Leu Gardens, Lavas and ...... lots of other weird shit
The day or so after I arrived in America, Clare and I had got up for breakfast, and were by the pool eating a 'breakfast casserole' (yes they eat casseroles for breakfast in America). The sun was beaming and both the pool, and the lake in the distance were shimmering and glinting with light.
"I thought we could visit Leu Gardens today," said Clare, thoughtfully chewing on a turkey sausage.
"What the bloody hell is Leu Gardens?" I asked her, flicking a slice of jalapeno pepper off my bacon [it bounced un-noticed off her dog's head and plopped into the pool].
"It is a tropical botanical garden," she replied, absent-mindedly adding another spoonful of jalapenos to my bacon.
"Does it involve cocktails?" I asked her, desperately trying to stop the jalapeno juice from leaking onto my cheesy egg, by building a bacon dam.
"No. Because they are tropical gardens," she replied, "so they involve flowers, and butterflies and leaves and shit."
"That's not very adrenalin," I pointed out, (surreptitiously feeding her dog my extraneous jalapenos under the table).
"You'll bloody love it," said Clare authoritatively, at the exact moment her dog barfed violently and enthusiastically in my general direction.
"Your dog is a filthy bastard," I said, recoiling with horror and shaking the green bits off my foot.
Clare eyes narrowed and she looked at me like she was Fu Manchu the yellow peril. "Have you been feeding my dog jalapenos again?" she asked suspiciously.
"Not whole ones," I gulped, edging slowly towards the door.
Oops. Maybe not all the things that Naughty George eats are transferrable.
Anyway, I digress. Back to our visit to Leu Gardens. The gardens are tropical and they were bequeathed to the state of Florida by Harry.P. Leu and his Mrs, both of whom had spent their lives collecting interesting specimens of flora.
So that is where we went, and because I am kind, I have got some photographs for you. Not just a few mind you ....... bloody loads of the bastards .......... enjoy!
"Jeez, what are we supposed to do with the bugger?" I asked Clare.
"We just kill it," she exclaimed, before pulling out a huge knife and stabbing the Lavas.
It shuddered and wobbled like an inflatable airbed, and then flopped into a flat mess on the plate.
"So we can just eat it now?" I asked Clare.
"Yeh, just pretend you are ripping chunks off your duvet," she said.
And so the evening got all weird ...................
But, I can honestly say that "duvet + lavas + sauce = sex on a plate'
So dahlink .... don't be shy .... what is your best comedy meal? We ALL have one ;-)
Annie (Lady M) x