The letter "O"
Today's prompt is about being involved in a scandal that played out on an online social forum......
If I ever caused one, I don't know about it. I have seen some, but six degrees of separation and all....
So I decided to take the other prompting option and "blog by the alphabet". Today's letter is "O".
I can choose any "O" word or even several "O" words and write about it...er them.
I am choosing the word "OVER".
I have a shirt that I designed and had printed ...it is blue with white letters. The front says, "Get over it", the back says, "I'm over it".
In the time it takes for me to walk up to you and then by you....I have asked you to get over it and I have gotten over it. The "it" is anything. The "it" is everything. The "it" is usually NOTHING.
I was inspired to make this logo shirt by my experience as a text book soccer mom. The other soccer moms, the soccer coaches, the other soccer parents (dads mostly), and the entire youth soccer culture, put me in a snitty place that forced me to look at my behavior and belief system as well as to put a HALT to my tendency to be Judgey McJudgerson when I witnessed other soccer types in their natural habitat.
I decided that instead of "letting it go".....whatever it is....I was going to go the extra mile and actually "GET OVER IT". Like for real.
Reality is a son of a gun and if you aren't careful, it was smack you upside the head with a brick.
The culture of youth soccer in my town, and I suspect most towns, tends to be intense. Friends become foes. Team mates become rivals. Parents become petty, jealous, small minded, meany pants. <-------that is my grown-up opinion.
I am not cut out for the climate of below the surface boiling that I have seen. I actually try to maintain the attitude that these daughters of ours are simply young girls playing a game. At the young age of 11, not a single one of us has the ability to accurately predict how successful our girls will be and/or how far they will go in their development. And if we did have this magical ability, how could it possibly be used for anything good?
If the goal is to put someone else down in order to raise your child up....well....I believe asked and answered is the response I would use.
So....in all seriousness, Get over it. This is not the end all, be all, and have it all. Playing soccer at a high level will not cure cancer. It will not indemnify you or your family from any tragedy, sadness, loss, or disaster. For our girls, playing soccer is an activity that teaches teamwork, self-confidence, pride in their work ethic, tolerance, problem solving, humility, respect, and if we are lucky, they will build relationships that will last 100 times longer than their athletic prowess.
If I tell myself the truth about how I feel about my daughter and her soccer I would honestly say that my biggest reward has been the friends I have made, the family time we have spent together, and the way my heart swells when I see her laughing with her teammates. Conversely, some of my most heated arguments with my husband have been around soccer. Some of my most ugly cries have been because of soccer and any perceived injustice I think my child may have suffered. Some of my most memorable moments, good and bad, have occurred around a soccer field. I need to continue to get over and be over "it". It is too early in my daughter's young life for 90% of my emotions to be connected to her soccer.
This lesson is not mine to teach. It is mine to learn. I know nothing more than the little I know. I do know that if I continue to remind myself to "get over it", that I will in fact be "over it". I want my girl to PLAY soccer. As long as she likes it. I am not counting on her playing past this season. The decision to commit to 9 months of her 11th year to a single pursuit is a lot to ask. We (she) will reevaluate every single season before tryouts. It's the family decision that has worked well so far.
I know all the stats about girls and sport. I know that keeping girls off the pole, out of jail and on the honor roll happens more often when girls are active in sports. I also know that 13 year old girls can get mentally burned out and even blow out a knee by playing youth sports at a high level. So I will keep my perspective.
In my final analysis, my daughter's sport’s success will be 100% determined by her. My role is to provide the access, support her efforts, insist on balance, and love her through all of it. Anything more turns it into something that is all about me...and for my loyal readers, I think we all know how much of my life is already all about me...(hee hee)
Over and out.