Ladies, This Word Needs To Be Banned.

Deep Inside its core, the cupcake developed a bitter sludge due to "Yummy!" abuse.

As an avid cook and  budding writer, I’m always on the hunt for inspiration wherever I can find it.  Vast swaths of time are wasted combing blogs and websites looking for new techniques, new recipes to riff off of, new trends to pursue.  It’s a constant hunt.

That being said, there are a lot of different types of food blogs run by lots of different people appealing to lots of different demographics on the inernets.  There’s the chef to chef sites that I love because they sound like a salty best friend describing a cooking adventure (and usually displaying something dismembered that they’re playing with).  There’s the unexciting informative sites that show you the  nuts and bolts of a kitchen for the home cook in the most generic way possible. Of course, there’s the user generated recipe sites, which are some of my least favorite but provide a good cross reference for research sometimes.  Lastly, and probably the largest category that I come across, are food blogs run by women.

I, being a woman as well as an amateur food writer, can say this without reservation: Ladies clog the internet with our pictures of cakes and tales of cooking for our lovers or families.  I’ve personally seen more scone recipes, pie recipes, babies smashing food into their face pictures and recipes,  baby just discovered and loved food revelations, healthy low fat pasta whatever recipes (usually preportioned for future office lunches), twee musings on preserves and a few really good blog posts.  There isn’t anything wrong with this per se, it’s just the angle the writer felt was relevant to her blog at that time whilst not being my particular flavor of the month.  Also to note, I probably have been guilty of the same at some point.  (Actually, I know I have.  Check this out.)

The point being that after spending quite a bit of time reading blogs and blog posts by females in the kitchen, I have noticed a bit of a trend that needs to stop right now.  Being the owner of a pair of ovaries I feel no hesitation to say this outright:

Ladies, ban the word “yummy” from your food lexicon.  Especially with the cupcakes, WTF.

You know who uses the term yummy to describe food?  Toddlers use the word yummy.  Mothers convincing children to eat lunch use the term yummy.  Nurses call invalid food yummy.  Food bloggers over the age of four should NOT.  We’re grownass women that should be stepping up to the plate when it comes fo our food descriptors.  Use delicious, delectable, perfect, ambrosial, amazing, whatever tickles your tongue- they’re all better than yummy.  The only exception from this rule I feel is when making baby food.  By all means, in the case of toddler cuisine, yummy is a perfectly acceptable way to describe organic crunchy homemade oatmeal num nums.

Yummy is for babies, ladies.  Do most guys who sear a steak describe it as yummy?  Or would a four star restaurant be using the term yummy on a menu?  Has anyone ever seen James Beard describe anything as yummy? No?  Well, that’s why.  Yummy is cute and childish, not something that can be used to describe food with integrity.  Jean George Vongeritchen would probably never describe anything from his kitchen as yummy- even if a gun was pointed at his head.  Neither should we.

We are not children and we shouldn’t cook like it.  Consider the integrity of your food before you ice it with fluffy words.  In other words, ladies, fuck yummy.

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