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Late Bloomer: Pick a Job, It's Not That Hard

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A friend from college and I were having coffee together on my day off, and I was telling her about my job.  She laughed half-heartedly at some of the more ridiculous call situations, then cleared her throat and said, seriously, “You know, you really should start looking for another career.  So things didn’t work out with whatever it is you wanted to do when we graduated.  What was it you wanted to do again?  Never mind.  The point is it didn’t work out.  So find something else.  I mean, is this what you really want to be doing?  Answering phones and having people yell at you?”

Woman circling want ads in newspaper

She had a point, of course: I don’t like my job, and since my original career aspirations did not pan out, it is definitely time to redefine my goals.  The problem is I’m having a nightmare of a time trying to decide in which direction I should shape them.  And the increased difficulty of landing jobs or internships “just to see what the field is like” isn’t making getting back on track any easier.

“But you have to have some idea,” she pressed.  “You need to make a plan and get on it like, yesterday.”

The problem with being surrounded by friends who, on average, knew by the age of seven that they wanted to be doctors or engineers is that they can’t understand someone like me, a person who is still trying to find her way, who has yet to find Life’s Great Calling.  To these friends, my inability to pick a direction and take off running is incomprehensible.  To them, I am lazy and unmotivated.

College Friend went on to give me a lecture, reminding me of how much time I’m wasting and telling me to work harder.  “You don’t want to turn out to be nothing in the end, do you?”

There’s an article in a prominent newspaper that I’ve spent the last month reading and rereading.  The focus of the story is a young graduate who, despite having completing her education with high marks, was unable to find employment in her field and so had to move from her university’s busy metropolitan area back to her small hometown, where she accepted a minimum wage service sector job.  I empathize with the girl, not only because I know very much how she feels, but also because the journalist is remarkably sympathetic to her, citing both the competitive nature of her intended field (business), and the rough labor market in general.  Many people are in my boat –- or, like the journalist, at least understand my situation, I thought, feeling comforted.  For this reason, I naively assumed the comments section of the online version of the article would be bursting with well wishes or commiserations.   I expected to read things like, “Hang in there, kiddo” and “You’ll find your own path in your own time.”  Instead, mixed in with downright mean comments telling the girl to get a nose job or to dump her boyfriend for being a “loser,” most of the comments I managed to read before getting too depressed to go on echoed my friend: Get it together.  Pick a career; it’s not that hard.

I let my friend go on for a few more minutes, thanking her sincerely when she was done, because while I could have done without the tone, I do appreciate being made accountable for my decisions.  We said our goodbyes a half-hour later.  She drove away with a wave, probably thinking she had done me a favor.  I sat in my car for a minute.

Pick a career; it’s not that hard.

For some people, maybe it’s not.  But maybe some of us are late bloomers.  I’d like to think that’s not such a bad thing.

 

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Shelly Kneupper Tucker 5 pts

I like the comments about watching for opportunities.  As Amber pointed out, life changes --- and what you thought you wanted to be in your twenties might be something else entirely in the next decade.

I was in my thirties before I found the career path I really wanted to take (I'm a professional storyteller).  It was a dream job until the economy crashed and now I'm not sure what I want to do next.  I'm just watching for opportunities and hanging on to my dream.

Don't let your friends make you feel pressured.  If you have to take a job you don't like in order to pay the bills, remember that it's easier to get a job if you have one.

Network like crazy, keep your eyes wide open, and pounce when you see the opportunity you want.  Best of luck to you.

Shelly Kneupper Tucker

writes at This Eclectic Life ( http://thiseclecticlife.com/ )

Twitter handle: @shellyktucker ( http://twitter.com/shellyktucker )

kazari 5 pts

I've never known what I wanted to do.

That hasn't stopped me building a successful 10 year career in IT.

My advice would be the opposite of your friend. 

DON'T pick a career.

Pick your next opportunity.

Don't worry about the overall direction, just choose something exciting/interesting, that gets you experience you didn't have before.

Eventually you'll build up a heap of experience in roles you find interesting and - wha la! - you have a career!

That's how it worked for me, anyway : )

http://myrope.wordpress.com

DeanaBirks 5 pts

Yeah, I'm about to turn 35 and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.  When I was in college, everyone had a "five year plan" or whatever and I had no clue what I wanted to do.  I changed my major about a gazillion times and ended up majoring in telecommunications.  Somehow I thought I was going to be a romance novelist, but by the time I realized that wasn't what I wanted...Ugh. I sometimes think I'd go back to college but then I think, "What would I study?" and I still don't know.  And it's frustrating.

So, yeah, I guess I'm going to be a late bloomer.  Whatever I am, I hope it turns out to be something worth the wait.

Deana Birks Eat. Drink. Read. Blog. ( http://www.deanabirks.com )

mashadutoit 5 pts

Agreed with Laurie in Sri Lanka - although its easier said than done :)

Something I've learnt - big life changing things like finding a job, a place to live or a partner are not things you can solve by sitting down and bashing your brain.

I think people are often not honest enough to acknowledge the extent to which luck and chance played in their career choices.

Things usually work out if you can be "alert" to life - be ready to grab an opportunity as it goes swinging past. 

LMAshton 5 pts

I think also that, for some people, what the job is doesn't even matter. I know more than a few people who are doing jobs they don't particularly like just because it pays the bills and supports them in doing the things they really do love. And you know what? There's nothing wrong with that. :)

Laurie in Sri Lanka

Chilli & Chocolate ( http://food.laurieashton.com ) | A Canadian in King Parakramabahu's Court ( http://srilanka.laurieashton.com ) ] Photos by LMAshton ( http://photos.lmashton.com ) |

AmberS 5 pts

I did choose a career early on. When I was 15 I decided to become an engineer and I stuck with it and went to engineering school and graduated and worked for 10 years. Then I was laid off. Now I'm ready for a change.

Even when you do make a choice, even when you find yourself with a real 'grown-up' career, things can change. You might realize, as I did, that you don't really enjoy it anymore, or you need something different. That friend you were speaking with could find herself in my shoes at some point down the line. That's the nature of life, it's always shifting on you.

~ Amber

Strocel.com ( http://www.strocel.com )

Debra Roby 5 pts

I'm not sure if I'm a truly late bloomer or just never going to make it.  I've spent my life working at a variety of jobs -most close to minimum wage- inspite of good grades and a master's degree. 

I often wonder what the secret is between me and others who have managed to stick to something.  And I have yet to figure that out.  With retirement in about 10 years, I think I'll give up trying and just do.

Debra A Stitch In Time ( http://astitchintime.blogspot.com ) Weight for Deb ( http://weightfordeb.wordpress.com )