A Letter to Myself
By Shannon_Lell on February 23, 2012
I heard something that resonated with me. "We teach what we most need to learn ourselves." ~Oprah
Then I came across a letter I wrote to a friend who was going through a difficult, transformative time in her life. I read it again today, and through this new prism, I realized that it could be (and should be) a letter to myself.
I'm posting it here and addressing it, instead, to myself to serve as a reminder of what I already know to be true. But not just that. When I read it again addressed to myself, I realized that I don't show myself the same depth of love and compassion that I showed my friend and there is something wrong with that. When turning the object of the letter around, I felt that deep self-love that I should always feel, but sadly, don't. It was a bit of a transformative moment
So this is also a reminder to show myself the same kind of love that I so willingly give to the other people in my life.
I think about you everyday, more than once or twice, but many, many times. I know you're hurting and because of that, I am hurting for you. What is happening to you right now is something that happens to us all. You are experiencing it through the prism of postpartum depression, I experienced through the prism of losing my job, income, stability and identity. All pain is the same it just looks different on different people. I came out the other side a stronger, better person and so will you. Please believe me when I say that.
It hurts, I know. It's scary, I know that, too. These are growing pains because you are growing right now inside your Soul. God want you to grow and right now is your time. He's not doing it out of anger, God is never angry. He's doing it because he loves you and wants you to have the best that life can offer, but before that can happen, you have to grow deeper inside yourself. You have to shed some of the beliefs about yourself and life that aren't working for you anymore. He wants you to do this and then blossom into the peaceful and contented life you've always dreamed of having. A life that is the truest, fullest expression of who you were always meant to be... and already are.
He also wants you to know who he really is.
God is light. He is the life force behind everything in this world and He is inside of you right now. You are not separate from Him, and He is not separate from you. You never have been and you never will be separate. God is Love and you happen to be one of the most loving and kind people I know so believe it or not, you are already intimate with the true nature of God. That love, that compassion you feel inside you for other people IS you, and it is also God. That is the one big truth and He wants you to know it. He wants you to know that the life force inside of you is also Him, and it is always Love.
You have been my teacher so many times in this life so let me be yours right now. You already have everything inside of you to start to feel better. You don't need pills, you don't need a change in hormones, you don't need more time or energy. You just need to stop the thoughts and learn to control them instead of them controlling you. (Easier said than done, right?)
It takes practice. It takes diligent, thoughtful, mindful practice to stop the habits you have created in your mind. The first step is learning to quiet your mind. It is hard and takes tons and tons of practice because the mind is like a looping tape recorder. You've played the same tape so many times it's a habit (one that you're addicted to) and you need to press eject on the tape recorder to stop the habit and the addiction. You need to quiet the mind. Yoga can teach you how to do that. Because you are NOT your thoughts. You are not what you think. Fear is only a byproduct of your thoughts and it is NOT real.
What you are is light. What you are is Love, what you ARE is connected to everything else that is in this world. You are not separate from everything that is living and you are not separate from God. We are all connected through this life force, this energy. You need to open your mind and your heart into the possibility that it is the truth.
Right now, put your right hand on your heart. Feel it's beat, it's rhythm. Your heart is your guide in this world, not your head. Your heart is the organ that feels and has intuition and compassion and is connected to everything else, NOT your head. Your head just gets in the way and is a horrible interpreter. Listen, LITERALLY, listen to your heart. Your heart will tell you what is true. Your heartbeat will calm you, will bring you back to the present moment. If you can learn to quiet your mind, your heart will give you the instructions on what to do next. That is your innate intuition that guides you. When you don't know what to do next or you are scared put your hand on your heart and listen for a couple of minutes. It quiets the mind and focuses you back on the present moment.
I want you to know that I love you like I love my own children. Not because I think you're a child, but because I can't imagine loving anything more than I love them and that's how much I love you. It will be better. Open your heart to the possibility that this is a growth spurt and when it's over, you'll be happier and more at peace with your life than ever before.
I Love You So Much,
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