Kids Finally Launched - Now What Do I Do With Myself?
By DoriTheia on June 15, 2012
So the adult kids are finally on their own. They have jobs and their own places. They are even out of town now. One is engaged and planning a winter wedding. The babies of the family have graduated from High School and are off to college in a month. Mom's nest is going to be empty.
While the previous blog "Failure to Launch" may have indicated I was disappointed in a couple of my children; that was not the case. The problem was more in how I dealt with them when they hit hurdles in their lives. I didn't allow them the opportunity to take care of themselves when I jumped in and bailed them out. When I changed how I handled it they responded well. I am tremendously proud of all five of my children. They are all doing very well and all now on their own in their various stages of adult life. Two are finished with college and working . One is working and going to college. Those three are all on their own. The two youngest are just beginning college with advanced high school diplomas and scholarships for college.
I have been very fortunate in that none of my children ever had any problems with things such as drug or alcohol addictions, legal issues, etc. Just a few minor "normal" infractions here and there. I won't pretend they were saints. We do have our fair share of tales to tell. I raised them pretty much alone with no support from their father and very limited involvement after our divorce. Statistically, we did pretty darn well.
But what do I do now? Thirty years of being a mom and now what?. Ok its sort of exciting to have this fresh start. I pretty much can do whatever I want (and can afford). I am retired (disabled) so I can go visit each of the kids at their various locations. I can go visit the many other relatives and friends in other locations that I don't get to see nearly often enough. I can move into a little place that's just big enough for me (and my dogs).
I can even choose to move somewhere else. That's the really daunting part. The winters here are brutal to my health condition. The challenge is when you have such a broad spectrum to choose from its difficult to make a choice. It's easier when you had limitations. What to do with all this freedom?? This empty nest thing can be exciting but it also can be frightening. I don't have a "significant other" right now so I am almost too free.
I don't even have any grandkids yet to influence me. I probably need to take deep breaths and not let this newfound freedom overwhelm me so. Take baby steps. Short term choices are ok. I don't have to decide everything at once. I can stay put for now and always change my mind later.
I can snowbird it to the kids warmer climates for a while until I decide what I want to do. After all, they are all "launched" now and have their own places so I have a lot of places to go visit now.
I've always teased them that when they were grown I was going to come visit each of them until I wore out my welcome and then I'd go to the next one. Since there is five of them, by the time I was through with the last one the first one would be ready for me to come back again. So here it is!!
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