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Sparkle (0)
When I first started this adventure of mine, I don't know exactly WHAT I was expecting. Some how I didn't think it was going to be this challenging. I've always envisioned myself as a successful songwriter. I've been practicing my Grammy acceptance speech since before I knew that is what I was doing, crafting my interview responses for my favorite magazines. I can't even BEGIN to imagine myself NOT making it. I feel the same way about office jobs as I do about becoming a stay at home mom, I JUST CAN'T SEE MYSELF DOING IT.
However, just because now I'm pointed in the right direction doesn't mean everything is perfect. Quite the opposite, in fact. It's been insanely hard, terrifying, painful, and hellish. And I'm damn glad it has been. I've failed miserably a few times, gotten my heart broken by empty venues, overwhelmed myself, and fallen flat on my face; but every time I peel myself off of the floor and keep going I discover more about who I am and what I want to do.
In the midst of my greatest fears come to life, however, there are miracles. At the end of May I was issued a pay or vacate notice by my landlord. I had to come up with AT LEAST $670 by the 10th or I and my ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD would be evicted. Amazingly, I was able to give him the second check yesterday. I still have bills to pay, but I'm starting to see more and more momentum, more and more things coming together. I'm starting to think that I'm on the ascent finally.
Even more amazing, I constantly find amazing people who keep believing in me. I've gotten some of the most encouraging feed back from you guys about my music and performances, and I am constantly in awe of your belief in me. Especially on those days when I have a hard time recognizing the tired and jaded features in my mirror as the spirited and hopeful girl who started on this journey a year ago.
It's not over yet, but maybe that's a light I'm seeing at the end of this tunnel, and that light is enough to keep me going at least for today.
