I haven’t made a Bucket List – I’m too much of an over-achiever. However, I have devised my Life Questions List, a collection of critical inquiries to which I can only hope to find the answers in this lifetime. And those are:
How come you never find any gray hairs in your hairbrush?
How come when you want to sleep you can’t, and when you need to stay awake you can’t keep your eyes open?
How come the models for anti-aging beauty products are always 20-somethings?
How come psychics don't win the Lottery, like, every week?
When rich people go on vacation, what exactly do they go on "vacation" from?
How come the photos taken of you when you've been drinking always look fuzzy?
How come dirty hair always looks better than clean hair?
Doesn't Shipping inherently require Handling?
How come you never see a man with a "To Do" list?
How come when you get old, your boobs fall Down and your butt goes Up?
How come the only moisture my body can seem to produce these days is the sweat under my boobs?
How come it's always teenagers you see drinking energy drinks?
How come men always want to give you the "gift" of sex on your birthday?
How come the people with the most beautiful houses are never at home?
How comes it’s always gorgeous people who tell you that looks don’t matter?
How come it's always BIG men you see walking little dogs?
How come the only day the tag in the collar of your shirt sticks out is the day you're wearing Jaclyn Smith?
How come Stupid people get more attention than Smart people?
How come Good Hair Days only happen on days you don't have to be anywhere?
How come you feel perfectly fine until after you visit the Doctor?
How come the only guys that ever flirt with me across cars at a stoplight are scroungy ones on their way to check in with their parole officer?
How come I can't grow an eyelash to save my life, but I can sprout hair on my chin like a grown man?
Pressing questions, indeed.