) took a Stairway to Heaven



Last week was lovely.

Our kids came for Thanksgiving.

They stayed 4 nights.

We ate turkey, and drank champagne, and made each other laugh.

We played board games and went to dinner out and watched holiday movies.

The house was humming, and happy, and whole.

Also, my mother came.


I love my mother.

She was the absolute center of my universe growing up.

She fought the monsters and kept me safe.

She influenced every good attribute I have.

She was a fairy princess.

Now, not so much.

Here is a list of things I now need to consider:

1)  I dress like one of those Judd women. (Not a clue people- not a clue).

2)  Why my hair doesn't look salon prepared ever day. 

3)  How I can possibly believe that I, alone, can grow anything in the winter. (It's zone 9 and the garden will go 'to bed' shortly, but whatever).

4)  I remind my mother of her mother-n-law (who she did not really like) because I sometimes tuck a tissue in my sleeve and like outdoor jackets that gather at the waist and keep a tidy linen closet. Also, I have a strange affinity for glass-fronted linen doors. My mother can see this clearly. Maybe she means the tidy linen?

5)  My grandmother's special butter rings don't look good. Yes, the taste is there, but the presentation is off.

6)  A good tip is $5 and anyone who receives one should be very grateful of the largesse. 

7)  That the Pepper Pike house wife fashion models of 60's Cleveland were posser's (my word- not hers), even though she was a Chagrin Falls house wife fashion model in the 60's.  

8)  My mother has always purchased real estate with primary consideration to the long-term financial outcome, which is interesting since she has only owned two houses in my lifetime and she still lives in the second one- outcome pending.

9)  Her interior decorating skills go way beyond the call of duty, as she often successfully solves marital problems and provides esoteric zen-like experiences for her clients to stretch out of their 'comfort zones'. She, on the other hand, wears basic black and has white walls. 

10) She thinks my blog is 'Pathetic'.

That's right folks, P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C. 

Never mind that she doesn't own a computer, has no access to the internet, doesn't know what a blog is, and has never read mine- it's 'pathetic'. 

I think she meant 'blogging' is pathetic- in general, and that makes up for it don't you think? 

Sweet Baby Jesus let me breath, smile, and take her gently by the elbow into the car for lunch in the Quarter without a quick trip by a crested levee on the river. 

Of course she always thought I should have been an international lawyer, or the CEO of Pepsi, or Anna Wintour's right hand whip.

As it was, after that aforementioned lunch in the Quarter, I insisted we walk around and wrap ourselves in the vibe of voodoo shops, world-class art galleries, and street performers.

Thank God these girls showed up with Katy Perry...

and helped me climb the 
Stairway To Heaven.

Tanya & Dorise
Instrumental Duets




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