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Recently, my mother was sharing the story of a woman she met at the seniors club, I will call her Phyllis. Phyllis had been quite ill, was in hospital and upon release was in need of temporary home care. My mother remarked that due to medical cut backs Phyllis had difficulty finding anyone that could come to her home while she was recovering. Also, she noted "Phyllis never had any children... I don't know why?" "If she had had children at least she may not have been alone or would have had some help; though kids are quite busy these days with their own families."
It struck me for a moment, whether she was childless by choice or struggled with infertility in her partnership, she was alone. As Phyllis transitioned from youth, midlife, marriage, the loss of her husband and now well in her senior years, she did so without children.
As someone who is childless I paused to think what that would be like. Right now I talk to my mother every day, she knows I would be there if she needed me. But who would be there for me? Will I be lonely without the extended family that comes with having a child and possibly grandchildren? Does the prospect of not feeling the love of a child, constitute looking at adoption?
Maybe even if Phyllis had children she still wouldn't have seen them. I guess in hearing about her story, my life flashed forward and for a moment I selfishly wished my children were there.
