A Letter to My Daughter's First Mom: I'm Angry with You
By Rachael Moshman on July 12, 2012
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Without you, I wouldn’t have my sweet girl. I am so happy and proud to be L’s mother. She’s completed my heart.
She loves school and is very smart. She’s received an A in spelling on every single report card since she started school -- despite nearly a dozen moves before I became her mom. She takes horse riding lessons and gymnastics each week. She’s hanging upside down on a rope attached from the ceiling in a gymnastics class as I type this. She’s extremely flexible and daring. She’s caring, thoughtful and kind. I love spending time with her. She's fun to be with and just a truly cool person. She’s by far the bravest and strongest person I’ve ever met. She’s my hero. She’s absolutely beautiful, inside and out.
I wish you could see her and know how amazing she is. I wish she could see you -- even just a picture. She doesn’t even remember what you look like. I wish you and I could sit down for a cup of coffee. I have so many questions. What was she like as a baby? How much did she weigh when she was born? Do you have any baby pictures of her? Was she born with all of that thick, black hair? What was her first word? When did she take her first steps? And, of course, what happened? How did it all go so wrong for you and your children?
She’s going to struggle with her feelings regarding you for her whole life. She won’t be able to break that connection no matter how hard she tries. And that means you and I will be forever connected. Her First Mom and her Last Mom.
I don’t understand what you did, but thank you for giving me my baby. I promise I’m loving her, caring for her and keeping her safe in all the ways I’m sure you wished you could. I hope you are well and have found happiness. I wish good things for you.
Photo Credit: verybadlady.
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