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Mothers are well-known for trying to be all things to all people. We are cooks, maids, chauffeurs, teachers, and on top of all that, many of us also have careers outside of the home. Remember that 70’s ad for Enjoli? Even back then, women were trying to bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and…well, you know. So why do we feel the need to be Superwoman? We CareerMamas are so determined to do everything perfectly; we lose sight of the physical and mental toll it takes on us. As a typical type “A”, I know how difficult it can be to relinquish control. But, if you want to hold on to the last bit of sanity you have left from your trip(s) up and down the maternity ladder, you must allow others to take on some of the household and work responsibilities. The ability to delegate tasks is equally valuable at home and at work, and it is a vital skill employed by many successful managers and mothers. There is a significant amount of guilt felt by mothers who work away from the home. We beat ourselves up about not spending enough time with our children, and worry that the lack of time we spend with them will keep us from forming strong bonds. I remember worrying that my son would call our nanny “mommy” (something that happened to one of my co-workers). It didn’t matter how exhausted I was at the end of the day (or how much work I had yet to do); I kept our special nighttime routine of bath, books, and bedtime songs. I now have a similar nighttime routine with my daughter, which means I now rely more heavily on my husband. This has always been an issue for working moms, but in a down economy, the Superwoman complex and feelings of guilt get significantly worse. Eventually, many of us learn to ask our spouse, partner, or older children to help us with daily household duties. This delegation does not always carry over into our careers. We often feel the need to compensate for having children by bringing work home or pushing ourselves harder. We need to prove that raising young kids will not harm our career. We’ll work from our children’s bedtime until the wee hours of the morning, or get up before everyone else and get a few things done before taking the kids to school. Sometimes we aggravate our spouses or partners by working in the evenings or over the weekend. We anxiously check our smart phones for any email that comes in so we can pounce on it and prove that we can take our child the doctor and still work as though we were sitting at a desk (and who expects you to do that anyway?). Many moms push themselves too hard to do something that can wait until another day. At times I have fallen into this trap. I once negotiated an agreement (BlackBerry to BlackBerry) while walking through an airport with my family on the way to visit the grandparents. On another occasion I drove all over town looking for free Wi-Fi so I could send an updated agreement and then again so I could receive the signed copy before the end of the day on July 3rd. It seemed I was intent on getting myself into situations that created more stress than I could really handle, placing a physical and emotional strain on me. Why do we do these things? We either fail to realize or don’t want to believe that it is physically impossible for us to accomplish everything we task ourselves (or have been tasked) with. To stay mentally and physically healthy, we need to learn how to better manage our time. It has been said, that the best way to manage your time is to prioritize and delegate. In a previous post (The Great Unknown), I mentioned the recommendation by Marshall Goldsmith to create a
