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I spent last weekend in Denver, visiting my brother & his family. Coincidentally, my cousin was graduating from DU, and I was able to celebrate with him & my aunt's family also.
The weekend went from start to finish without a hitch, til the very end. The entire time was a miracle, absolutely a gift from a Supreme Being.
Highlights included:
--spending the afternoon at the Botanic Gardens with my dad, laughing, smiling, contemplating, and simply enjoying each other's company
--my brother asking his kids to skedaddle outside so he could have time to talk with me & Dad
--my sister-in-law looking me in the eye, then hugging me
--playing in the community pool with my nephews & their cousins
--resting on a lounge chair for an entire hour! Although I couldn't nap because of the noise, it takes a lot for me to just do "nothing"
--seeing the sun poke through the clouds at sunset just long enough for me to shoot a photo of flowers & a cool statue at the gardens
--eating scrumptious high-end "chi-chi" dessert at a dessert bar with a good friend, sharing philosophies, laughter, and The Apprentice
But the creme de la creme, piece de resistance, and all those other fancy French phrases, was sitting in my brother's family room, with my oldest brother too (!), watching Game 5 of the Stanley Cup finals. For once in our lives, us siblings all had something to relate to, something allowing us to "get along".
Every time the Blackhawks scored, we all cheered. Every time there was a lousy penalty against our team, we booed. We played with the kids, my nieces & nephews, and watched them fake WWF wrestle in front of the TV. I got to hear my cousin, and my brother say "please" and "thank you" to the kids, through clenched teeth, as they told them to stop standing in front of the TV so we could watch the game.
If you didn't see the game, here's the recap:
The entire weekend was happy, joyous, & free, just like my 12-step program promises. Never in all my days did I think these things would happen. I had so much fear that my sister-in-law would block me out of her life, and prevent me from seeing my nephews, after my brother passed away. Certainly this is still a possibility, but now at least there's a good chance that won't happen.
I got to see all the best sides of my brother, all the sides I like the most. His generosity, his thoughtfulness, his silliness, his concern, his good intentions for others, and his vulnerability. Truly I have to thank my Higher Power, and myself, for all the effort I've put into the 12 steps, to help me accept reality, this situation, my feelings, and still be present, show up, and offer love & compassion as best I can. By helping me to see my self-centeredness, this program has relieved me of the need to make this horribly tragic situation all about me.
I'm so grateful to the Chicago Blackhawks organization for having an awesome team in the finals right now. The evening just simply wouldn't have been the same, without that bonding moment. The players have brought me so much joy (and mental relief), and also our
