The Last One Picked
I have a case of the "wah"s today. Yesterday I took the kids to Claire's to spend some of their own money, and after 15 minutes of telling me she thought mother-daughter jewelry was basically lame, Punkgirl was excited to find a leather bracelet set that said "I love my Daddy" on one and "I love my daughter on the other." I was slightly hurt, and I texted Coffeeguy about it, who made the classic parent mistake of texting her about it. (To be fair, he was trying to be helpful, telling her not to hurt my feelings...but middle schoolers are like piranha, and if you show any vulnerability they will eat you alive.)
"Mom, did you SERIOUSLY text Dad about the mother-daughter bracelets?" she asked derisively. I did what any smart, conscientious mother would do. I lied, without batting an eyelash. "No, of course not! He must just be joking." I then waited for her to return to shopping before I furiously texted him again. "CAN YOU NOT TELL HER WHEN I TELL YOU SOMETHING LIKE THAT?? I was sharing my hurt with another PARENT, not asking you to fix it!!" Of course he felt bad. And now he would feel guilty for wearing the bracelet she bought, which would make me feel guilty that he felt guilty.
But I was tired of being the unpopular kid. I gave Punkgirl and Happyboy a challenge about a month ago, and the reward was they could spend two hours of one on one time with whichever parent they chose. I envisioned a nice relaxing day out with each of them...and they both picked him. I had been left out at the Pride Parade, since they all had a Rainbow Thing, and at the time I didn't get that they were mine. And when I asked them to come up with a challenge and prize for me (to show them that it's not that easy), they came up with a prize of cleaning the kitchen. (If they had to come up with a prize for Dad, what would it be? Certainly not cleaning the kitchen. Had I become the cleaning lady/cook to them?)
Yes, these are "poor me" problems. I'm whining. I feel like Sarah Jessica Parker in the Family Stone when she realizes she didn't actually sleep with her fiancé's brother. Or the last kid picked in middle school at gym. "Doesn't anybody love me??" But I'm entitled, a little. I work hard. I'm a good mom. And obviously, I can't text Coffeeguy about it!
www.suckathomemom.blogspot.com I'm a 40 something year old with two tweens and a new baby. This is my effort to keep my sanity after leaving the workforce, taking up breastfeeding, and managing the kids. I'm mostly failing at it.