Keep on keeping on.

There are mornings like today. 
I just do NOT want to get out of bed.  
The weight of the longest day of every week has hit and I just didn't want to face it.


It's not easy being a single mom.

Especially since you are made single by prison.

There is no 'this will end tomorrow' or 'he'll be home after work then I can rest'

That rest doesn't come until all the kids are in bed.

and even then true rest doesn't happen.

Not after you fight the fears of what may come in the night.

In the last 19 months I have dealt with a raid on my home waking me from sleep.

To waking to my car being on fire in my driveway in the middle of a deep sleep.

 

Fearing what may come when I'm not 'at watch' brings forth tossing and turning.

Having dreams of life with the hubs still at home brings the stark reality when morning comes.

Then  you hear the sweetest sounds of all.

Your children.
Awake for the day talking about breakfast taking care of their littlest sister all on their own.
Your children knowing that moms not awake yet (she hardly is up before us).
So they take care of themselves and sister till I do join them.
Knowing your children know this life is hard and they too make the best of every day.

Even if that means taking care of things to give momma break. 

So even when the days are long.j

The mornings come with sadness. I keep telling myself there is joy in the battle.

There is a reason to love. To laugh. To live.

It is in my children.
So today I keep on keeping on.
Today I get out of bed with a smile on my face. 

Because today my children taught me that there is a reason.

They are my reasons. 
 

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.

Trending Now

Recent Posts by MommaBean