I awoke to swollen eyes. Lids so tight. Like a pressure cooker on high. Blinking took less effort. Eyes were barely open. Sinuses full with equal pressure. My heart feeling as heavy as anvil. I miss him.That was a lot of tears. The sad heavy kind. The kind that flow with no control, a deep ache within. Arms extended to receive a hug that isn’t there....more
The other day I received two texts from two husbands - past and present - at the same time. Bing bing. I didn’t know they were both texting me, I was precariously in plank position on my yoga mat in my bedroom, solid on my left toes and balancing on the big toe of my right foot - the one with a broken fourth toe. I’ve gotten really adept at using my big toe to manage the needs of my decrepit foot. It takes some concentration, and feels like I’m tempting fate. ...more
"I hate to tell you," said the Husband, looking at me appraisingly in the dim light of the kitchen, "but David Bowie died last night.""No," I said, shaking my head and backing away. "No. No, no, no, no, no. Not him. No."The Husband shrugged. "Look it up on CNN," he suggested....more
"My daughter, when it ends, it ends," my father said. "There is nothing more to it than that and there is nothing you can do about it. In time, there will be something new; still wonderful, still worthwhile."