The Key to a Long Lasting Relationship: CONTROL! ALT! ESCAPE! DELETE!--Ha, Not the Man but the Shortcuts!

 

Remember in my last blog when I said a wife strike doesn't have to be too dramatic, but it takes patience? If we want to experience success in obtaining longevity in relationships with a touch of personal happiness, we must establish various foundations that will result in happiness and peace of mind thus leading to longevity. One building block for longevity is patience. Patience is to longevity as a step is to a staircase, a room is to a house, and a key to a keyboard.

The point?

Control, Alt, Escape, Delete the shortcuts:

1. Control what happens in your relationship by thinking things through without being so quick to react.

2. Unlock alternate ways of doing things that will result in positive energy from both you, your companion, and the things and/or people in your extended family (friends and family members) that could possibly make or break your relationship.

3. Escape from negative things that cloud your mind, spirit, and heart.

4. Most importantly, DELETE, DELETE DELETE the crap, bull, haters, enemies, impossibles, roadblocks, SHORTCUTS...

Are you following me?

Get the point?

Heck, take a Wife Strike! I guarantee you and him will be whispering sweet nothings to each other at least twice a week (3, 4, or 5 if you're naughty!) versus twice a year. 

In my last blog, I gave you a little insight into what it means to take a Wife Strike. Well, in this blog, I'm going to flashback to my wedding day, the day that happened before I realized a Wife Strike was even possible. You know, you can take a Wife Strike before becoming a wife. Kinda like The Real Housewives of Atlanta and Basketball Wives. Heck, most of them aren't even married, but they carry the wife title proudly. Being a wife is a state of mind. I'll eventually explain that too! Eventually. One day. When the time is right. For now, let me stick to the topic at hand: My Wedding Day. This was the day I truly needed to take a Wife Strike. You know, I didn't even get a chance to scream, "YOU DA MAN! YEA BABY!"

If you gotta go tinkle, grab a glass of wine, yell "Stop" to the kids for a moment, or "Stop" to HIM for a moment, go ahead before proceeding from your world into mine.

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THE WEDDING

pre-wedding       

    

 

The Wedding


What Was She Thinking?

Looking around the room as the fragrant jasmine tickled my nose; I reassured myself everything would be okay. Brilliant white tulips and pink and red roses tantalized my eyes. Shaking my head, I glared at the bridesmaids talking amongst themselves. I clinched my veil not wanting to raise my hands in anger. It’s almost over.  It had been one of those days when everything started out wrong: The bachelorette party didn’t kick off until after midnight, none of the girls made it to the church on time, the bridal party missed the pre-wedding portraits, some of their flaccid green skirts were too – 

“MOMMY. MOMMY.” The small voice rang out through the now silent room.  

One look at my two year old son’s "Steve Earkle outfit" told me all I needed to know as my train of thought detonated. I gritted my teeth and prepared for the wrath. 

“Hey Trish,” my soon to be mother-in-law echoed. “Don’t he look cute?”

Taking a deep breath and a hard gulp, I smiled and asked, “What size is he wearing? Why didn’t you put him on a suit?” I kept my voice steady and tears at bay while smoothing my hands across the sparkling green rhinestones that were topically placed throughout my white dress. This kept me calm, at least for a moment. “I told you he wears a size four. Did you forget?”

Yeah right. She just disregarded it. She somehow always seemed to get Alzheimer’s around me and for one reason: I WAS NOTHING LIKE HER.

After five years of knowing each other, our feelings suffered a steady decline in favor. Something bordering on dislike had tiptoed into our life. 

“Oh, I thought you said –”

“Never mind,” I abruptly interrupted. I was visibly trembling. My rage was acute.

“Someone, please," I hesitated, "take him away.” Pleading, my hands went flying into the air. Stumbling towards my private space in the back of the room, cheeks on fire, I began screaming, “WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? IS GOD TRYNA' TELL ME SOMETHING? LOOK AT MY CHILD. WHYYYA? WHY IS HE THE ONLY ONE LOOKIN' LIKE AN ABANDONED CHILD? YOU'D THINK SHE'D WANT HIM TA' LOOK GOOD. HE'S HER ONLY GRANDCHILD." Calming down as my cousin started praying over my head and placing holy oil across my forehead, I whined, "I can’t send him down the aisle like that.”


It wasn't the fact that my child looked an embarrassing mess. It was more of the fact that everything was going wrong that day beginning at 9 PM the night before and nothing seemed to be getting better. Plus, I had only 2 hours of sleep! I was cranky, stressed, upset, and tired.


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The WHAT IS YOUR POINT? Moment ---> Keep reading! 

Ten months later, I found myself bracing against the cushion of the couch, a dozen emotions vying for my attention as my eyes wandered vacuously around the house. Glancing at the pictures on the walls and tables, I tried to think happy thoughts. It took every ounce of self-control that God could provide to keep me from cursing this woman out. 

The sentiment was mutual. 

 

*************** THE END *****************


Not Really the End---> Back to Blogging
 

I apologize for the interruption. I bet you're wondering, "Why won't she just finish the darn story? Geesh!"

Welp, then this wouldn't be blogging. Would it?


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The SO THEN WHAT IS YOUR POINT? Moment ---> The point: Control, Alt, Escape, Delete the shortcuts.

1. Control what happens in your relationship by thinking things through without being so quick to react.

2. Unlock alternate ways of doing things that will result in positive energy from both you, your companion, and the things and/or people in your extended family (friends and family members) that could possibly make or break your relationship.

3. Escape from negative things that cloud your mind, spirit, and heart.

4. Most importantly, DELETE, DELETE DELETE the crap, bull, haters, enemies, impossibles, roadblocks, SHORTCUTS....


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Strike Instead of Stress

Still following me? Get the point?

Heck, take a Wife Strike even before becoming a wife! 

Had I figured it out then (You know: A Wife Strike), I would've been screaming, "MORE! MORE! MORE!" on my wedding night.

Instead, I was screaming, "MIDOL, Honey. MIDOL. Please go get me some Midol." I was NOT on a wife strike. Due to all the stress, Mother Nature flew into town and unpacked her bags for a few weeks without warning. She was waaaay ahead of schedule. That witch came during the midst of my screams, cries, and nervous breakdown while my cousin was laying her holy hands across my forehead.

It felt like Mother Nature ripped open my uterus and said, "Calm your butt down girl!" I was lucky to not get any blood on my dress. My mom had to hold it up while I wrapped loads of tissue around the seat of my panties. Luckily, just one more gush away from the entire tissue becoming drenched, someone had found a tampon.


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Communicate
 

Basically, before becoming stressed to no return, I should have:

1. Demanded help from him with the entire planning process, & if he didn't do his part, then I should have gone on strike until he did; 

2. Made him take care of the wedding day attire for our son; & if he didn't take care of it in a timely manner, then I should have gone on strike until he did (And yes, we had a child before marriage. Don't judge me. I'm not perfect.); 

3. Not bought his mom's wedding day dress. JUST KIDDING!  ;-)  *wry smile* I love my mother-in-law!  

4. Not got my bridesmaids tipsy the night before the wedding. I should have just gotten them drunk a week before the wedding and slept the night before the wedding! JUST KIDDING! ;-) BUT SERIOUSLY, with a little more communication, maybe they would have been on time to the church the next morning! AND I'M NOT KIDDING! ;-)

5. Had better communication with his mom. Maybe she would have become my best friend. And that's a BIG maybe.

6. Had better communication with him. Maybe I wouldn't have needed a pre-wedding day Wife Strike! AND THAT'S AN EVEN BIGGER MAYBE!

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Candlelighting
 
 

Be Patient

Patience is an important component of communication. It takes a patient person to actively listen AND talk.

1. Patience controls shortcuts.

2. Patience helps obtain alternatives to making a situation better versus shortcutting around the issues that cause a problem (thus not being able to find the perfect solution).

3. Patience escapes shortcutting the relationship.

4. Patience deletes shortcuts out of the relationship thereby leading to longevity.

5. Overall, taking a Wife Strike requires patience and may help lead to better communication between you and yours, thus leading to longevity and frequent screams of passion.   

 

Signed:  Wife on Strike Signature

PS: I'm not a psychiatrist or psychologist. The information contained in this blog is based off my own experiences, experiences of others, experimenting, and research. If your significant other is uncaring and a complete jerk, this experiment may or may not work! :-/ 

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