Living On The Verge Of Limbo During Midlife
By Mrs. Q on August 28, 2014
Limbo means pretty much the same thing in Spanish or English. The land between the dead and the alive.
I've heard many times, "I'm in a limbo right now." But, what does that really mean, maybe existing and letting life pass by without really living not really doing much.
It can be a place where some of us now and then get a visiting pass.
When I began my mid-life and my kids became adults it came with a hopper pass like the ones you get in Disney. For a while, I was in the land of the forgotten of the no longer needed. Now I know that it's part of the process of parenting, I'm still needed, but in a different way.
However bad it made sound , It's that kind of place where it's pretty nice and comfortable, but leads nowhere specific. It becomes so pleasant we just want to stay there for an indefinite time. To tell you the truth, for a while it's frigging awesome not to worry about going places.
Even so when you need to check out of it, it's more like trying to check out of the Eagles' Hotel California. I don't know how many of you out there remember the lyrics of that song where they sang "you can check out any time you want, but you can never leave" . It's kind of creepy thinking you can be stuck there forever.
The thing is we need to leave our personal limbo's quickly or we may run into the possibility of never checking out. We'll be trapped there and life can be so short, but also it can be sooooooo long.
Our circumstances may vary from time to time and it basically works two ways. Or either we can't control them or we can. Circumstances we can't control usually are those that are imposed by something bigger than us. On the other hand, they are circumstances that pertain to our day-to-day lives that we can and should tackle them in an unmerciful way.
Small changes so many times produce huge results
Certainly living in the limbo without getting out there or taking charge of our lives is easier than putting ourselves through the excruciating process of change.
It's easier to just let things and ourselves go. Specially when midlife come creeping by.
WE validate our existence in this beautiful but none challenging land, saying we really can't do anything about it, or can we?
We need to allow ourselves to move out.
It's like being stuck on a beautiful island, full of gorgeous tropical flowers, palm trees, green vegetation, and all sorts of birds with harmonious songs that sweeten our ears, with only one boat on the deck. You know you need to get on that boat and transport yourself to a much fuller life, but you just can't make yourself do it.
Usually just trying to figure things out is exhausting and takes up most of our energy and it's really quite simple. These three simple steps have worked wonders for me. I kindly invite you to give them a try.
First, give yourself a good shake. Blendarized yourself if possible in "grind mode". Change your mind configuration and give yourself the blessing of a blank mental slate.
Second, give yourself a good hard look (inside and out) leaving nothing uncovered. You have to love yourself as you are, not as you'll like to be.
Third, and last get moving "mis queridos amigos". There will be no change if we are not willing to put the work in.
Apply these three simple steps to basically everything that has you stuck there. It could be trying to become a healthier person (which will bring down your weight and a whole bunch of issues), it could be professionally (getting out of that job you just hate), honestly looking at your faith (in what do you really believe in), it could be getting out of a really bad short or long-term relationship (even if it means splitting your assets and all that crap). It could be so many things, the best part here is that you get to fill in the blanks of your personal issues, I know mine.
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