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One of the things about midlife is that holidays are starting to feel different. There's not that level of excitement I remember so clearly from years gone by. By this time, loved ones and friends are coming and going and longtime traditions are changing or disappearing altogether. Like in my life:
- Older relatives have passed away like my Aunt Hazel who just died a few weeks ago leaving me to face the holidays without her wit, wisdom and rum-soaked fruitcake. Yes, I come from a family who loves fruitcake - the more gooey and fruity, the better. We're weird like that.
- Relatives like my mom who has severe dementia are limited in how they can participate. It's hard to say if Mom will even understand the holidays this year.
- My son has not only left the nest but now has one of his own where he's building his own family traditions - as it should be.
- Friends are sticking closer to home so we aren't all connecting during the holidays like we used to. I just learned that my best friend won't be in Michigan for Christmas. It'll be the first time in 50 years that we haven't celebrated together.
- And if it weren't for my four-year old niece - the Peanut, I probably wouldn't put up a Christmas tree.
What's the matter with me? Some days I think I have MAD - midlife affective disorder. What's the cure? Well after my private "pity party" today, I realized that as a result of blogging, my circle of friends isn't shrinking, it's growing. I went online and saw women sharing great memories and traditions from past holiday seasons. I actually started feeling better as I read posts like the one by Janet from the Chinaberry Community who writes:
I started my family's Thanksgiving Journal in 1991, when we were selling blank journals and fabric markers. My then 7-year-old daughter decorated the cover with little turkeys and she entitled it, "Our Thanksgiving Album." Over the years I chronicled who shared this special day with us, what recipes we feasted on, what we were particularly thankful for that year, and any special anecdotes, like the year someone accidentally used the kitty litter scoop as a serving spoon in the turkey dressing.
Samantha commenting at 2 Modern Design Talk shared that her:
Favorite Thanksgiving tradition is getting together with my mother's 11 brothers and sisters. They each make their own recipes so we rarely eat the "traditional" Thanksgiving meal. They all have such different personalities that an outsider could be fascinated for days by watching them interact. (ie: crazy uncle Smi won't let go of the olive jar and uncle Stevie shouts constantly and tells the same stories 12 times and we hear them EVERY year.) Their interaction used to be overwhelming, considering I come from a small intermediate family...now I love the busyness of it all!
And it's so great to see all the recipe sharing going on around the Internet as we head into Thanksgiving. I had to stop by the Squidoo lens where Joan shared the recipe for the Congo Squares her family made back in 1954:
I can almost smell the congos in the oven. We loved to gather round and "lick the bowl" while they baked! Mama always made congos for church picnics, long trips in the car to visit relatives, and of course at Thanksgiving and Christmastime.
Note: "Lick the bowl" involved using a long wooden spoon to scrape the bowl of unused dough and eating it -- yes, uncooked!
Just yesterday my sister and I were talking about our holiday food traditions. Usually turkey day would be hustle and bustle as my sister creates a masterpiece holiday dinner with turkey, cornbread dressing (yes, like Grandma used to make), greens, macaroni and cheese and the best sweet potato pie I've ever had. The rest of us provide the sides and big appetites because my sister has become the star cook in our family. We have become the sous chefs to her genius because we know a good thing when we see it.
This year though we'll all have a more relaxing Thanksgiving because we're having a pot-luck dinner with friends where we each bring something. My sister will make a batch of sweet potato pies and I will mix up my signature "kick-ass" cranberry sauce -- the best around! Yes there are a few things I cook really well. Ask my family -- they clamor for the yummy sweet-tart cranberry sauce
