Life Rubber. I'm going to patent that.


Life Rubbers. I don't have a marketing campaign or a sales team.I have an imaginary product that in a perfect world would be bigger than the Lean Mean Grilling Machine. 

Life Rubbers. Erase the past. Rub out the things that just don't need to be there. The ex-boyfriend that led you on for months saying he'd work on things. The credit card debt you accumulated in a trip to Daytona.... Hell the entire trip to Daytona or 2 pounds from the Hagen Das you savored during the season finally of Gray's Anatomy. (Who am I kidding, I eat a pint every Thursday...Sunday.... Mondays sometime too)

They'd come in a tampon shape to avoid any man from ever becoming curious of your powers. 

In a perfect word I would own this product and at this moment, the fumes of burning rubber would be emulating from my flat. I wouldn't use it on my weight, I like when my boobs are a full B after a pint. I wouldn't use it on my ex- No. I would use it on his mother. Not because the 1st time I met her she kicked me out of her house (another 1st to add to the list). Not because I had to compete for his love. No, I'd take my little Life Rubber and Rub until there was nothing but a pile of eraser shreds and then Huff and Puff them out of my life. 

Let me start to explain by giving her some much-deserved respect. The woman is a genius. She didn't raise her son to be a mama's boy. She didn't raise him to be a whimp. She raised him to fear women. She raised him to think we are the devil incarnate. She is a genius. MJ's entire life she scrutinized, criticized and downsized. Nothing was ever good enough and even when it was there were family meeting to discuss what could have done better. Seriously,genius. He looks at women as an accessory. A lunch maker, a laundry do'er and a missing things finder. Not in that dominant man way, but in this way that is amazing. So amazing I let it happen. Shocked that his skills of trickery were so smooth. He could con me into anything and I'd be aware. I knew. It was out of body. I would stand behind myself screaming 'NO! He's doing his thing. His mom magic' and then I would watch myself agree to trying anal sex. I'd agree to move to a foreign country with 2 weeks notice. Yes, I knew it was happening and couldn't stop it. 

She has a gift. He even does it to her and I can see her smirk this ill smirk when he does. He talks her into flying his girlfriend over to take care of him and she does. With that Grouchy grin she flew me across the world. Only to criticize my being there and the next day offering to fly me home to see my family because I have done so much for hers.

He's changed my life in way I will never be able to thank him. I only see it right to pull out my Life Rubber and change his. I always wonder if he'd love me if he were taught what Love was. If he'd have not hid me around his professional friends if he were taught it wasn't weak to Love. If he'd still buy girls drinks and get their numbers if his other had instilled respect in his life. I wonder if I would love him if he weren’t such a challenge. 



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