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Lesbian Stereotypes

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While spending a little time, okay a lot of time, on youtube the other night, I found a video, "Lesbian Stereotypes," by Emilythecrazy. It made me laugh every time she hit on a stereotype I fall, or at one time fell into. I didn't know some of the stereotypes still existed, or at least not for the younger lesbian crowd. I mean, Birkenstocks? Really? Are they still popular lesbian footware? I haven't had a pair since I was in college in the early 90's, and everyone had a pair of Jesus sandals. What about Doc Martin's, are they no longer a lesbian stereotype? And shouldn't Chuck Taylor's be?

The video got me thinking about how stereotypes may have changed, but how the old ones still stick with me. When I was Emilythecrazy's age, my early 20's, back in the early-mid 90's, some lesbian stereotypes I remember were; Birkenstocks, black Doc Martin's, small silver hoop ear rings, flannel shirts (though I think that was a carry over from before my time because grunge came in the early 90's and for a brief time confused some people), softball, vegetarian, feminist, Melissa Etheridge or Ani DiFranco or Indigo Girls fan, pickup trucks, mullets, cats, and dog/wolf hybrids. Even now, if I saw a woman with mullet, wearing a flannel shirt, driving a pickup truck, my gaydar would certainly be biased towards indicating lesbian, though in the Midwest there is also a reasonably high probability that she would be straight. Sometimes Midwestern woman screw up my gaydar and I need to recalibrate.

So I set off to find current lesbian stereotypes. After reading Little Miss Drinkalot's post Discovering my lesbian side, I think I might be wrong about the relevance of Birks as a stereotype.

Anyway, The Girlfriend was teasing me because I recently bought a pair of Birkenstocks.
See, you're turning lesbian.
No I'm not.
What's that you're wearing on your feet now?
I bought them because I thought they'd be comfortable!
Doesn't matter, you still bought them.

In the post she also lists cargo pants, G-shock or Tag Heuer watches, and Rav-4s as stereotypes. Cargo pants are a check in the lesbian column with me too. I'll have to trust her judgment on the watch, I thought everyone just used their cell phone to tell time. Who still wears a watch? The car? Maybe, I don't know. I would have gone with a Subaru, but perhaps that just for the lesbians over 35.

 

Lesbian Said What??, got into the more serious stereotypes about lesbians in her post Myths of Homosexuality.

MYTH #2: All lesbians are either butch or femme.
Some gay women are, but many believe they do not have to adopt such restrictive roles in order to express their love of women. This does not mean we should pass judgment on those women who are in butch-femme relationships and who are happy with their roles. The butch-femme myth stems from the visibility of the butch lesbian. The butch lesbian also reinforces the myth that lesbians can not get a man and the butch- femme relationship is acting out the man-woman relationship which is what all women really want. Lesbianism is NOT a dislike of men. Lesbianism is an inclination, a positive emotional, physical attraction to other women. Lesbianism (& homosexuality) is not just a sexual activity - it is something that spans beyond a person's physical behavior. (We all are either butch of femme, just like men.)

Unfortunately, I think the perception of all lesbian relationships being butch/femme will be around a for long time. I think until gender roles disappear or become less important in society as a whole, many will struggle to comprehend how a gay relationship works. I mean someone has to be he man. Right? Does that not irritate anyone else when people ask that?

 

The Cranky Lesbian, posed an interesting question in her post, How Do You Prove You Are Gay?
If you were seeking asylum in another country from persecution for being gay, but you had no evidence because you had to be completely closeted or be persecuted, how would you prove it?

Everything I came up with sounds like a lame joke. I'd probably point to my sneakers first. If that didn't do the trick, I might hand over my iPod. The problem with relying

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Luciee 5 pts

A handbook?  Who knew?  No Birkenstocks but I do have Dr Scholl clogs.  Thats just sounds so old. I just bought a Tuson and my black berry may have an MP3 player on it, but I can barely figure out how to download a song.  Hate all sports but do have 4 cats ... I think I am safe.  Pheww.  Took me long enough to come out, I sure didn't want to go back in. lol

Suzanne 5 pts

All I can say is that I don't have a Suburu. :) But it's funny - when I was just a comfort shoe wearing, feminist symbol toting, cosmetics free loudmouth, no one ever assumed (or at least they didn't voice it) that I was a lesbian. The hair cut is what seems to have done it. And yet I don't know very many lesbians with short hair. (Not that my small sample means anything, but everyone wears her hair on the long side.) I like my hair short, so I guess I'll be throwing people off for a long time.

Suzanne Reisman ( http://blogher.org/member/suzanne ), Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender ( http://blogher.org/topic/feminism-gender )
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants ( http://cussandotherrants.com/ )

Suzanne 5 pts

So, I have short hair. (At one point, it was so short that I could pass for a 12 year old boy.) On top of that, I have a little female sign pendant that I always wear. Plus, I only wear comfortable shoes. (Not Birkenstocks or Doc Martens, though. I hate open-toed shoes and Docs don't come in half-sizes, so they don't fit well.) Oh, and I'm outspoken. And don't wear make-up. Five sure signs that I am a lesbian according to all the people who assume that I am a lesbian. Except that I happen to not be one... So much for stereotypes. :)

Suzanne Reisman ( http://blogher.org/member/suzanne ), Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender ( http://blogher.org/topic/feminism-gender )
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants ( http://cussandotherrants.com/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

Yea, it's people like you who make it hard for us. :-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

Gay men don't own Subarus. :-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

heivilinj 5 pts

What does it mean that I own a Subaru? (although truthfully it's a WRX)

Jim Heivilin

Denise 9 pts moderator

I didn't have one until long after it would have been helpful. A friend gave it to me about five years ago? seven years ago? Gosh time flies. It's packed but when I get to Illinois and find it, I'll share it with you.

Heh. Big Gay Sketch is full of stereotyping. Love it. A bunch of easy to find BGS videos were removed due to copyright issues probably done because Viacom is selling a lot of those on their DVDs. They seem to let them live happily all over the web 'til they launch the videos.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

Denise 9 pts moderator

I think the Subaru thing stems from Martina driving the Forester.

http://www.aef.com/industry/news/data/2000/1120

I think Subaru took a huge chance and I think it paid off for them. But that's probably another topic entirely. :-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

no_I_am_zoe 5 pts

Yep, Subarus are a big lesbian stereotype.  Someone commenting on my blog once called them Lesborus.  Once was all it took for me to latch on to that term. 

Funny thing, my second choice of cars is a VW Passat.  We have similar taste in cars.  Which did you end up buying?

no_I_am_zoe 5 pts

Wow, I never got a handbook, BP and just had to figure it out for ourselves. 

I know there are current stereotypes but I just can't pinpoint them.  It's a know em when you see em kind of a thing.  And after I published my post, I realized that everything I listed about myself as evidence that I am a lesbian, even down to music on my iPod, also applies to my friend Sylvia, who is not a lesbian.  So there's stereotypes for you.

BP told me that I should have posted a link to one of the Big Gay Sketch Show skits, but I couldn't find it on youtube.  Anyway, it was the one where the two women are talking a in a bar and they are trying to point their exes out to one another.  One says something like, "you see the one over there with the leather wrist cuff and the studded leather belt?"  And the other one say, "oh yeah. Yeah.  Which one?" Have you seen that episode?

Debra Roby 5 pts

When I was buying my car 6 years ago, it came down to a choice between a VW Passat and the Subaru station wagon.

"choose the passat" said a friend, "the subaru could confuse folks into thinkin your gay."

First time I'd heard the car tied to the stereotype, but then I'm a bit unaware of these things. I was still going with the mullet/flannels/Birkies...

Debra
A Stitch In Time ( http://astitchintime.blogspot.com )
Deb's Daily Distractions ( http://debsdistractions.blogspot.com )

Denise 9 pts moderator

* Subaru Forester (though not for much longer)
* iPhone w/Ani, Melissa Ferrick, Melissa Etheridge, Tegan & Sara, The Butchies, Indigo Girls
* I have a lesbian handbook
* Lesbian stickers on my laptop
* My feedreader full of queer bloggers (though that would be confusing because it's more full of straight Christian mommy bloggers.)
* A bookshelf full of lesbian fiction, non-fiction

Hmmm what else? I'll think on it.

Current stereotypes? Difficult. There's so much cross-over in dress, activism, language. It's PC to be dyke-like.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )